


Dancing Around You

by littlejeanniebean



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hogwarts Era, Idiots in Love, Jilytober 2020, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Soulmates, Teenage Drama, Tumblr: jilytober, Wizarding Wars (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 59,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26756065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlejeanniebean/pseuds/littlejeanniebean
Summary: He slid into the bench beside her. “I’ll meet you in the cupboard same time tomorrow. Maybe we’ll catch another rendezvous. And I’ll help you get to the bottom of this. If he really is your friend and this is all some kind of misunderstanding, I’ll be happy for you both, I solemnly swear. I don’t know when we started getting off on the wrong foot, Evans, but I want you to feel like you belong in your own house too.”Or:James and Lily are not friends, but we all know it's only a matter of time...
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Mary Macdonald & Marlene McKinnon & Dorcas Meadowes & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Mary Macdonald
Comments: 561
Kudos: 161
Collections: James and Lily Fanfics





	1. Stuck in a Broom Cupboard

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to MagicGirlInAMuggleWorld for her curated prompt list! Merlin, help my GPA if I keep this up.

Lily was on her way to Potions after Care of Magical Creatures. It was the one class she didn’t share with her best friend. She heard his distinctive voice echoing through the corridor before she saw him talking to one of the Slytherin prefects, Luke or Lucas or something. 

“I only want to ensure that you feel a sense of belonging in your own house, Severus,” said the pale, platinum blond Slytherin. “Why else would you be hanging around that mudblood all the time?”

Reflexively, Lily ducked into a nearby broom cupboard. Had they seen her? At home, Petunia always prefaced her vindictive actions with a few, targeted insults, almost like she was taunting Lily. 

Severus had not said anything yet in her defense, but he’d never been much of a talker and that prefect was notorious for his stinging hex. Severus would be no good to anyone in the hospital wing. 

“Some friend he is,” muttered a voice from the darkness of the cupboard. 

Lily gasped and whirled around. “ _Lumos!_ ”

“Hey! Put that out!” The boy squinted through his spectacles. “The dungeons are dark enough that they’ll see the light out from under the door!”

“Well, if you don’t keep your voice down, a little light’s going to be the least of our problems, no?” she shot back immediately once she realized whom she was temporarily stuck in a broom cupboard with — the insufferable James Potter.

“I’ve cast a silencing charm.” He grinned cockily, very proud of himself for thinking ahead apparently. It was a rather rare occurrence, granted.

Out in the corridor, the Slytherin prefect was saying, “Your talent for potions and dark arts is not going unnoticed, Severus. I suggest making yourself a more desirable ally by cutting ties with your… little crush. There are plenty of better girls in Slytherin.”

“Noticed by whom?” asked Severus. 

Lily’s heart plummeted. That’s what he took away? Really? Not that she harbored any romantic feelings for him whatsoever. They were only fifteen, after all. But they _were_ best friends and she’d always stood up for him when the Gryffindors, like James Bloody Potter, would tease him for his second-hand robes and lackluster grooming — not everyone can afford Sleekeazy. 

“It doesn’t matter yet.” Lucius. She remembered the prefect’s name now. Lucius Malfoy, one of the pureblooded nouveau riche. “And it won’t until you get your priorities sorted. I just want you to be prepared for when the opportunity does arise. You could be great, Severus, if you allowed yourself to be.”

“Tell me who,” said Severus. “Better yet, take me to them.”

“I simply can’t,” drawled Lucius. “Not when your loyalty —”

“I don’t owe her any kind of explanation if I were to simply never speak to her again.”

Lily’s hand shot towards the doorknob, but James grabbed her wrist.

“Wait," he said. "Let’s find out who’s really in charge.”

They heard two sets of footsteps retreating and then let themselves out of the cupboard. 

“What were you doing in there anyway?” Lily’s curiosity got the better of her as she tiptoed down the corridor after her ex-best-friend. 

“Hiding from Filch.”

“Typical.” She rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t you want to know why?”

“I have a feeling the less I know, the better.”

The Slytherins disappeared behind the portrait to their common room. 

“Too bad,” James sighed dramatically. “It would’ve really helped us now.”

Lily narrowed her eyes. “What would?”

He grinned. “I just need a diversion. You’re a straight-O, trustworthy student —”

“No.” She frowned deeply. “Leave me out of this. Whatever it is. I bet you don’t even want to help me at all! You’re just an arrogant, selfish pig —”

“Hey! I’m not the one who just betrayed you for some vague shot at ‘greatness!’”

Lily huffed and stormed away. She had Potions in fifteen minutes. Then she remembered James was in that class too. 

He slid into the bench beside her. “I’ll meet you in the cupboard same time tomorrow. Maybe we’ll catch another rendezvous. And I’ll help you get to the bottom of this. If he really is your friend and this is all some kind of misunderstanding, I’ll be happy for you both, I solemnly swear. I don’t know when we started getting off on the wrong foot, Evans, but I want you to feel like you belong in your own house too.”

Before she could answer him, her usual Potions partner, Mary MacDonald arrived. “Oi, you’re in my seat, Potter.”

“Tomorrow.” James left to join his disaster of a friend, Sirius Black, on their bench, where they were bound to blow something up. 

Despite her better judgment, Lily was insanely curious. The sorting hat had seriously considered putting her in Ravenclaw before it found Lily’s memories of Severus and the countless number of times she’d stood up for him against the village boys, who were bigger than both of them.

* * *

Lily really hoped she and Severus were still friends. But just like he’d promised Lucius, he hadn’t spoken to her since that day. It could just be because they had midterms revisions, yet Lily still worried. She couldn’t bear to lose him the way she’d lost Petunia and all her Muggle school friends as soon as they heard she was going to some ‘posh boarding school.’ 

“Viola.” James seemed to present her with empty air as soon as she set foot inside the cupboard.

She didn’t know who the bigger idiot was, him or her. “I’m leaving.” 

“No, no, wait!” James threw the air over himself and he disappeared along with the ball of light at the tip of his wand. 

Lily squeaked. “ _Lumos!_ ” She looked around. “Potter, this isn’t funny!”

“It kind of is,” his voice came out of nowhere. “You should see your face right now.”

“I’d much rather see yours! You’re scaring me!”

James revealed his head. “Get in, Evans. There’s more than enough room for both of us.”

She could not have gaped wider if she’d been making a concerted effort. “Is… Is it a spell? No, you’re not _that_ good at Transfiguration… but no invisibility cloak is _that_ good!”

“Old magic,” James said as if that explained everything. “Family heirloom.” 

Lily nodded dumbly. She still had so many questions, like _hasn’t hunting demiguises been illegal for millennia?_ Just how old was that thing and how was it still in good condition? Old magic was powerful, sure, but once it got old enough, it simply started to deteriorate and —

“Now,” James checked a crisp piece of parchment. “Lucius Malfoy is snogging Narcissa Black in the Astronomy Tower, but he should be along shortly and Sniv—Snape should be by for Potions any minute.”

“What is that?” Lily inched closer. “Another heirloom?”

James beamed. “That’s the hope. Still need to work out a few kinks, add a couple more layers of security — Snape’s here.” His face turned grim.

Lily watched the footprints walk into the Potions classroom. “I… guess no rendezvous today.”

“I guess not.” James stuffed the cloak and parchment into his book bag. “Try again tomorrow?” 

Lily nodded, green eyes downcast.

“Hey,” his voice was softer than she’d ever heard it. “You’re not alone. Even without that… guy.”

“Thanks, James.” Two words she never thought she’d say. 

They walked into Potions together, James glaring daggers at Severus, only this time, Lily thought he was justified. 

As she sat down, a dainty paper bird fluttered towards her from the Slytherin side of the room. Severus was looking at her expectantly. Heart thumping in her chest, she unfolded the origami.

_Dearest Lily,_

_I fear Lucius Malfoy is planning something. Someone outside the school is involved. Someone dangerous with an anti-muggleborn agenda. If I can get some key people in my house to believe that we are no longer friends, I can get to the bottom of this and protect you. I promise to go straight to Slughorn with whatever I find so the proper authorities may deal with it. Please, I beg of you, do not get involved yourself, least of all with someone as reckless as James Potter. I know how you feel about letting others fight your battles and that is the only reason I’m telling you to watch the personal ads in the Prophet. You can owl me if you manage to decipher anything suspicious._

_Until we may speak safely again, I remain forever yours,_

_Sev_

Lily felt she could sing, but she only smiled and burned the paper so there would be no trail. This little scare had taught her something important though. She got along well with everyone in her house, but she wasn’t as close to anyone as she was with Severus. It wasn’t fair to put so much pressure on their friendship like that. 

“Hey, Mary.” She greeted her partner. “So… I heard there was going to be a girls-only party in Moaning Myrtle’s lavatory tonight?” She’d never gone to any of the parties before because it always sounded like the kind of things Petunia dragged her to over the summer at their mother's insistence that Lily not be left out. 

“You’re coming?” Mary’s eyes widened in shock, then in glee. “Yes!” She pumped her fists in the air. “Girls, we’re prefect-sanctioned!”

Marlene, Dorcas, and Emmeline, from Lily’s dorms, promised to help her get ready for her first-ever party.

* * *

The next day, James was waiting alone in the broom cupboard when he saw map-Lily walk right past into Potions. He frowned. Maybe the blasted thing was broken again?

Before he could figure out exactly what had gotten wrong with their charms work, Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape’s footprints met in the corridor. 

James threw his cloak over himself and followed them into the common room. He filed away their new password — “Morgana” — for later use. 

“Congratulations, Severus, your services are required. You will be well-compensated, of course.” Lucius strode over to the fireplace and peered into it, probably in an effort to look broodingly handsome. In James’ opinion, he just looked constipated as he counted out seventy galleons. “You get the same amount when you deliver a wolfsbane potion.”

Snape’s eyes widened.

Lucius raised an eyebrow. “That is not above your skill level, certainly?”

Snape blanched. “No, but _why_ would I make a potion for disgusting halfbreeds? I thought the cause was for the supremacy of wizardkind!”

“I am so pleased you see it that way,” Lucius smirked. “You are young yet, so I understand why you don’t see the bigger picture. They are a means to an end. Everyone fears them, and with them on our side, everyone will fear _us_ and fear is a most potent power if wielded correctly.” 

James felt like he was going to be sick. He had to go to Dumbledore immediately. Fenrir Greyback, the werewolf who bit Remus, was still on the run. What if he’d joined up with this crazy lot?

Snape shoved the galleons deep into his pockets. “Tell Riddle he’ll have his potion in time for the full moon.” 

James frowned as he committed that name to memory. He hoped it would mean something to Dumbledore. He ducked out of the common room at the same time Snape did. With the next class period starting and the corridor empty, he whipped off his cloak and burst into the Potions classroom. Before seeing Dumbledore, he had to warn Lily. 

“MacDonald, switch partners with me for the day?” James asked. “Sirius says he can’t stop thinking about you.”

Mary blushed fiercely and nodded, making the switch. 

“What’s wrong?” asked Lily. “You look like you’re about to commit Murder One.”

He told her everything and she told him about Snape’s secret letter. 

“He’s… a double agent?” James cut up some slugs for their potion. 

Lily nodded cheerfully, stirring clockwise.

“I wouldn’t believe him, Evans. Lucius said talent for potions _and_ dark arts.” The disgust he’d seen on Snape’s face when he’d spoken against werewolves had to be genuine. It was a look James had seen many times in his family’s pureblooded community. 

“You said you’d be happy if he was still my friend.” Lily sniffed their potion and added a bit more powdered lizard eggs to improve it. “It seems like you really want him not to be.”

“I’m just worried that he might take advantage of your trust —”

“Well, I think I’m a pretty good judge of character, so —”

“Well, you vehemently dislike me, so I’m not sure how good a judge you can possibly —”

“Wow, narcissistic much?” Lily rolled her eyes. 

“At least humor is _my_ defense mechanism.” James dumped the slug slices into the cauldron. “Not playing both sides and hoping no one gets hurt —”

“You couldn’t hope to play _one_ side because you’re too reckless to win —”

“I’ll have you know that Gryffindor’s been on a winning streak ever since I’ve joined —”

“Contrary to your belief, Quidditch is not life!”

Their cauldron frothed over with thick, gooey sludge. 

“Look at what you did, Potter!” she seethed.

“Look at what _I_ did?” he yelled back. “That’s what happens when you don’t stir! _You_ were in charge of stirring!”

“Exactly! And you were distracting me —”

“Potter!” Slughorn bellowed. “Evans, this is very unlike you. Please, clean that up at once! We don’t have any windows down here, you know! Severus, help them.”

“Yes, Professor.” They mumbled. 

“Lily.” Severus said, squeezing her hand under the table. 

“Sev,” she whispered back. 

“I’m sorry you’re stuck with this imbecile.” He gave James the stink-eye.

Now more than ever, James vehemently disliked Severus Snape. 

“Only for today, thankfully.” And now more than ever, Lily vehemently disliked James Potter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/) for more Jily content!


	2. Quidditch is Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insert gratuitous Quidditch match a la movies one and two.

James scarfed down his hearty breakfast, leather-padded elbows digging into Sirius and Remus on either side of him.

Sirius didn't mind, because he had his leather-padded elbow digging into James and Peter on either side of him, but Remus _did very much mind_ and decided to switch places with Marlene so the Quidditch-players (and commentator) could eat together, elbows and all.

"Morning." Lily smiled at her fellow prefect as he sat beside her.

"Wait a second, I can't function without coffee this early." Remus took a long, slurping sip of his black coffee, which he could drink now that he was at Hogwarts and his mum wasn't around to tell him 'no.' "Ah, much better. How're you doing? I'm great!" He beamed.

Lily laughed at his antics. "Pretty good, actually. Shacklebolt's plan for keeping the students in the stands under control is the soundest I've heard yet. That man is going places, let me tell you." 

Remus rested his chin on his hand and looked at her patiently.

"What?" She sipped her tea.

"You said 'let me tell you,' so I presume you're gonna tell me." He grinned cheekily.

She gave him a playful nudge. "You know what I meant."

From across the table, James couldn't hear their conversation, but he could tell they were comfortable around each other and that brought a smile to his face. He was happy that being made a prefect this year had gotten Remus to make friends outside of the Marauders (although they were still his very _best_ friends) and now that James knew something was _definitely_ wrong with _Lily's_ best friend, he was happy she was making others too.

"You've got something." Lily pointed at his face. "Just there."

If he were any other teenager, he might've been embarrassed, but not James Potter — no, never James Potter! It kind of irked Lily how unbothered he seemed as he brushed the bit of food off his face, actually _thanked_ her for letting him know, and then stood with a stretch before heading off to the pitch for a pre-game warm-up with Sirius and Marlene, his fellow chasers. 

"You ready?" Amelia, one of the older Hufflepuff prefects, approached them.

They'd agreed at their last meeting that their trio would cover the northwest bleachers together.

"Let's go." Remus jumped up.

Lily grabbed three large hot cross buns and followed them. Quidditch matches could go on until well-past lunch. 

Once the heads and prefects positioned themselves throughout the stadium, McGonagall let the rest of the students in. 

Almost immediately, the chanting began.

_Go Gryffindor!_

_Play hard and then play more!_

_Go Gryffindor!_

_Give Slytherin what for!_

_Gooooo Gryffindor!_

In the locker room under the pitch, the Gryffindor team captain, Roger King gave his usual spiel about how their beaters, Arthur Weasley and Molly Prewett, should focus on the Slytherin seeker at all times because their own seeker was Maisie McGonagall. (Yes, she's Professor McGonagall's niece, so they had _absolutely_ spread rumors that if anyone so much as touched a hair on her head, the deputy headmistress would not hesitate to find an excuse to expel them.)

"Chasers," King addressed the youngest players on his team. "I don't want to see that quaffle anywhere near me, understand?"

"Sir, yes, sir!" the three chorused, fighting to keep their faces straight.

How could they, wondered James, when they were about to play the greatest game in the world?

"Let's win this thing!" McGonagall mounted her broom.

The rest of them followed suit and at Hooch's whistle, flew onto the pitch.

_G-R-Y!_

_F-F-I!_

_N-D-O-and-R!_

_It's no lie_

_Quick in flight_

_Are the brave at heart!_

_Gooooo Gryffindor!_

James waved at the red and gold portions of the stands as he soared past. A head of bright red hair caught his eye and almost made him take a nose-dive into the grass. Lily _never_ came to Quidditch matches and she didn't seem to be there with her friends. 

"Alright, Evans?" he asked.

"Sorry?" she yelled back at him.

He hooked his ankles together under his broom so he could cup his hands around his mouth. "Alright, Evans?"

She threw him a thumbs up and Hooch whistled for the players to wrap-up their showboating and get in line for the match. 

All thoughts of Lily vanished from his mind as he rejoined Sirius and Marlene. There was only the game and winning it for his house, for his family, for his — okay, maybe not his country, but maybe one day —

Hooch threw the quaffle and he snatched it out from under the Slytherins' noses.

Peter, who was commentating the match — in his best Gregory Peck impression, apparently — exclaimed. "Good god, Potter's fast! What form, what finesse, what — _look out, Prongs!_ "

James dodged a bludger before passing to Sirius, who faked out his younger brother, Regulus, with ease. 

"Gonna have to try harder, boy!" Sirius let out a barking laugh, passing to Marlene.

Regulus just grimaced and almost tackled him out of the sky just as Marlene made the first goal of the match.

Peter rattled off the points. "Hooch calls a free shot for Gryffindor and it is well justified given the younger Black's unsportsmanlike display of ill-temper. Mulciber benches him and replaces him with Goyle. Black takes the shot for Gryffindor — and that's another ten points!"

Honestly, Lily didn't understand what all the fuss was about. It was like American football, but with other projectiles and a golf ball that, when found, nulls any number of points under the absurdly high amount of 150, so why was anyone even excited about the first twenty in a game? She was glad she brought her book. (Yes, she was re-reading Pride and Prejudice. No, she will not be taking criticism for her kilometers-long reading list at this time.)

She was just getting to the part where Lizzie stays over at Netherfield when Peter yelled (somehow louder than he had been yelling thus far), " _McGonagall has spotted the snitch!_ "

Suddenly, the Slytherin beaters converged on the Gryffindor seeker. 

The spectators gasped in shock. No one had ever dared play that boldly before. 

“Go, go! Weasley! Prewett!” Roger yelled. “Hang in there, Maisie!”

“McGonagall can’t dodge both bludgers at once!” Peter’s Gregory Peck impression faltered. “She takes two — three — _bloody hell!_ Malfoy is tearing ahead, reaching out for the snitch — Weasley and Prewett manage to steal a bludger from Parkinson and Avery — _ooh,_ Malfoy takes a hit! Weasley and Prewett defend McGonagall, she’s got a wider berth now, but the snitch has vanished once more! King requests a time out, Hooch calls it. McGonagall, er, that is, Professor McGonagall is heading down to the pitch. The professor is on the pitch. The professor is —”

“Thank you, Pettigrew.” Professor McGonagall’s face was screwed up in disgust. 

“Are you alright, Maisie?” Roger was the first to dismount, followed closely by James. 

Hugging her side, the seeker smiled. “I’m —”

“King, what is the meaning of this?” The head of house demanded of her team captain. “I’ve heard the rumors your team has been spreading, but I would think you prepared her better than _this!_ Or were you really relying on something as _flimsy_ as a grapevine to carry you?”

“I — I’m sorry, Professor —”

“Auntie, it’s my fault!” Maisie cut in. “I’ll train harder. Roger and I have been studying professional techniques and —”

“Oh, I know all about your _‘studying’_ too.” McGonagall pursed her lips. “But that is a conversation for another time. Right now, Maisie, keep your shoulders low, your ankles locked, and your head on a swivel. The chasers have more freedom of movement, so let them be and keep Weasley on Maisie and Prewett on Malfoy. King...” She narrowed her eyes at the boy who was snogging her niece. “Win this game.”

“Aye, Professor.” He stood at attention and might’ve saluted her if he didn’t have one hand on his broom and the other lightly holding onto Maisie’s wrist.

“Potter.” McGonagall beckoned him to stay while the others took flight once more. “Organize your fellow chasers. Get us over 300 points. We need a buffer in case Malfoy gets the snitch.” 

“You got it.” He nodded resolutely and took off. “Black! McKinnon! Let’s give ‘em a Gremlin!”

James did not just know Quidditch, he knew brooms. While the Slytherin team had managed to outfit their entire team with the newer Comets for better speed alteration, the standard Gryffindor Cleansweeps were still better at sustaining high speeds once they got to it. 

“Black and McKinnon Formation Looping like the dynamic duo they are!” Peter exalted. “Mulciber, Crabbe, and Goyle don’t know where to look!”

James accelerated along the far left of the pitch, towards the Slytherin goal posts. Bright red hair caught his eye. Lily was now invested in watching the game, her book abandoned on the bench behind her. And much to his surprise, she was watching him with a curious expression on her face. Was she trying to figure out the play? It wasn’t a professional strategy at all, just something James had come up with over the summer. He’d never even played it in a match before, but it had never failed him yet either. 

“Black and McKinnon looping closer now with Crabbe and Goyle hemming them in — They’re coming towards Potter, but they don’t pass, though Mulciber thought they would! Potter circles the pitch again… Mulciber attempts a double Parkin’s Pincher — big mistake — he and Crabbe narrowly avoid a collision. Black and McKinnon approach Potter again — Goyle falls behind in his attempt to intercept the pass that wasn’t. Potter circles the pitch yet again at ninety kilometers per hour now — what is that lad playing at?” 

Lily was wondering the same thing. She’d put out a literal fire from someone’s Zonko’s firecrackers and stopped a duel from breaking out between the Prewett brothers and the Black sisters (not Andromeda, she was one of the prefects and an angel), but Potter still hadn’t done anything when, before the timeout, Gryffindor had been scoring ten points every five minutes.

Even Peter was taking a break from commentating to have a sip of water, but he promptly spat it out like a whale. “Black passes to Potter!” He cried out in his normal high-pitched voice, then composed himself and resumed his impression. “Black passed to Potter, who’s clocking — Merlin’s pants, a hundred and ten kilometers an hour — Are you sure about that, Moony? He’s sure, witches and wizards! Slytherin chasers quickly gain on Potter, but — hang on, their Comets are swerving — shaking — Mulciber’s just nose-dived, but he got it leveled… more or less. Potter scores — Black catches the quaffle on the other side, passes to McKinnon, who winds up — nope, that’s a pass to Potter, who scores again — Goyle finally catches up to them on his shaky Comet — Potter scores again just as Mulciber finally regains his control of broom and requests a timeout.” 

As James Potter whooshed by the stands in a blur of red and gold, Lily let out a laugh. It was child’s play from there. She’d never seen anything like it. Even after the timeout, the Slytherin team’s brooms were never the same. She had to hand it to Potter, honestly. That play took some brains to work out. Malfoy caught the snitch after a close race with McGonagall, but Gryffindor was still a whopping hundred and seventy points ahead anyway. 

Students flooded onto the pitch post-game and Lily had no choice but to let herself get swept with the tide or else get trampled.

“Congratulations, old chap!” Fabian Prewett clapped Roger King on the back. “That was a brilliant play! What’s it called?”

“The Gremlin.” Roger grinned. “We’re lucky to have such brilliant chasers.”

“Pshaw.” Gideon shoved him playfully. “You’re too modest, Captain. Three cheers for Roger King! Hip, hip!”

“Hooray!” Maisie McGonagall led several of her peers in the response.

“Hip hip!”

“Hooray!”

“Hip hip!” Gideon called once more.

“ _Hooray!_ ”

Lily narrowed her eyes as Roger King was lifted high above the crowd after Maisie had snogged him senseless. You’d think he won the cup already. 

“Alright, Evans?” an increasingly familiar voice came from behind her.

She whirled around. “I — You — But that was _your_ play!”

“Aw, let him have his moment.” James shrugged, running a hand through his windswept hair. “He’s a good captain and it’s all in the team, right?”

Lily didn’t look convinced.

James just smiled. “I’m glad _you_ know, though.”

It was like her first year all over again. After being sorted, she was devastated at being separated from her only friend, but James had been there with a proffered hand and that same smile. Granted, it was a smile he gave to all his friends, and even some people he barely knew if he passed them in the corridor, but something inside Lily latched onto it and wouldn’t let go. 

“Congratulations, Potter,” she said, giving him a smile of her own.

“Thank you, Evans!” He laughed as Sirius grabbed him from behind and practically threw him at his blushing Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff fangirls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/) for more Jily content!


	3. The Things We Do For Our So-Called Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jily Nancy Drew it around Hogwarts and there's a prank involving a bathroom. Oh yeah, and the Marauders give James a hard time about Lily XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the anon who sent me a guy in a hat emoji on Tumblr, Frank Longbottom has a fedora just for you xx

“Come _on_ , mate!” Sirius whined. “Bones was looking at you like she wanted to, well, jump your _bones!_ ” 

“She was _not_ ,” James huffed. “If anything, she was the most respectful of all of them.”

“Which makes me even more confused, because you _love_ that sort of thing in a woman!”

“I don’t know, Padfoot.” James carded his fingers through his hair. “She’s just not my type, I guess.”

“She kicks your arse in duelling club, actively tries to catch you in a prank, and if she were still on the Hufflepuff team, she’d be outflying you too, so don’t tell me she’s not your bloody type, Prongs!”

“Padfoot,” Remus rolled his eyes, quill between his teeth as he contemplated his third revision on his Charms essay. “We always knew you’d be the first of us to go steady with a girl, and we’re fine with that —”

“I’d like a girlfriend,” Peter sighed longingly. 

“There you go!” James jumped up from his desk, pulled Peter off his bed, and shoved him at Sirius. “Help Petey. He wants it. I’d personally suggest playing the Quidditch commentator card and starting with the Gobstones Club. They’re nice.”

Remus, apparently satisfied with his essay, went to check on James’ at his desk. “Er, Prongs… why are you stalking Snivellus on the map again?”

“I’m checking if the Eyes-On charm works.” James lied through his teeth. After telling Dumbledore the name ‘Riddle,’ James had been sworn into secrecy and warned not to get any further involved. This was his way of keeping in the loop while maintaining his distance. 

Remus frowned. “It doesn’t work from inside the castle and a simple diagnostic spell would’ve told you as much.” 

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him as well. “What’s Snivie up to?” 

“He’s hanging around the prefects’ bathroom a lot. Lucius Malfoy lets him in.” James did not want to get his friends in trouble, especially since Remus was a werewolf in hiding. “I think if we put a permanent sticking charm on the door —” Contrary to the name, permanent sticking charms can be undone, but only by the caster. “— it would make an excellent prank.”

“We should do it right before the Ravenclaw vs. Hufflepuff match!” Good, dependable Peter jumped on the idea right away. “Those always take the longest!”

“We’ll have to stick the windows as well,” said Remus, who had actually seen the inside of the bathroom. “And put Unbreakable wards on them.” 

“And we can’t simply lock them in the bathroom, oh-ho, no!” Sirius rubbed his palms together gleefully. “We’ll have to make the room stink something awful once they’re trapped inside.”

“Why does everything come back to dung bombs with you?” Remus shook his head. “Where’s your sense of style? Your sense of class?”

“I traded them in for these looks, what do you think?” 

“Firecrackers.” James was actually getting into this now. “As soon as they realize they’re trapped, we set them off, then when they’ve calmed down and have tried several ways to get out, we start playing the loudest, most obnoxious Muggle rock song we can think of, and then we just… don’t do anything else.”

“This better not be another lesson in Muggle psychology,” Sirius groaned.

“They’ll be on edge, waiting for something else to happen,” James continued. “And then, we send an anonymous tip to Frank and Alice to check the prefects’ bathroom. Then we have more fireworks _and_ the obnoxious rock song to cover the sounds of the sticking charms coming off —” They sounded very much like a long slurp. “— and then Alice and Frank will find them just sitting there, but the door’s not locked, the windows aren’t stuck anymore, have they gone mad? Who knows!” 

“And we know how Alice loves to talk! It’ll be all over the school by supper!” Peter nodded eagerly. “Prongs, you genius, you’ve done it again!”

“But then someone will have to miss the match to torment them,” Remus pointed out.

“I’ll do it,” James said quickly. “It was my idea.” And he wanted to find out what Snivellus was doing in the bathroom. It _had_ to be related to Riddle and Lucius’ pureblooded supremacy codswallop. 

“No, no, that would be suspect!” Sirius shook his head. “As would any of us missing from a Quidditch match, even you, Remus. We need someone who doesn’t usually go to these kinds of things. Someone who’s made it very clear that they have absolutely no interest in Quidditch whatsoever!” 

The first person to pop into James’ mind was Lily Evans, but he didn’t say it. For now, she wasn’t interested in getting involved and he’d like to keep it that way. 

“No one will think anything’s amiss if I fall ill a week before the match,” said James. “I’m doing it. I want to see the look on Snivellus’ face when he hears Zedd Lenin.”

“ _What?_ ” Remus laughed.

“Who?” Sirius was confused.

“Led Zeppelin,” Peter whispered the correction.

“Eh, tomato, tomahto.” James shrugged.

* * *

Everything went according to plan. James and Sirius used the secret passageway to get into Hogsmeade for fireworks, Peter ordered a Muggle sound system by post, and Remus put Unbreakable charms on all the windows and doors of the bathroom. 

A ‘sick’ James Potter and a ‘studying’ Lily Evans were the only ones left in the Gryffindor common room just before the match. 

He could feel her eyes on him, but she didn’t say a word, and he had not the slightest inkling as to what she might be thinking. 

There was still heavy traffic outside the prefects’ bathroom and Snape and Malfoy were still inside, but James had to move now to keep them there. 

“Well.” He stood, glancing at Lily. Her eyes were green, not light blue or gray like they sometimes seemed. He cleared his throat. “Er, I’m going up for a kip.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I’m not your mother, you don’t have to tell me.” 

“Er, right.” James did his best to look tired as he hobbled towards the stairs, but once he was out of her line of sight, he began to take them two at a time. 

He breezed through the common room in his invisibility cloak just in time to pass through the portrait hole right when Remus popped back in, telling Lily he needed an extra jumper. 

The fireworks had already been laid and disguised, so all James had to do was set them off and dash from the door to all seven windows, putting the sticking charms in place. But first, he muttered the password and opened the door just a crack. A faint blue smoke escaped and James recognized it immediately as the shade of the wolfsbane potion. He heard the clinking of galleons changing hands. 

“We’ll need more of these in time,” Malfoy was saying, “but first, are you familiar with the healing potion, Wiggenweld?”

“Of course!” Snape sounded insulted. 

“Good, we’ll need ten of those.” Malfoy’s voice moved towards the door.

It was time. 

“ _Incendio_ ,” James whispered to set off the fireworks. Then he stuck the door shut and bolted out into the courtyard. 

As he passed the colorful windows, he saw the two Slytherins fire off defensive spells left and right as the Marauders had aligned the fireworks’ trajectories to look like spells were being fired.

“Hold it, hold it!” Snape hissed. “ _Aguamenti!_ ” The fireworks stopped suddenly and the sound of James’ last sticking charm echoed across the tiles. 

Malfoy growled, pointing his wand at the door. “ _Bombardia!_ ”

“ _Reducto!_ ” Snape aimed at one of the windows. 

Both spells backfired, sending them sprawling across the floor. 

“Potter’s behind this!” Snape spat. “It’s his style. I _know_ it! And that sodding git would never be too sick for Quidditch! It’s _got_ to be him!”

James grinned gleefully, looking in through the windows unnoticed, as he was hidden by his cloak.

“I guess he’s not wrong,” said a voice from behind him. 

He froze and remained silent. 

For the moment, Malfoy and Snape were facing away from the windows, focusing their attention on the door, slipping bits of parchment out to try to get passersby’s attention, but everyone was at the match. 

“ _Rictusempra_ ,” whispered the voice behind him.

The spell hit him from behind and he clasped both hands over his mouth to prevent a laugh from bubbling up. 

“Why is Snape brewing wolfsbane for Malfoy, Potter?” Lily Evans came to stand beside him. “Is Malfoy a werewolf?”

James couldn’t hold it in anymore. He wheezed and choked and then the jinx faded away. From his hunched over position, he looked up at her, in her gray Hogwarts sweater, worn and far too small for her, her fiery hair whipping every which way in the wind. He couldn’t keep a secret from her if he tried. 

“Riddle,” said James. “Dumbledore told me he’s dangerous, but I shouldn’t say anything to anyone. He told me he was taking care of it.”

“And you, what? Didn’t believe him?” Lily crossed her arms. 

“Get under here before they see you.” James pulled her under the cloak with him. 

Lily swallowed, watching his adam’s apple bob as he did the same. It wasn’t that she was attracted to him or anything like most of the school was. She’d just never been this close to a boy before and she was a fifteen-year-old girl, how was she expected _not_ to blush?

“Er,” she licked her suddenly parched lips. James’ eyes were hazel, not brown like she’d thought. 

Said eyes flitted down to her lips briefly, maybe, or maybe he was looking down at the remote in his hands. When he hit play, the drums started. 

“Is… Is that Led Zeppelin?” That was not the most pertinent question to ask, but there she was asking it. 

James nodded, smiling wide. “Rock and Roll.”

Lily shook her head. “Potter, I already told you more than I should have about what Sev is trying to accomplish —”

“I told that to Dumbledore too and he’s tried to reach out to him, but —”

“You did _what?_ ” Lily shoved him hard, but he grabbed her shoulders to keep them hidden under the cloak, so they both fell onto the cobblestones, James on his back and Lily on top of him.

“Ow,” he groaned.

“I’m sorry!” Lily squeaked. Then frowned and hit him again. “Wait, no, I’m _not!_ I told you about Sev in the _strictest_ confidence and you went to _Dumbledore_ about it? You could’ve gotten him in some serious trouble!”

“Lily, this is bigger than my rivalry with him —”

“Is it, now?” she snarled.

“Whoever this Riddle guy is, he wants to keep Muggleborns out of Hogwarts, out of the Wizarding World!”

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you _dare_ pretend you’re doing this for me! You are _not_ my friend and —”

James put a hand over her mouth as Led Zeppelin stopped playing loud enough to cover their argument. 

A heavy silence fell between them. 

“I’m not doing this for you,” said James. That wasn’t quite true. “Not only you, anyway,” he clarified. “I’m doing this because it’s the right thing to do.”

On the other side of the courtyard, Alice and Frank walked arm in arm towards the corridor to the prefects’ bathrooms. Frank was wearing his new fedora. (He always had a new fedora, this one was a normal brown for once instead of peacock blue or seaweed green.)

“Huh, that didn’t take as long as usual.” He made to stand. “Er…”

Lily realized she was still on top of him. “Oh, sorry, I mean, I’m not, I mean, I’m mad at you and —”

“Say no more, Evans,” he sighed. “Say no more.” 

James hit play on the remote again and ‘Rock and Roll’ started up again. 

Lily got out from under the cloak and headed for Gryffindor Tower.

He removed his sticking charms from the windows and the door just as the song ended.

James opened the door a crack. “ _Incendio_.” 

One last round of fireworks went off, making the ‘trapped’ Slytherins jump. 

“ _Potter!_ ” Snape yelled. 

James shut the door just as Alice and Frank rounded the corner and opened it again. 

“What’s going on here?” Frank bellowed in his prefect’s voice. (He was usually very reserved.) “Is that aconite?”

“Who are you trying to poison, I wonder?” Alice narrowed her eyes. She’d heard Snape yelling from all the way down the corridor. 

“The doors were charmed stuck and so were the windows!” Snape growled. 

“It opened just fine for us." Frank pushed back the brim of his hat as he examined the door frame.

“Look!” Snape leveled his wand at the colorful mermaid window. “ _Diffindo!_ ”

“No! Sylvia!” Alice cried.

The mermaid’s eyes widened in terror as she smashed into a thousand pieces. 

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ” Malfoy disarmed Snape. “I was just writing him up for brewing in unsafe conditions, Longbottom, Fortescue. I know a simple _Reparo_ won’t bring Sylvia back, but I’m sure if we all explain what happened to Flitwick, he would be happy to make the proper repairs.”

Oh-ho! He was a slippery one, alright. James crossed his arms under his cloak. The Marauders would have to get creative to put Malfoy in his place.

Snape got detention polishing cauldrons in the dungeon until Christmas. James made a mental note of this, sure that it was just a cover for a secondary brewery location for the Wiggenwald. Ten wasn’t a large number necessarily, but ten skilled wizards with healing potions at their disposal spelled a targeted attack. 

He intercepted Dumbledore returning to the castle from the match and told him everything. “I’m sorry I went against your instructions to leave this alone, but I simply cannot, sir. One of my… friends —” Yes, he could consider Lily a friend, even if she did not feel the same way about him. “— I don’t want them to ever be ashamed of who they are, Headmaster. And I _definitely_ don’t want them to have to leave magic behind.” 

Much to his surprise, Dumbledore’s blue eyes were sparkling behind his half-moon spectacles. “It was my mistake to think you _would_ heed me, Mr. Potter. This information is valuable indeed and I thank you for passing it on to me. I will ensure we have eyes and ears on this cauldron storage room at all times and I encourage you to keep your distance so that we may gather more insight into the workings and plans of this organization.”

“Yes, sir,” James promised and he meant it, even though the thought of letting well enough alone again made his heart sink. 

Dumbledore smiled. “I might need your help again, Mr. Potter. So focus on your classes this year, particularly Defense and Charms. Transfiguration, I know, you’ve got well in hand. And get well soon.” 

“Oh,” James remembered to cough and sniff. “Yes, Headmaster. Thank you.” 

* * *

“You’re in luck, Prongs!” Sirius returned from the match in good spirits. “Bones wants someone to celebrate Hufflepuff’s win with.” He wiggled his eyebrows at James.

“I’m sick, remember?” James coughed for good measure. “And I think I’ve developed a headache.”

From her corner of the common room, Lily made a sound that sounded an awful lot like a scoff. 

“That’s too bad.” Amelia poked her head in through the open portrait hole. “I asked the house-elves to make a whole lot of treacle tart. There’s no way I’m going to finish it all by myself.”

“Lily loves treacle tarts.” James coughed again. That was a safe assumption to make, right? Who doesn’t like treacle? Unless she was allergic. Merlin, Avada him now. Nope, he wasn’t getting struck down by bolts of green light. Time to dig his heels in(to his grave). “And you two know each other from prefecting, right? You’ll have a great time for me, won’t you?” He faked a sneeze.

Amelia, to her credit, did not miss a beat. “Of course! You’ll come with us, won’t you Lily?” 

“Uh…” The redhead seemed surprised by the sudden turn of events.

Sirius was looking at James like he couldn’t _believe_ the sudden turn of events and there _better_ be a _bloody_ good explanation for the sudden turn of events!

“Sure, thank you… guys.” Lily looked from James, to Amelia, and even to Sirius because he was doing some kind of weird hand signalling thing at James, but James was just not having it. 

“Yay!” Mary MacDonald cheered, grabbing Lily’s hands and tugging her out the portrait hole. “We’re going to have a blast! Coming, Sirius?”

“In a minute, love.” He smiled prettily at her before whipping back around and scowling at his best friend.

“What?” James had the audacity to act like he didn’t know what he had done wrong. 

“Don’t _‘what’_ me, James Fleamont Potter!” Sirius snapped. 

“But you never turn down treacle tarts!” Even good ol’, dependable Peter wasn’t on his side this time.

“And what’ve you got going on with Evans?” asked Remus.

“There’s a thing going on with _Evans?_ ” Sirius wrinkled his aristocratic nose. “The girl who hates your guts and snubbed you on the train only to shake your hand in the Great Hall and then give you the cold shoulder in Potions when she finds out she can’t be partners with _Snivellus_ of all people, then she goes and —”

“I don’t need the entire history of our non-friendship since first year, thanks,” James muttered. “But given that history, clearly, nothing is going on with us. She just needs more friends than I do right now.”

“Are you daft?” was Sirius’ next question. “Bones wasn’t looking for a blooming _friend_ , Prongs! Did you see those bedroom eyes? That sly smile? That —”

“Do you mind if I give it a try, Mr. Padfoot?” Remus interrupted. 

“By all means, Mr. Moony!” Sirius threw up his hands. “If our boy dies alone, it’ll be on your head! I’ve washed my soul of this!”

“The saying is ‘washed my hands,’” Peter supplied.

Sirius crossed his arms, pouting like a child, before getting distracted by the new items in the common room junk drawer. “‘Soul’ is better.” 

“No, it isn’t.” The other three Marauders chorused. 

“Prongs,” began Remus. “I know Lily and she is… she is a good person and certainly one worth befriending, but she is also very stubborn. At a prefect meeting once, she argued enough against Filch’s absurd inclusion of Muggle walkmans and Elton John sunglasses on the list of banned items that he actually removed them from the list.”

“You’re joking!” Sirius whipped off his Elton John sunglasses (recently pilfered from the common room junk drawer). His look of surprise melted into one of grudging respect as he realized Remus was in fact _not_ joking. 

Remus continued speaking to James, “So, if you’re holding a flame for her —”

“Am _not!_ ” James protested. “We’re just friends! I mean, not friends! I mean — I don’t understand why you’ve all got your knickers in a twist about me and Evans when there is no _‘and’_ between me and Evans whatsoever!”

“We just want you to have a little fun, Prongs,” Peter spoke up quietly, "You've been stressed out ever since you got stuck in a broom cupboard with Evans after trying to get your cloak back from Filch, so we reckon it's got something to do with her."

James couldn't tell them what he was really stressed about. They'd want to do something rash. Something they could not afford to do as it would ruin Dumbledore's plans. So he hung his head. "You lot will laugh."

"No, we won't!" Peter said immediately.

"Eh." Sirius shrugged. The Elton John glasses were back on. "I can't make any guarantees, but you shouldn't care about the good opinion of a bloke with zero standards."

James smiled, knowing that his best friend truly did care, even if he couldn't find the words.

Remus silently, supportively, placed a scarred hand on James' shoulder. 

"Well… I…" James put on his most convincing look of desperation. "It's just… _everyone_ likes me! Alright, not everyone, but everyone with good taste and Evans has good taste, Snivvie aside, so why doesn't she like _me?_ "

The Marauders did laugh at his perceivably big head, and he breathed out a sigh of relief that they'd bought his ruse. 

"Oh, I think she'll come around, Prongs," Remus brushed the tears away from his eyes. "I saw the way she looked at you when you won the match for Gryffindor last week."

Something in James' chest lightened, hearing this. Maybe he did care about how Evans saw him more than he realized. Maybe he wasn't telling a _total_ lie. "Really, Moony?"

"Really," said Remus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Jily [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr!


	4. The Reading Nook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James is in love and Lily is in denial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the anon who sent in a puffer-fish emoji, hope you like it :)

"Alright, Evans?" James whispered, sliding into the reading nook beside her, the words, 'Will you go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?' on the tip of his tongue.

She looked at him like he should know better. "How can I be 'alright' when I'm helping you catch up, only you weren't even sick in the first place?"

Madam Pince called, "Shush!" from the front desk even though she couldn't see who was speaking a few measely decibels above total silence. 

James pursed his lips and phrased his follow-up question carefully. "Have you talked to Alice?"

"Yes." Lily jutted her chin out haughtily. "And that was a very mean trick to play on Sev. And the next time I have to do inter-house rounds with Malfoy — the _traitor_ to the badge — I can't guarantee he'll show up to class in the morning."

James was more concerned about Lily doing inter-house rounds with the likes of _Malfoy_ than he was about her potentially being sent to Azkaban for Murder One. "You've been doing inter-house rounds with _Malfoy?_ " he blanched.

"Not all the time, thankfully." Lily flipped through her Potions textbook, looking for the page she'd bookmarked when Slughorn had told her James was out sick and asked her to help him catch up. 

"But you have?" he pressed.

"What's it to you?" she narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm not divulging the prefects' schedules to you. I know better than that."

"No, it's not… It's _Malfoy_ , Evans. He doesn't even try to hide that he's… he's…"

"A bigot too big for his britches? Yeah, I think I noticed, thanks —"

"Is there anyone who checks to see you've made it back to the tower alright after your rounds? In case something happens or —"

Lily frowned. "I'm not entirely defenseless, you know." She twirled her wand in her hand.

"I know, but it never hurts to have friends. Colleagues. Back up. Whatever you want to call it," James mumbled.

Her expression softened. "Hey… What I said to you… the other day… about you not being my friend… I… I didn't mean it… You're a good person and a great friend from what I can tell… I just… don't agree with your methods all the time or your rationale, for that matter." She fidgeted madly with her fingers and James felt the urge to hold her wrists gently like Roger King and Maisie McGongall did with each other all the time, but he could only watch her sigh, "I don't know if that means we can't be friends or… whatever. But… I don't _not_ like you."

"I don't not like you either! I mean, I'm glad we're… yeah. Thank you, Lil—Evans…" He glanced at her nervously over the wire-rims of his glasses to see if she noticed his slip-up.

She had. "You... can call me Lily." She tucked a stray tendril of red hair behind her ear. 

"James." He proffered his hand, unable to keep a lopsided grin off his face.

It was like a First-Year do-over when she shook it. Or maybe he was reading too much into it. Merlin, _why was he still holding her hand and moving it up and down like a five-year-old who just discovered his new favorite toy?_

"Heh." He pulled back his hand, which immediately made itself at home, scratching the back of his neck.

Lily was giving his arm a weird sort of look, so he took it down. 

In fact, she was admiring the way he rolled up his shirtsleeves. Just the shirtsleeves, not his actual Quidditch-fit throwing arm or anything. He managed to get them at an even length to each other and they were neatly folded, not bunched up either. She liked a tidy person. Not that she liked him. At all. But she could tutor him. Which was what she was there to do. Yes.

"Er… Shall we?" He gestured to her Potions book. Some Gryffindor he was. That would've been the perfect opportunity to ask her out.

She jumped in her seat, squeaking, "Yes!"

From the front desk, Madam Pince called, " _Shh!_ " 

Lily narrowed her eyes in the librarian's general direction.

James leaned in and whispered in Lily's ear, "You know, I heard she prefers the Muggle false teeth because she's allergic to one of the components of Skele-gro --"

"It's probably the puffer-fish." Lily could barely breathe for how close James was, but it wasn't James, it was just because he was a boy and she was a girl and they were teenagers. It was only natural. It didn't mean anything. 

"I'll take your word for it. But I also heard that when she's not eating nor with company, she takes out those false teeth —"

"Dentures," Lily supplied, sure that her cheeks were beet-red now. Why did she keep interrupting him? Just let him get to the point so he'd give her back her personal space already! Did she not want him to? 

"Thank you." James sensed her discomfort and leaned back, raising his arms and interlocking his fingers behind his head in an attempt to make his move look natural. "Anyway, just picture her shushing us right now with no dentures, those crazed, beady eyes, and a whole lot of spittle."

Lily couldn't help it, she guffawed at the image of the stern librarian in such an undignified state. Pince had always rather scared her with her long neck and pinched face that reminded her of Petunia in a rage.

Madam Pince was shushing loudly now and that only set her off even more. 

Eventually, she settled down enough to say, "You're going to get me in trouble, Potte—James."

He thought of saying something witty like, 'I'd much rather you go to Hogsmeade with me instead.' But that was bound to come off as arrogant to Lily and she'd bring that dreaded Potions book down on his head to teach him not to use such pickup lines on her again. 

"Sorry," he said instead, smiling at his shoes, then hers. She had really nice shoes. Out of style, perhaps, but highly polished. He especially appreciated people who took pride in personal tidiness after over four years of dorming with the Marauders. "Lily…"

"Mm-hmm?" she hummed, spreading her notes out for him as well.

"Will you… go to Hogsmeade... with me... this weekend?" He paused often to give himself time to backtrack or sidetrack in case she didn't like where this was going.

But she just kept looking at him with those big green eyes and pretty pink lips slightly parted. 

Then she thwacked him over the head — with her notes, not her textbook, luckily. "Get Remus to tutor you. What made you think I wanted you to ask me that? I don't like you! I don't like you like that! Ugh! Why did you have to go and — Look, I just… I can't be around you right now. I don't want a boyfriend —"

"It's just Hogsmeade!" James finally found his voice again.

"Honestly, that makes it even worse." She packed her bag quickly and left him in the lonely reading nook.

Lily would _not_ — could _not_ — become her sister. And she feared that was who she would become if she let a boy into her life. He'd make her the center of his world and if he didn't, she would feel like he _should_. Then she would become mean to any girl who so much as looked at him. She would be selfish with her time so she could spend it all with him. And it would all be for nothing. James had said so himself. It was just Hogsmeade. It didn't mean anything.

No, she would not become her sister. And she would _not_ — could _not_ — like James Potter that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me matchmaking these two in different AUs [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr :)


	5. Treacle Tarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a house-elf named Stinky has a better love life than James "Fleabag" Potter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Katie and her cookie emoji and for Melina and her chicken nugget cravings xx

James reached out and tickled the pear. 

“Tee-hee-hee!” It giggled cheerily and morphed into a door handle. 

James let himself into the always-bustling Hogwarts kitchens. 

Mealtimes were not as highly attended towards the middle of the term. Some professors hosted lunch-time office hours, some clubs, in their effort to accommodate more students’ schedules, also ran during lunch hour, and some students, like Lily Evans, James was beginning to notice, elected to skip meals altogether and simply snack throughout the day in an effort to get more done.

So the elves were always busy, delivering meals to dorms, common rooms, club meetings, office hours, prefects’ meetings — everywhere.

“Master Potter, hello!” said a young elf with the unfortunate name of ‘Stinky.’ (It did not mean in elvish what it did to humans. In fact, it meant ‘of great renown.’)

“Hello, Stinky, it’s always a pleasure!” James knew a lot of unfortunate names. His own middle name was ‘Fleamont’ and despite his best efforts (or worst, depending on how one views his decision to befriend Sirius Black), _everyone_ in the castle knew it. Up until he made a new name for himself through Quidditch last year, his nicknames had included, ‘Fleabag,’ ‘Itchy-flea,’ ‘lice boy,’ et cetera.

“Master Potter really does not have to come down every time he wants a treacle tart, Master Potter!” Stinky shook his head, ears flapping against his cheeks.

“Oh, I just happened to be by.” James shrugged. “But I don’t want a treacle tart for me this time. I want some for… a friend.” 

Stinky smiled knowingly. “ _Oh_ , and would this friend happen to be a girl with red hair, green eyes, always wants chicken nuggets —”

“What’s a chicken nugget?” asked James curiously. 

“So it _is_ Mistress Evans!” Stinky cheered. “Mistress Evans will _love_ the treacle tarts Master Potter has asked to be made for her! Only… Mistress Evans is not very happy with Master Potter at the moment, is she?” 

James sighed, shoulders slumping. “No, she isn’t… but I’m hoping to bribe my way back into her good graces with baked goods. At least to start. Do you think it’ll work?” 

Stinky tapped his chin thoughtfully, then he snapped his fingers excitedly, an apron materializing on James’ person. “Master Potter should bake Mistress Evans’ treacle tarts himself!”

James’ eyes widened in horror as he flashed back to all the times his mum had asked for his help in the kitchen only to shoo him out again just as quickly for burning something or another. “Er, heh, I don’t think that’s a very good idea, Stinky —”

“Yes, Master Potter is right, of course.” Stinky nodded rapidly. 

James breathed a sigh of relief.

“It is a very _great_ idea!” Stinky cleared one of the wooden counters with a snap of his fingers and with another snap, all the necessary ingredients materialized. 

James cringed but made it look like a smile. It’s not like he had the first idea about wooing a girl anyway. Stinky probably had more experience than him if the flower crowns on his head were any indication. (Elves would give flower crowns to other elves they liked and if two elves received flower crowns from each other, they would begin a private courtship ritual that humans still don’t know about. Thank you, Hagrid, for that enlightening Care of Magical Creatures guest lecture.)

The first task Stinky gave him was to knead the dough. That went simply enough, even though James ended up covered in flour. The second task was to take a round cutter to the dough, which also wasn’t very hard. 

James started to gain some confidence. Maybe a little too much confidence. He molded the tart shells quickly. Maybe a little too quickly.

“Er... Stinky…” Maybe he should’ve stuck with something simpler. Like cookies. 

The elf frowned at the lopsided tart shells, trying to think of something positive to say about them. “They’re… They’re there. And you tried your best. And that’s what counts!” He snapped his fingers and they magically evened out. “Now, it’s time to make the filling!”

It was much easier to just put stuff in a bowl and mix. James made a mental note to tell his mum she should try putting him in charge of the pies instead of the turkey next Christmas. He poured the mix into the tart shells and put them in the oven with Stinky looking over his shoulder to make sure he set the timer right. 

“Stinky must leave for a moment to make meal deliveries, Master Potter,” said the elf. “Make sure to watch the timer!”

Suddenly, an idea occurred to James. “Hey, do you ever make deliveries to Severus Snape or Lucius Malfoy?”

“Stinky does not, but Minty does. Stinky will fetch Minty for Master Potter?” 

“Yes, please, thank you.” 

Stinky bowed low and disapparated with a snap of his fingers. 

A second later, another elf appeared. “Master Potter requested Minty’s presence, sir?”

“Yes, hello,” James wondered just how far he could go with this without explicitly getting involved like Dumbledore had asked him not to. “You make meal deliveries to Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy?”

“And the rest of Slytherin house, yes.” Minty squinted up at him. “Minty has heard of Master Potter and his friends. Minty will not be participating in any sort of mischief —”

“No, no mischief, Minty.” James put his hands up. “I was just wondering if you heard anything while you were with them?” He knew a pureblooded elitist like Malfoy was bound to talk as though the elf were not in the room. 

“With all due respect, Mr. Potter, that does not sound like ‘no mischief’ to Minty,” she said. She wasn’t wrong. 

"I just… There's this friend of mine, Minty, Lily Evans, and I'm really worried about her going on rounds with Malfoy. He and Snape are planning something wherever they are. Something dangerous and I just want to make sure she's not the target."

The elf's expression softened. "Minty has not heard them mention your friend Mistress Evans, Master Potter."

"And…" James hesitated. "No reference to Snape's Muggleborn or… or," he made a face, "mudblood friend?"

Minty frowned. "There… was mention, but not in relation to harming her, sir."

"What was it in relation to?" James pressed.

"Master Snape's, er, attraction to Mistress Evans, sir."

"Ah," James swallowed his disgust. "Thank you, Minty."

" _Master Potter!_ " Stinky shrieked, materializing out of thin air. " _The treacle tarts!_ "

" _Merlin's cruddy, bloody, sodding beard!_ " James jammed the oven mitts on and yanked out the smoking tray.

"They're... a little darker than they're supposed to be," said Stinky, popping one into his mouth. "But they still taste good!"

James put the tarts on a platter and thanked Stinky profusely for his help.

"I hope you and Mistress Evans have a lovely courtship, Master Potter." He bowed low and vanished before James could correct him.

Lily was holding open office hours in the prefects' lounge-slash-kitchen-slash-mini-library. They were meant for students to air their concerns about elective selection, exams, bullying, et cetera. But most of the time, students were just there to lobby against whatever unjust detention slip they might've been served by another prefect. Fifth-year prefects were considered the soft targets because they were the youngest, but while even Remus could be bribed with chocolate and a general display of nerdiness, Lily had quickly developed a reputation for being the mini-Minnie. Her office hours were always dead quiet. 

James switched on Peter's walkman, charmed so it could play whatever song was on the cassette like one were hearing it live in a stadium. 

_Sugar, oh, honey, honey_

_You are my candy girl!_

"I'm sorry," said two voices as one.

To James' surprise, Lily was standing on the other side of the door with a platter of treacle tarts as well. 

"I didn't mean it when I said I didn't like you," said Lily in a rush. "I do want us to be friends, even though I'm not sure I even came right out and said it. And I'm sorry I hit you with my notes. That was childish and you didn't deserve that. I should've let you down easier."

"You… You made me treacle tarts?" James was sure there were hearts in his eyes, but he didn't care. _She made him treacle tarts_ . _They were his absolute favorite._

"Only to make up for the ones I ate with Amelia that were meant for you! And to make up for refusing to help you catch up when I promised I would. Remus said you're on track now, which is good. I'm glad."

"I…" James extended his own platter towards her. "I made you treacle tarts too. To apologize for… the collateral damage in the prefects' bathroom and for coming onto you when you didn't want it..."

_Honey, oh, sugar, sugar…_

Lily raised an eyebrow at the walkman. "And the song is just…?"

"To set the mood! No one can _bee_ angry when they're listening to The Archers."

Lily laughed. "It's The Archies."

"Oh, my bad. I guess I should _bee_ more observant."

"Don't strain yourself." She popped a treacle tart into her mouth. "You might need to get new glasses."

"You're really not going to let me _bee_ funny?" James wiggled his eyebrows, hoping to get her to acknowledge his puns.

Lily shook her head, fighting to keep a smile off her face. "Buzz off, Potter, before you embarrass yourself with another bad pun."

"Yours was worse!" he protested, grinning as she shut the office door on him.

Around the corner, one third year asked another, "Okay, she's buttered up with treacle tarts, do you think she'll let us off the hook for turning Mrs. Norris into a stuffie?" 

"I think we're still better off waiting for Amelia's shift. She has a better sense of humor."

"How do you know?"

"She would've laughed at the bee puns."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments? By leaving kudos? By sending me an emoji on Tumblr @littlejeanniebean?
> 
> Thanks for reading! xx


	6. The Deerest Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone takes the "forbidden" in "Forbidden Forest" to be more of a recommendation than a rule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There are some descriptions of being gaslighted in this chapter, so if you're triggered by that, please prioritize your mental health, loves! I promise I won't mind if you skip this one, you mean more to me than that xx
> 
> This one's for Bella and her purple heart emojis :)

It was about a week to the full moon and Remus wasn’t feeling well. 

The boys decided a romp around the Forbidden Forest would cheer him up. 

Sirius transformed and dashed into the thicket. By the time Remus, and James as a stag, caught up to him, he was sneezing up a storm. 

“Tradescantia pallida.” Remus pointed at the three blooms at James’ hooved feet. “Purple heart. Dogs are allergic.” 

As a mouse, Peter nestled himself further into Remus’ sweatered shoulder. 

The quiet of the woods calmed Remus. It wasn’t total silence. There were little insects chittering, birds calling on occasion, and the sound of autumn leaves crunching underfoot. 

It helped remind him that nature could be beautiful, even though the nature that lived inside him was about to tear him apart. He could come back together again. He did it all the time. And he never did it alone.

Suddenly, Sirius’ ears perked up and James’ long neck gracefully turned. 

“What is it, Padfoot? Prongs?” Remus looked around. 

Sirius lowered his nose to the ground and began sniffing. James overcame his herbivore’s instincts to run and stomped the mulchy ground. 

“Sugar, oh, honey, honey,” a female voice was singing.

Curious, James ventured forward in the same direction as Sirius, who was now completely out of sight. 

“You are my candy gir— _Whoa!_ ” A blur of red hair and blue bell-bottomed jeans tumbled over a large root and sprawled across the middle of a clearing.

James leaped around quickly, but to his deer-brained horror, Remus and Peter were no longer visible either. He leaped back around and actually registered that the mystery singer was Lily Evans. The headphones of her walkman had been knocked off her head. 

“Oh,” she gasped, looking up at him, his antlers casting pretty shadows across her creamy cheeks. “Wow. You’re beautiful.”

 _So are you,_ he wanted to say, but he was a bloody deer at the moment, so he just bowed. 

Lily giggled. “And so polite too.” She curtseyed. “I’m Lily.” She extended her hand tentatively.

James moved towards it eagerly before remembering to act like a real deer and hesitated for a good (torturous) five seconds. Then he reveled in nuzzling his face against it. _Her fingers were so soft._

Hiding behind a clump of trees nearby were Sirius, Remus, and Peter, all in their human form for better vision.

Remus was even munching on a bar of chocolate as he often did when something interesting was going on and his mouth was just itching to _do something_. Sirius said he got the same urges as Padfoot, so it must be a canine thing. 

“Do you think Mary would pet me like that if I —”

“Don’t even think about it, Padfoot,” Remus said sternly. “Dogs aren’t on the list of pets allowed at Hogwarts.”

Sirius huffed. “That’s discrimination!”

“Shh!” hissed Peter. “She’s feeding him treacle tarts!”

“Aww,” cooed the Marauders. 

Lily sat down in the middle of the clearing. 

James came alongside so he was facing the same direction she was. 

“Can I tell you something... _deer?_ ” she giggled at her own pun.

James huffed, affronted. So she _did_ enjoy puns! Yet she’d made a concerted effort not to laugh at his. 

Lily took his huff as a ‘yes,’ however, and said, “I can’t believe the term’s already half over. I feel like… I feel like I’m running out of time.”

Behind the clump of trees, Remus, ever the insightful, courteous one, beckoned the other two Marauders away to give them some privacy. 

“It’s not like he’s being very polite, so why should we be?” Sirius tried to argue. “He’s letting her spill her secrets to him when she doesn’t know it’s him she’s spilling her secrets to!”

“Better him than Snape,” shuddered Peter, who was slightly afraid of when the Slytherin might decide to retaliate for the bathroom prank. 

“Exactly,” Remus agreed. “James wasn’t wrong when he said Lily needs friends right now.”

Back in the clearing, James was snuggling the top of Lily’s head, partly in an effort to make her feel better and partly to persuade her to explain what she meant by ‘running out of time.’

“Alright, alright, my parents want me home for Christmas,” she sighed, drawing her knees up and resting her chin against them. “I know, how sad for Lily, right? It’s just… I don’t… get along with my sister.”

James had heard that Lily had a sister, a Muggle. It wasn’t uncommon for only one sibling, if any, to be magical in a Muggle family. But he hadn’t the first idea about the nature of their relationship.

“She hates what I am. Tells me and everyone she knows that I’m crazy and that the magic I can do is not real because I can’t do it around her because of the statute and… I swear, sometimes I _do_ feel insane. And I _do_ feel like maybe all this a dream, some fantasy I’ve managed to concoct for myself and in reality, I’m locked up somewhere in a white room and I should be glad that they even let me come home sometimes…”

 _How come her parents don’t do anything about it?_ James wanted to ask. _How could they not know what their own daughter was going through?_

“No one ever brings it up to my parents, obviously,” Lily continued like she could read his mind, “because as a polite Briton, you don’t ask after the crazy daughter, you ask about the one with the boyfriend, the one who’s about to graduate sixth form, the one —” Lily bit her lip fiercely. “The one who’s got friends and a life and… and I don’t want to bring it up to them because they’re having their own issues right now, so...” She took a deep, steadying breath. “So usually, I never go back until I have to in the summer... but McGonagall let slip at the last parent-teacher meeting that there would be no new lessons over the break and that I’d read every extra-curricular book in the library... so I have no more excuses…”

James couldn’t imagine not wanting to go home for Christmas. He, Sirius, and his parents would have a feast for brunch and then Peter and Remus and their family would come over for presents and dinner. It was one of his favorite times of the year.

Lily smiled up at him and cuddled his furry neck. “Thank you for listening. You are the _deerest_ thing.” She giggled lightly. “I feel a lot better now.”

Lily stood and picked the grass off her clothes and hair in no particular hurry at all. Occasionally, she would smile at him, James the deer, as he stood there and watched her. 

He tried to do normal deer things so as not to arouse suspicion as to why he was standing there just staring at her like a literal deer in the headlights. He ate grass, even though his human tastebuds still hated it, and scratched his rump against a tree — that made her laugh. 

“So long for now, deerest.” Lily put her headphones back on and continued singing as she walked back towards the castle, “Honey, oh, sugar, sugar…”

James galloped through the forest in search of his friends. He had half a term to come up with a way to make Lily’s Christmas away from Hogwarts the holliest, jolliest one it could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment? Leave some kudos? Leave me smiling? :))
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @littlejeanniebean just chillin' and taking emoji prompt requests <3


	7. And Then He Kissed Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adventures in Babysitting geese and swans...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In denial but out of necessity, they must kiss? You're welcome.

After midterms, everything sank to the bottom of the cauldron, fell off the broom, got misdirected in the floo — In short, everything went to absolute crap as far as students being able to lead some semblance of a balanced lifestyle. Yet, between his core classes and electives of Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, and Ancient Runes — not to mention the grueling Quidditch schedule in preparation for the match against Hufflepuff — James managed to find time to transfigure a fallen branch of the Whomping Willow into a gently swaying pear tree, time the conjuring of the partridge so that it happened _after_ the box was opened and not a moment before, time the transfiguration of two feathers into two full-fledged turtle doves, and so on as the song goes. 

It was already December 1st and he still had several more presents to get through. Timing had never been James’ strongest suit. 

There were numerous trials and errors, which was fine when it was just small birds like turtle doves and partridges. But when he opened the door of the 5th year dorm in Gryffindor tower, hoping for a short kip after an early morning Quidditch practice, he was attacked by seven swans, still covered in gold dust from their eggshells. The six pillows that had been piled in a corner of the room had transfigured into geese almost a month ahead of time — James later discovered he'd made a mistake converting from Roman to Georgian calendars — and had laid their golden eggs, which had, evidently, hatched.

" _Oi!_ James!" Alice yelled from downstairs in the Gryffindor common room. "I love a holiday tune as much as the next fellow, but for the love of _Merlin,_ please get these birds — No! Peter, don't open the —"

Too late, Peter, who was returning from a late breakfast entered the common room and the birds escaped. 

James tore down the stairs, leaped over the couch, and barrelled out the portrait hole. He'd gotten stuck (read: almost plummeted to his death) on the Grand Staircase when the stairs moved him ages away from where he'd needed to be, but luckily, he wasn't entirely an idiot and had added the birds' biological signatures to the map, just in case he lost them.

He sped through the corridor that led to the Herbology greenhouses until he felt something cinch around his waist and knock him straight into the nearest human being, Lily Evans.

"Oof!" Her books thumped onto the floor, pages fluttering.

"Sorry!" James winced and reached down to pick them up, but whatever invisible force was holding him there wouldn't let him. Immediately, he looked up. "Oh, come on, a _three-berry?_ _Really?_ " 

At seeing his exasperated expression, Lily's own annoyance gave way to an unexplainable sadness. She didn't want to kiss him either, but she had to get to Professor Sprout's office hours before they ended and she couldn't wait three hours for the mistletoe to release its hold. They only had to kiss for three seconds. That wasn't such a big ask, was it? She and James were on friendly terms now after their treacle tart exchange. He wouldn't mind kissing her that much, would he?

While all this was running through Lily's mind, all James could hear was the nearing honking of geese. Lily's Christmas present was about to be spoiled if she was here when they arrived. He had to herd them back to the Tower immediately. 

He looked down at her, lively sparks in his hazel eyes, and his strong Quidditch-fit hands held her shoulders firmly but gently as though to help steady them both. 

"I don't have the luxury of waiting three hours," her voice came out thin as she tilted her chin up to him. 

"Neither do I. Apologies, Lily." He leaned in, closed his eyes, and kissed her.

Lily's green eyes were blown wide in surprise and something else, something warm and tingly, just as a first kiss should feel. 

_One Mississippi._

His lips were soft and warm and Lily worried hers were chapped from cutting through the massive courtyard in the blustery winter. 

_Two Mississippi._

James really hoped his glasses wouldn't slide down his nose and hit her in the face. He should've taken them off first maybe.

_Three Mississippi._

The cinch around Lily's waist began to loosen, but with the tight, excited coil in her stomach, she didn't register it.

_Four Mississippi._

James thought she was the best kisser in the world, even though the one book of hers she'd managed to hold on to was digging into his abdomen and her lips were chapped from the cold. 

_Five Mississippi._

" _Incendio! Diffindo! Depulso!_ " a low, vicious voice made them both jump away from each other, wands raised.

The mistletoe above their heads was torn up, burnt to ash, and banished.

"Sev!" Lily blinked in surprise.

"Snape." James set his jaw.

"Are you alright, Lily?" Snape towered over her, frowning in a way that could be either angry or concerned, probably both.

"I — I —" Lily looked to James for help as though she'd been confunded.

Snape whirled around as well. "I shall be reporting your harassment of her to the prefects and professors, Potter!"

"Harassment!" James exclaimed. "Why you —"

At this, Lily seemed to snap out of whatever stupor their kiss had put her in. "We both knew we had to otherwise we wouldn't make our respective appointments in time, right, James?"

"Yes!" James agreed, although he didn't believe he owed Snape of all people an explanation for anything. "And we couldn't destroy it because… because…"

"Because of the nargles," said Lily, backing towards the greenhouses. "They're microscopic Muggle creatures that live in mistletoe. So, Sev, please don't destroy anymore of them. While they multiply quickly, every life is precious." 

She disappeared around the corner with a quick wave. 

While Snape was distracted by her, James ran in the direction of the honking geese.

He banished them back to the dorms, but he had to trudge back up the Grand Staircase for his book bag anyway. He had History of Magic class in fifteen minutes. 

"Oi, Pete!" James met his fellow Marauder in the common room.

"I'm so sorry, Prongs! I should've been paying closer attention —"

"Don't sweat it, Wormy." He couldn't help but smile widely. "Everything happens for a reason. Hey, do you know what nargles are by any chance? Lily said they're microscopic Muggle creatures that live in mistletoe, multiply quickly?"

"Er..." Peter scratched his head. "I mean, I'm not a specialist, but I'd never heard of them. Moony?"

"Hmm?" Remus looked up from his Arithmancy homework. 

Peter repeated James' question.

Remus frowned. "I think… I think Lily might've been having you on, Prongs. Did you need it for the Herbology essay?"

"Huh? Oh, no! Lily wouldn't lie to me if that's what it was for, and she wasn't even lying to _me_ about it." James could scarcely contain his giddiness. 

Lily didn't destroy the mistletoe and kiss him for what had _definitely_ been longer than three seconds because she hadn't wanted to destroy a colony of nargles! She didn't destroy the mistletoe because _she had wanted to kiss him!_ There was _hope!_ There was _joy!_ There were good tidings all around! 

James didn't even want the latest Cleansweep for Christmas anymore. He'd just gotten the best present a fifteen-year-old boy could ever receive — a kiss from the girl he was in love with.

 _Wait a minute!_ The girl he was _in love_ with? He knew he liked Lily a lot, certainly, but _love?_

After their treacle tart exchange, after her encounter with him as a deer, and after she'd defended him against Snape, yes. He was most certainly in love with this girl.

Before Remus or Peter could ask James about the way his face turned from confused, to even more confused, to an almost maniacally ear-splitting grin, Sirius tumbled down the stairs with four of the geese, two of the baby swans, and a whole flurry of feathers. 

" _Prongs!_ " he bellowed. "I better have a bloody good present this year for putting up with this sh—"

From her study-corner, Alice jiggled the swear jar so the knuts and sickles in it clinked together loudly in warning.

Sirius banished the birds into the dorm again with an irritated huff. 

"I always deliver, don't I, Pads?" James threw an arm over his best friend's shoulder.

Sirius rolled his eyes, but he ruffled James' hair with his other hand, which meant they were alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, lovelies! xx


	8. It's a Magical Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY WITCHES!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @comaraudery on Tumblr, your owl has arrived ;)

When Lily crossed over to the Muggle side of Platform 9 ¾, she immediately scanned the station for any sign of her parents, but there was only a bored-looking blonde, not much older than her, with her nose in a magazine and her legs crossed at such an angle that prevented anyone on sitting on the bench beside her. 

Lily took a deep breath and started towards her. 

“Evans!” a jolly voice called.

Both girls looked in that direction.

“Potter.” Lily smiled shyly. 

They hadn’t really spoken properly since their kiss, although after Severus had tried to disprove her nargle nonsense, an obscure journal published a paper co-authored by F. Potter and X. Lovegood, claiming to have discovered such a creature. 

Newt Scamander had spoken to the Daily Prophet about it, calling it a load of tosh, but still, other magizoologists were on Fleamont Potter’s side.

“How did you manage to convince your father to write such a ridiculous article?” she’d asked him when he’d showed her the article, giggling like he’d been hit with _Rictusempra_.

James had gasped in faux alarm, hands flying into his mussed hair. “You mean to say nargles _aren’t_ real?” 

Lily couldn’t help but laugh. “You really shouldn’t have! What’ll happen to his reputation?”

“Oh, he’s been looking to have something other than Sleekeazy to his name for _years_ . Trust me, he appreciates a well-thought-out practical joke even better than me. Besides, he might not have discovered ‘nargles’ as you described them, but there’s definitely _something_ alive in those plants at least some of the time.” 

She’d raised a curious eyebrow and asked to keep the journal. He’d let her, of course.

Now, James nodded in the direction of the blonde surreptitiously watching them over the top of her magazine. “Is that your sister? Mind if I go say hi? Now that we’re friends and all.”

“Oh…” Lily hesitated. “Um… She…”

James was already walking his luggage cart in that direction. “Hello, Ms. Evans. I’m James, one of Lily’s friends from Hogwarts.”

“This is Petunia,” Lily cut in nervously. “She’s a senior at —”

“Please don’t tell your freakish friend where I go to school, for crying out loud!” Petunia snapped. “Do you want me to be stalked into an alley? Robbed? _Murdered?_ ”

James frowned. “I happen to belong to a very respectable family, Ms. Evans —”

“You sound like a Scotsman,” Petunia sniffed derisively. 

“Oh!” James practically yelled in a very exaggerated version of his usual accent. “Before I forget, Lily…” He handed her a gift-wrapped box about the size of one and a half footballs. “Happy Christmas. Feel free to open it today. In fact, definitely open it today. Promise?”

“James…” she gasped. “But I… I didn’t get you anyth—”

“You give me _everything_ ,” he said, smiling softly. “What I mean is… You… Your friendship means a lot to me, Lily. Thank you for trusting me with it this term.”

Before she quite knew what she was doing, Lily threw her arms around his neck in a tight embrace. She’d exchanged presents with the girls while on the train like always, chocolate frog cards, Gobstones, stationery, little affordable things that they knew could not go wrong as presents. But here he was with an actual gift, something he put thought and heart into and all because they’d found some semblance of friendship this term. Lily got the sinking feeling she’d been seriously misjudging him all along. 

“Thank you so much,” she whispered into his shoulder. “I… _I’m_ the one who should be glad to be your friend. I realize that now. Thank you for… for not giving up on me.”

“We’re both very stubborn, I think.” James chuckled. “But you know what? I’d rather have something in common with you than not.”

Lily giggled and released him. “Happy Christmas, James.”

At this point, Petunia shoved herself between them and thrust the car keys at Lily. “Put your stuff in the trunk. I need to use the bathroom.”

“Alright,” Lily mumbled. “Bye, James!”

“See you soon,” he winked. 

Lily turned away quickly as she felt her cheeks heat up. 

Before Petunia could get very far away, James caught up to her, twirling his wand in one hand flamboyantly. He cast her a sideways glance and saw her eyes widen in shock as she looked around to see if anyone noticed that he was perhaps not a normal fifteen-year-old boy. 

“Oh, yes,” he said with all the appearance of affected casualty. “You see, being of a respectable, pureblooded wizarding family means I get to play by different rules than your sister does while I’m out of school.” It was a blatant lie, but Petunia didn’t need to know that. 

The blonde opened her mouth to scream.

“ _Silencio_ ,” James murmured. “No talking. Just listen. She is my friend. And I have ways, magical ways, to make sure that she’s alright. If you harm her, physically, emotionally, I will know and I can’t promise I will be very level-headed when deciding what to do then. Are we clear?”

Petunia nodded quickly, a panicked fear in her eyes. 

“Brilliant,” James grinned widely, then seemed to vanish into thin air along with his luggage cart. 

Petunia found her voice again but knew better than to go to a constable or security guard telling them that a strange man had threatened her with a magic stick. She’d just get herself checked into the asylum that way. So she went to the bathroom and collected herself before heading out to the car.

“Where’s Mum and Dad?” asked Lily, buckling herself up in the passenger seat because Petunia’s road rage was going to lead to an accident one of these days.

“In Ireland,” Petunia answered shortly. 

Lily’s eyes widened. “ _Ireland?_ ” But they were the entire reason she’d come home at all. There was no way that she could get back to Hogwarts now. The train would remain at the station until the New Year. 

“Yes, are you going deaf now, as well as crazy?” Petunia rolled her eyes. “They might’ve asked me to write to you, but I know you wouldn’t want me to get bird flu and have to call social services to come and take care of you because then they’d never let you go to your freak school to see your freak friends. They’d lock you up, the danger to society that you are —”

The present Lily had gotten from James vibrated intensely as Lily’s eyes began to go glassy with tears and Petunia remembered James’ threat. She put the car in gear and drove them home in stony, resentful silence.

As they parked in the driveway of Number 4, Lily asked, “When is the operation?” 

“It’s on the calendar,” Petunia answered dismissively and let herself into the house.

Lily hurried to get all her luggage and her present inside before Petunia locked her out. 

The next day was blocked off on the calendar as the operation date. The remaining eleven days of the winter holiday were blocked off as the recovery period. Lily wouldn’t see her parents until the summer.

The slam of Petunia’s bedroom door made her jump. Lily made herself a sandwich and took her things up to her room, where she examined the gift box. It wasn’t vibrating anymore. 

She untied the bow and lifted the cover just a pinch, penlight held between her lips. 

It was an adorable little bonsai tree. Her heart did a little fluttery dance at how cute it was. She lifted the lid and as soon as the sunlight hit it, a single miniature flower bloomed. 

There hadn’t been magic in this house since McGonagall had visited when she was eleven years old to tell her that she was going to Hogwarts. That summer had been rough for Lily. They’d just moved to Little Whinging, which was a better neighborhood than Cokeworth overall, but she had not been looking forward to starting at a new school without Severus. So to finally hear about Hogwarts had sent her over the moon.

Lily smiled and her happy tears fell freely onto the vibrant leaves.

At this, the flower morphed into a pretty green and yellow pear. 

Lily’s eyes widened. This was far more intricate magic than could be bought at a Herbology hobby store.

Carefully, she took the plant out of the box and placed it on her desk before watering it properly. Two more flowers bloomed.

That night, Lily went to sleep smiling. 

As soon as she awoke, she checked on her magical bonsai tree to make sure it was still there. She frowned at the pear, now brown all over. Of course, fruits, even magical ones, went bad if you didn’t pick them on time. She shouldn’t feel so bad about it. She plucked it off the tree and to her surprise, it sprouted feathers and a beak and tiny little legs. 

“A partridge!” she exclaimed. “James Potter, you… you wizard!” She laughed. 

Just then, there was a light tapping at her window. 

Lily threw her curtains open. An owl. She’d never gotten an owl before, not even from her dormmates, even though they’d always promised to stay in touch. Being a polite Briton, of course, Lily had never brought it up when they reunited as though nothing had happened. 

“Hello, there.” She let him in and he dropped a letter onto her desk. It was addressed as precisely as her Hogwarts letter had been:

_Ms. Lily Evans_

_Second bedroom_

_4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey_

“Hold on,” she said to the owl. “Let me get you something to eat.” 

He just pecked at the letter insistently, as though demanding that she read it first, so she did. Besides the parchment, there were two snow-white feathers. 

_Dear Lily,_

_Our capable messenger is named Billywiggenhall, ‘Billy’ for short. He likes long flights, pats on the head, and bread. He already knows all about you, so consider that introduction well made._

_I hope you opened your present, if not, what are you waiting for? I would have given an arm and a leg to be explicitly_ _told_ _to open my presents early. I hope you like it. You should know that everything is edible at any stage, so in case you ingested anything, you’re fine (except the pot and the box and I wouldn’t eat the soil either). I probably should have explained that in a note or something, but I wanted to surprise you. That was really stupid logic. Really stupid of me. You can't be pleasantly surprised if you're panicking. Sorry if I caused you any anxiety instead, that was not my intent._

 _Anyway_ _, leave the feathers in the box and close it tight._

_Your friend,_

_James_

Lily did as he instructed, then tiptoed downstairs to get bread for Billywiggenhall — What a funny name! She loved it.

“Here you are, Billy.” She presented him with both soft and toasted options.

While he ate the toasted one, she penned her reply to James.

_Dear James,_

_May I ask, how did Billywiggenhall come by his name? And what exactly have you told him about me? All good things, I hope._

_I did open my present, as a matter of fact, and I absolutely adored it. The partridge is adorable and I will cherish it forever. I’d better start picking the pears, though, because I don’t think Petunia will appreciate a whole flock of partridges and I don’t think I could bear to part with any of them. (If you do decide to market this bonsai, I would encourage you to write up some sort of user’s manual, yes.)_

_The feathers are in the box… and there are ten days left to the winter holiday. You’re not doing the_ _whole_ _song, are you? Because that would be a lot of work and I don’t want you to go through all that trouble for me. Just being able to correspond with you is more than enough._

_Your friend,_

_Lily_

When she looked up from her writing, the box had turned transparent. The two white feathers were now twin, baby turtle doves.

Billy was pecking relentlessly at the soft piece of bread, but not eating it. When it was completely in bits on the plate, he took a few crumbs in his beak and flew on top of the box. 

The owl flapped his wings, as though signaling for Lily to open it. When she did, he dropped the crumbs inside and the small birds ate them.

With the owl away from the plate, the partridge wandered forward and began eating as well.

Lily smiled at her little menagerie and took her polaroid camera off the shelf to take a picture for James. She sealed it into the envelope with her letter and sent it off with Billy.

It was going to be a good Christmas. 

* * *

James’ reply was swift, short, and accompanied by Billy, his friend named Pennygallysue, and a massive icebox. 

_Dear Lily,_

_Too late, I’ve already put the charms and transfigurations in place. You’re getting the full Christmas experience._

_Your friend,_

_James_

Three French hens had come in the form of three chicken dishes — a roast, a stuffed chicken Valentino and apricot-glazed that replenished themselves every day. After the third day of chicken, Petunia was sick of it, so Lily spent her mornings packing them up and taking them to the soup kitchens.

Then four colly birds came in the form of a blackbird pendant charm. James explained to her in his letter how ‘calling’ birds was actually a misnomer, the song was meant to say, ‘colly birds,’ which were ‘blackbirds.’ The pendant also sang ‘Blackbird’ by The Beatles if she simply touched her wand to its beak. (It wasn’t her doing magic, the pendant simply registered the magical core of the wand.) She quickly figured out that if she touched her wand to the tail, it would sing the ‘Song of Sixpence,’ touching the wings would make it sing ‘Bye Bye Blackbird.’

To Lily’s surprise, on the day of five golden rings, she only received one, with a mirror for a signet. Only, it wasn’t quite a mirror, because she didn’t see her own face in it, she saw Mary MacDonald’s.

“Is this thing on?” Mary’s voice came through in a whisper just loud enough for Lily to hear. 

“ _Mary?_ ” she squeaked. “Is that really you?” 

“Lily! Oh, Merlin, I don’t know how James did it, but —”

“I thought I heard someone talking.” Marlene McKinnon’s blonde hair came into view. 

“Marls!” Mary popped back in. “You’re here too!”

“I thought I was going insane, hearing your voices for a second!” Marlene shook her head. “James never explained what these rings were for, just that we should hang onto them for —”

"Hello?" Emmeline Vance with her jet black hair and violet eyes appeared. 

"Emmeline!" the girls cheered.

"Lily, it's so lonely at Hogwarts without you!" Emmeline sighed. "I'm so glad we can all talk like this —"

“Oh, finally!” Dorcas showed up as well. “I’ve been owling James, asking him what this ring is really for because my mum was starting to think he’d proposed to me or something. It’s so good to see you, Em, Marls —”

“Lily’s here too,” Mary piped up. “So I think you can tell your mum that he has _not_ proposed.”

There was a chorus of mm-hmms and a “Hi Lily!” from Dorcas. 

“Wait, what do you mean he hasn't proposed because I’m here?” Lily frowned, peering into the glass in the ring. 

The girls just giggled.

“Nothing, love,” said Mary. 

“Just that James didn’t want you to feel so far away from us on Christmas of all occasions,” Marlene added.

“The most magical time of the year.” Dorcas nodded. 

Emmeline jumped in as well. “I tried owling you again, but I think the postal system just isn’t that good in London?”

Lily frowned. “Owling? Again? I… actually live in the suburbs… but I never got any of your letters…”

“I tried tagging my owl before I sent her,” said Marlene. “She showed the right flight path. I just assumed since you don’t have a proper cage, she left before you could reply.”

“I think something must happen when you’re not able to address your letter very precisely,” Dorcas mused. “I’ve never heard of it being a problem before, a name should be sufficient, and definitely better for sending holiday mail since people move around a lot, but what’s your exact address, Lily? Room and everything?”

Lily dictated it to her friends. She had a sneaking, dreaded suspicion, and decided to test it. 

Billy and Penny arrived at 6 a.m. like clockwork and tapped on her window, but Lily continued to feign sleep. 

Eventually, she heard Petunia’s voice from outside in the garden. “Shoo! Shoo! Go away!” 

Something thumped onto the ground as the owls flew away.

Lily threw the covers off and met Petunia outside. Her sister was shoving six down pillows into a garbage bag, but just as quickly as she put them in, they turned into geese and flew away, dropping golden eggs as they went. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Lily asked her coldly. 

Petunia froze, then her pinched features contorted into a snarl. "Your freakish friend threatened me at the station! I could have him arrested, you know!"

"Oh, yeah?" Lily crossed her arms. "What's his full name?"

"I — It's — It doesn't matter!" She looked completely crazed with her curlers in her hair, green face mask on, and fluffy pink robe around her pyjamas. "I have his description! I'll go to the police and —"

"Petunia Evans?" a young woman came towards her with a growling orange tabby. "Is that you? Are you quite alright? I know your father's condition and your mother's frequent absence must be taking a toll on your mental faculties. You never were as independent as Lily was."

Despite herself, despite the exact same accusations Petunia had once leveled at her, Lily said, "Good morning, Mrs. Figg. Petunia's just having a rough go of it right now. Things haven't been going so well with Vernon --"

"Things are going just _fine_ with Vernon!" Petunia shrieked and several other neighbors, who up until this moment had only been curtain-twitching, were full-on gawking at the scene unfolding before them. "He _will_ come back from London and he _will_ propose to me and we _will_ live _here_ in _this_ house when Dad dies and Mum retires —"

"You _what?_ " Lily's temper got the better of her. "What the _hell_ did you just say? How _dare_ you! How very _dare_ you! Don't you care about them _at all?_ Don't you ever care about _anyone_ besides yourself? Dad _will_ get better, Mum _will_ retire _comfortably_ in _this_ house — _her_ house! And _I_ will make sure of it _in spite_ of _you!_ " 

* * *

Lily talked to her friends and wrote James every day after that. 

She'd collected the eggs strewn across the street and honked for the geese to return. She didn't care what the neighbors thought anymore. She was weird, but she wasn't a freak. She was special and she had a place in the world. 

On day seven, the eggs hatched swans. Lily kept the golden shells. Getting them melted into galleons and then converting them into Muggle money for her parents would fetch a better rate. 

Mrs. Figg agreed to keep the swans and geese in her yard in exchange for letting her kneazles hunt one every once in a while. It broke Lily's heart every time she went for a walk around the block and heard a broken squawk, but Mrs. Figg refused to accept monetary payment.

Lily wondered how James was even affording such lavish gifts, but it seemed an impolite thing to ask, especially in a letter. From what she'd heard Sirius speak of against his family, if the Potters were anything like the equally pureblooded Blacks, she didn't have to feel _too_ guilty about having her own personal gold farm.

Luckily, James wasn't taking the rest of the song too literally. 

Eight maids a-milking were eight tiny little wooden maids with eight tiny little cows like the talking dolls and figurines Lily had always wanted as a child to go with the dollhouse she used to share with Petunia, who'd long ago claimed herself to be too old for such fancies. So the dollhouse was now permanently in Lily's room. 

Nine ladies dancing, the ten leaping lords, eleven pipers, and twelve drummers all joined in the dollhouse party by New Year. 

Lily's life was now full of laughter and friends and magic, more than she knew what to do with.

Then, the best present of all arrived and it had nothing to do with James — Lily's parents came home. 

"Dad! Mum!" She leaped into their arms immediately upon seeing them at breakfast on the day she was scheduled to leave for Hogwarts again. "What are you doing back so soon?"

"Where did you get all the fancy chicken?" asked her mum.

"When did Mrs. Figg get all the birds?" asked her dad.

"Is everything alright?" the three of them asked at once.

Lily laughed and hugged them and kissed them again and again. "Everything's been _wonderful_."

After breakfast, her dad produced a large gift-wrapped box from under the table cloth. Petunia, as per usual at 7 a.m., still hadn't awoken yet. 

"It's from both of us," said her dad, his green eyes twinkling. "Open it when you're with your friends at school."

"Thank you, Dad!" She hugged and kissed them both again. "Thank you, Mum!" 

Her dad had to rest, but her mum drove her to the station.

"How is he?" asked Lily. "I know he always tries to be strong for us, but really? How is he?"

Her mum took a deep breath. "The chemotherapy will be… hard… but the doctors said it was a good thing we got the operation done earlier in Dublin. He's going to be fine."

Lily nodded, hopeful as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so my real-life is feeling neglected and throwing a tantrum this week. so there's one more update tomorrow, then idk what's happening. i really hope it's the next chapter and not more of this harsh reality of mine. but maybe it'll give some of y'all time to catch up on this fic? lots of love to you for reading this, for sharing this, for just, yeah, being amazing xx


	9. Space Invaders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure tooth-rotting fluff for you <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, you might've noticed the title change of this fic, and that's because 
> 
> 1) I thrive on creative titles and this is perfect for what I have planned for the arc of this fic
> 
> and 2) I'm not very convinced I'm gonna be able to finish it in time for the 31st as life happens... No one's complaining about extending Jilytober a little into November though, right? 
> 
> Thank you for your love and support, as always xx

Everyone crowded around Lily in the Gryffindor common room as she opened her present from her dad. 

“Space Invaders!” Peter cheered. “I’ve been wanting a console for  _ ages _ but Mum would never —”

“What’s Space Invaders?” asked James, Sirius, Emmeline, Marlene, and Dorcas. 

Mary gasped. With a wave of her wand, the joysticks multiplied. The rules listed on the box changed as well to accomodate more players. “Play. Immediately. You won’t regret it.”

“Er...” James sat down on the carpet beside Lily. “How do you use this thing?”

“Swing the joystick left and right to aim.” Lily put her hand over his, her fingers tingling. “Then hit the big red button to shoot.”

James felt his cheeks heat up from the way her hand ghosted over his fingers.

Sirius’ canon was shot down first. “ _ Blast! _ ” 

“Literally,” Lily muttered, smirking.

James chuckled, shooting down more aliens. 

Remus was just holding down the fire button the whole time and spraying the aliens as he moved back and forth across the bottom of the screen. Eventually, as the aliens thinned out, his own projectiles fell back down and blew up his canon.

“Ah-ah-ah-aaaaah— _ no! _ ” Dorcas sighed as her canon exploded. 

Mary laughed raucously. “You should’ve seen your face, Dor— _ Hey! _ ” Her canon exploded. “That came out of nowhere!”

“Oh, come on!” Marlene yelled at the screen. “That was friendly-fire!”

“Sorry!” Peter squeaked. The alien he’d been meaning to hit had moved and his projectile had fallen back down on Marlene’s canon.

“ _ Merlin! _ ” James’ canon exploded, but then reappeared. “Oh, false alarm.” He went back to playing. “I thought that was my last life.” 

“ _ Ughhhh _ ,” Peter groaned. “Well,  _ that _ was my last life.”

“Oh, crappity-crip-crap!” Emmeline was cornered by three aliens dropping down the screen.

“I got you, Em!” Lily shot down two of them, but the third collided with Emmeline’s canon, killing them both. “ _ No! _ I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay, avenge me!” Emmeline fell back onto the couch dramatically.

As Lily and James continued to rack up high scores into the millions, Muggleborns and not gathered around to watch. 

“Left!” Alice shrieked, clinging onto Frank’s shirt in her second-hand anxiety. “Left! Left! Left!”

“No backseat playing!” Lily chided, struggling against a whole solid block of invaders. “You’ll get your turn!”

“ _ Right! _ ” Molly and Arthur yelled, pointing at a projectile headed straight for James.

James narrowly avoided the hit. “My wrist is cramping so hard… How do you even  _ win _ this game?”

“Hey, here’s a combo you can do…” Roger King read off the box. “Rapid-fire on an alien in the middle of the screen to turn it into —”

Lily and James didn’t wait for him to finish. They blew up the alien in the middle of the screen and it nuked the entire platoon. 

The words, ‘You Win!’ flashed across the screen.

“ _ Yes! _ ” Lily and James high-fived like they’d been best friends all their lives. 

“How did you get so good?” she asked him. “I’ve been playing this in arcades since I was tall enough to reach the joystick!”

James grinned impishly. “Maybe I’ve just got really good reflexes.”

Lily rolled her eyes. She wondered if there was anything other than Potions that was difficult for James. “Okay, who wants to go next?”

Alice, Frank, Kingsley, Molly, Arthur, Roger, Maisie, Fabian, and Gideon played, but no one could beat James and Lily’s high scores.

“Hey.” James nudged her elbow as they sat beside each other on the couch. “You and me, one on one. Winner takes all.”

“Oh, yeah?” She raised a coy eyebrow at him. “Takes all of what?” 

“A kiss…?” he proposed.

Lily’s eyes went wide. 

“On the cheek!” he added quickly. “I would’ve said chocolate frog cards, but you only have Dumbledores and Scamanders! I don’t need more of them!”

She still smacked him in the arm, but a smile was twitching at the corner of her mouth. “And what do you get out of a kiss on the cheek?” she asked quietly.

James sucked in a breath. “Do you… Do you really want to know?”

Lily tucked a stray red tendril behind her ear. “I… really want… you to tell me.”

“Why did you kiss me under the mistletoe?” he asked her. “You won’t go to Hogsmeade with me, but you didn’t destroy the mistletoe, so —”

“I’m sorry I confused you!” Lily squeaked. Luckily the sound of the others playing the game drowned her out. “I… Was that why you sent me all those gifts? You thought I —”

“No!” James shook his head rapidly. “I’d been planning that since November —”

“ _ November? _ ” Lily felt her heart thumping in her ears. “James, why —”

“I meant it when I said your friendship means a lot to me,” he said quickly. “However else you want to be in my life, I want it too.”

Lily blinked. “How can you say that? You barely know me!”

James shrugged easily. “I know enough.”

She ducked her head, shying away from his sincerity. “I meant it when I said I was glad to be  _ friends _ with you.”

James nodded slowly, unable to help the way his mouth turned down in a bit of a pout since it seemed like that was all they would ever be. 

But Lily noticed and perhaps against her better judgment, gave in to his earlier request. “Friends give each other cheek kisses sometimes.”

Before James could quite register what she’d said, she’d tossed a joystick onto his lap and they began playing.

Lily didn’t know if she wanted to be the one to give James a kiss on the cheek or if she wanted to be the one getting kissed. Both options tightened the knot in her stomach that was present whenever he was around. 

James was in a similarly distracted state because they were sitting cross-legged in front of the screen with their knees touching. (They were wearing trousers, but  _ still. _ )

They both played spectacularly poorly, much to everyone’s surprise, but James scored worse and fell back onto one of the throw pillows scattered around the floor. 

“That was brutal,” he grunted. 

Lily laid down on the floor beside him as the next players took up the game. Her mouth said, “Aren’t you forgetting something, Potter?” But her mind was saying, ‘ _ What in Godric’s name are you doing, Lily Evans? Don’t bloody remind him, you never wanted this in the first place, you just didn’t want him to think you were afraid of losing to him of all people — _ ’

James’ hazel eyes went wide and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. 

Her eyes were drawn to those lips as he raised himself up on his elbows, then lowered himself so he was hovering over her, pressing a gentle, split-second kiss to her cheek. 

No one else in the packed common room saw it. They were too engrossed in Space Invaders and Remus’ attempts to make it easier to win using magic. 

Tentatively, James cleared his throat. “Rematch?” 

Lily’s face was still beet-red as she nodded. “But for chocolate frog cards this time. You have some good ones I want to get.”

James pushed his glasses up dramatically. “You’re on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking for some more Jily to read this month? Check out my [masterlist @littlejeanniebean on Tumblr!](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/masterlist)


	10. Sweet Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Witches be like "I'm going to swear off fanfic for a while so I can focus on my adulting responsibilities" and then when adult responsibilities stress them out, they go right back to fanfic. It's me. I'm witches. And in my defense, this chapter was already like, 3/4 of the way finished.

“Happy Sweet Sixteen!” Mary, Marlene, Dorcas, and Emmeline cheered as soon as Lily pulled the curtain aside on her four-poster.

The four pajama-clad girls jumped on top of her. They’d all pooled their resources to get her a limited edition Celestina Warbeck cassette tape for her walkman.

“Thank you, girls!” she laughed and hugged them all in turn.

There wasn’t much time to celebrate before they had to head down to breakfast. They had a double Transfiguration period and McGonagall was notoriously strict when it came to punctuality, even if it was one of her best students’ birthdays. 

Lily was the first one down, as always, ‘A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love’ blasting in her ears. 

James mouthed something, grinning like a Cheshire cat, peeking over the back of the couch at her. 

“Sorry?” She took her headphones off.

“Enjoying Celestina Warbeck?” he asked, putting an envelope on the seat next to him.

Lily raised her eyebrows at him. “What’s this? Bait?” 

“If the trap is a hug from a friend, then yes.” James threw his arms open wide and waiting.

Lily chuckled, shaking her head. She picked up the envelope and sat down in its place, allowing herself to be engulfed in a warm, bread-scented, vaguely leather-polish-smelling hug. 

“Open it, open it, open it!” James bounced in his seat.

Lily cast a severing charm on the envelope and two Celestina Warbeck tickets for that summer fell onto her lap.

“James!” she chided. “These must’ve cost a fortune!”

“My mum knows a guy,” he shrugged. 

“What if I didn’t like Warbeck?” she crossed her arms.

“Everyone likes Warbeck!” James said confidently.

Lily looked down at the royal blue tickets that had different constellations moving across them.

James bit the inside of his cheek. “Do you… not like Warbeck?”

Lily shook her head. “I just… I just don’t understand, James. I’ve already told you how I felt about… us —”

“We’re friends. Friends give each other birthday presents.”

“Not ridiculously expensive presents!” 

“I got Sirius a seventy-thousand galleon broom for his thirteenth — and I mean, okay, my parents pitched in, but the point is, this is just standard for me, so you don’t have to feel weird!”

Lily was still not entirely comfortable with it, but she knew he meant well, so she hugged him back. “I’ve never been to a concert before, Muggle or wizarding. Thank you, James. But it’s too much, alright? For future reference, just gimme a Nicholas Flamel chocolate frog card or something. I need it to complete my potioneer collection.”

James laughed. “Whatever you want, Lily.”

At the sound of footsteps thumping down the stairs, she jumped away from him with an apologetic smile. 

“I’m starving,” said Peter and Sirius in unison. 

Remus jumped out of the way immediately as they jinxed each other at the same time. Peter hit Sirius with a jelly-legs and Sirius hit him with a tongue-tie. Then Sirius went on to fire off a pink-hair jinx, so now Peter owed him a Butterbeer.

Lily’s dorm-mates arrived and after Sirius reverted the jinxes on Peter, they all went down to the Great Hall together. 

“Attention, students!” Slughorn stepped up to the podium. “One of Slytherin’s prefects would like to make an announcement.”

Narcissa Black stepped up, her long black robes, formal, not her uniform, swishing rhythmically in her wake. “Thank you, Professor Slughorn. My name is Narcissa Black, and as you may know, I come from a long line of pure-blooded witches and wizards. ‘But what does that mean, anyway?’ you might be asking yourselves. You might be a pure-blood or half-blood yourself, although you’ve never given it a second thought. What it means is family. What it means is heritage, legacy, and a duty to the wizarding world.

“St. Mungo’s was founded by people like us. The Ministry, the Wizengamot, even our beloved Hogwarts was founded by witches and wizards like us, who valued our magic and understood the importance of keeping it and our community whole and undiluted.

“There are those out there who seek to destroy us and the lives we’ve built for ourselves. It is those same people who’ve forced us into hiding under threat of burning, drowning, hanging. Now they throw fire squads and electrocutions in and expect us to continue to fall in line. They do not understand the power we hold, and I would argue, neither do we. 

“I invite you today to join us in making a difference. This our world. This is our time. It is up to us to continue the work of our parents, our great-grandparents, and all those who came before us. We are the History for the Future Society and we are open to students in all years from every house. Thank you.” 

The Slytherin table clapped the loudest. There were several from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw as well. While most Gryffindors didn’t applaud on principle, many pure- and half-bloods agreed with her message and signed the membership scroll as it went around.

“How could Dumbledore agree to this?” Sirius seethed. “My cousins are bloody lunatics, he _knows_ that!”

“If he tells them ‘no,’ they’ll just become an underground society,” Remus argued. “Then they’d be harder to keep track of. Dumbledore knows what he’s doing.”

“I don’t suppose we’re invited, do you?” Mary asked Lily, who scoffed.

“I don’t reckon so, no.”

Just then, a standard brown barn owl dropped a shoebox tied with plain string on her porridge.

“Oh, bugger,” she sighed.

There was no return address on the box, but when a standard check for magical booby-traps sprung none, she opened it. 

A piece of paper sat on top of a misshapen lump. In familiar, spikey cursive, it read:

_I was wrong. Freaks like you shouldn’t be locked up — You ought to be killed. Every last one of you menaces. We ought to hunt you down one by one. There are far more of us than there are of you and our numbers will only grow. The only reason we even tolerate you is that we think because you’re family you won’t hurt us, but I’ve known better all along. Dad never got sick until you brought that dangerous stick home. Mum never had to work so hard until you ran away from your responsibilities, to your stupid school. You’ve ruined us. You’ve ruined everything. I hope I see the day when you burn, witch._

Underneath the paper lay the little, red-headed Annie doll Lily used to carry around with her all the time as a child. The doll had been put in a blue dress with small yellow flowers, not unlike the one Lily used to wear in the summers before she grew out of it. Only the poor, pale doll had one button eye missing, it’s red mouth was bleeding onto her cheek, which was painted purple like a bruise instead of blush-pink. All over its face and torso, the redhead was stuck with long, sharp pins. 

It was usually easy to dismiss what Petunia was saying when she was just being deliberately mean like this, but right then, Lily felt like crying or vomiting or perhaps both. 

Between Narcissa Black’s polite, but firm exclusion of Muggleborns, to Petunia’s hate and outrage at Lily’s freakishness, it seemed she did not belong anywhere, no matter what James did or said. 

Yes, he was looking at her now, trying to coax her with tea or pumpkin juice, or _something_. 

She couldn’t take it and tore out of the hall, the large doors of the Great Hall bursting open as she barrelled through them, almost knocking a slept-in first year over. 

“Sorry, lad,” James muttered as he chased after her. “Lily!”

“Leave me alone, James!” she cried, ducking into a narrow corridor of knights in rusty armor and dusty, empty shelves.

But when James turned into the hallway, there was no one there. 

“Lily?” he whispered. Then he saw the broom closet. 

He opened it just a centimeter before someone pulled it shut from inside and muttered a few choice locking charms from their Ancient Runes class. Luckily, James was in that class as well and knew all the counter-charms. 

“Can’t you tell I didn’t want to make a scene?” she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“You ran out of the Great Hall early on Bacon Day.” James bowed his head to get into the closet with her. He shut the door behind him. 

Lily sighed. “What’s it like? Growing up a wizard?”

“Lonely,” said James immediately. 

Her head snapped up towards the sound of his voice quickly enough that he heard the crick of her neck. “ _How?_ ” 

“I was an only child. Most of my parents’ friends either didn’t have kids or didn’t have kids my parents thought would be a good influence. Hell, before meeting any of my parents’ friends, my mum would give me their code.”

“Their what?” 

“Red for you can trust them like you trust us, Yellow for you can trust them like you can trust Grandad — Grandad was great, but he didn’t have a good head for certain facts outside of anything to do with Potions or Quidditch or… no, that’s about it — and Green for don’t ever speak to them without us around to make sure you don’t, like, die.”

“And how many Reds —”

“One. Minnie.” 

“McGonagall?” 

“Yeah, she and my mum go way back.”

Lily smiled. “It’s nice. That you have one Red.”

James panicked a bit then. That was not how he wanted to make her feel. He didn’t realize it was that bad for her. That she felt there was no one she could trust explicitly. Surely, her friends —

“I think I’m getting there with Mary.” Lily nodded in the darkness. “Being Muggleborn too, she gets most of this… But her big brother is fiercely protective of her… Not that I need protecting or anything —”

“It’s just nice to know that someone has your back,” James finished.

“Yeah,” she sighed. 

“Marlene is great too,” he offered. “And I’m not just saying that from a Quidditch perspective.”

Lily chuckled. “I know. I _know_ . They’re _all_ great. I’m just letting Tuney get to me.”

“Lily…”

When he didn’t say anything more, she prompted him with a little nudge to what she thought was his arm, but was actually his thigh and that sent him.

“Er, I just…” He felt heat creeping up his neck, all the way to his ears. “If you ever need another Red… I’m… here… you know?”

“I _do_ know.” She realized she meant it as she said it. 

Ever since first year, he’d always been there, trying to be her friend. Trying to make her laugh when her studies were stressing her out, only she’d interpreted it as him being bothersome and arrogant, knowing that as a pureblood, his position at Hogwarts was secure. 

But then he’d assured her that only the most heinous of crimes could get a witch or wizard expelled from Hogwarts. And he helped her research other wizarding schools when they’d both thought that assault with a deadly weapon was heinous enough. 

(It was their third year. Malfoy had called Lily James’ “Mudblood Girlfriend” and they’d duelled him and his cronies, Crabbe, Goyle, Avery, and Mulciber. When she’d been disarmed of her wand, Lily, in a fit of temper, took a stone to Malfoy’s head and gave him a concussion severe enough to send him to Mungo’s for a week.)

But okay, James didn’t exactly “help” her research, he just snuck her into the restricted section and then proceeded to geek out about the Animagus Transfiguration books. He had a thing for animals. She’d often seen him cuddling a big, black stray dog in Hogsmeade or a chubby little brown rat at Hogwarts.

“I hope you also know none of the things Petunia or Narcissa say are true,” he was saying to her now. “You _deserve_ to be here, Lily. And you _deserve_ to be happy here.”

Her eyes had finally adjusted to the dark and she could see him, standing over her, but not uncomfortably so. It felt like he was shielding her, and not that she needed protecting or anything, but it was nice. 

Impulsively, she hugged him around the waist. He smelled like the bacon he’d eaten. And a bit like pumpkin juice that had probably spilled onto his robes if the way the Marauders ate breakfast was any hint. But he was warm and he cared and he’d come after her even though she thought she hadn’t needed it, hadn’t wanted it. Now he had one hand patting her head and the other rubbing soothing circles over her shoulders.

“Thank you, James,” she whispered.

“Any time, Lily.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, but let me know either way :) Thank you for always being so supportive of me no matter what I'm doing (or not doing). You guys are the best xx
> 
> ALSO, I just learned Oct 10 is World Mental Health day! So please take care of yourselves, today and every day, whether that's writing emotional hurt/comfort fics, reading emotional hurt/comfort fics, or something completely different!


	11. Office Hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do you pronounce "Jily" as "mutual-pining idiots" or "soulmates in denial?" Personally, I think they are both correct pronunciations 🤷🏻

“Merlin’s cruddy, sodding beard!” James muttered, his knitting needles getting tangled in the mess of yarn that Lily thought was supposed to be a vest, but it could also be a scarf, or maybe it was a really large draw-string bag. She couldn’t really tell anymore. 

It was her prefect office hour and, as per usual, she had the whole lounge to herself. And James, because he needed a quiet place to knit where no one would make fun at him for it. Not because knitting was not a manly thing to do. Even Fabian Prewett did it and he was arguably the manliest man in Gryffindor Tower. No, it was because James was absolute shite at knitting. 

“How does Molly even _do_ this?” James waved his wand aggravatedly and the entire vest-scarf-bag-thing unraveled itself. 

Lily chortled. “I mean, you took _one_ lesson from her. You can’t possibly expect to —”

“And yet, here I am! Living proof that it is possible!” He sighed and started over. 

“What are you knitting anyway?” She put down her copy of _Transfiguration Today_. 

“It’s a Gryffindor Quidditch sweater!” He held up the red and yellow messes of yarn proudly. 

She raised her eyebrows. “You… already have one?” 

James shook his head quickly. “It’s not for me. It’s for you!”

Lily blinked. “For… me… Wha—why?”

“Team spirit?” James tried, unsure of what she really meant by her question. 

Lily blushed. “You don’t have to go through all that trouble.”

"It's no trouble."

"That's a blatant lie." She gestured at the tangled yarn.

"I'll get the hang of it." He set his jaw resolutely. "Quidditch _is_ central to culture, you know. It's not just a sport. It bleeds into advances in everything, from transportation to fashion!" He raised his knitting needles slightly.

"Whatever you say, Potter." She shook her head fondly. 

Stinky the house-elf materialized in the middle of the room with a heaping plate of chicken nuggets. “Mistress Evans.” He bowed low before setting the plate on the desk in front of Lily. “Master Potter.”

“Hello, Stinky,” they greeted him in unison.

“Bon appetit!” He disappeared with a sharp crack to make the rest of his Gryffindor house deliveries. 

After a few beats of comfortable silence and the sound of the fire crackling (and muffled chewing), James asked, "So what's new in Transfig?"

"Uh, possible new ways to track unregistered Animagi —" 

" _What?_ " James jumped up.

Lily smirked, a knowing twinkle in her green eyes that made James sit back down sheepishly. 

"Here," she handed him the magazine. "I know how much you're into this stuff. And give me those needles, for Godric's sake. You're going to take someone's eye out."

They made the trade.

"Oh, there's one where they can narrow it down to a hundred thousand kilometer radius but they'd need to know your animal."

"Well, a hundred thousand kilometers." Lily rolled her eyes. "Yeah, they'll find you in no time. Hey, do you ever wonder what kind of animal you'd be?"

"Well, it's based on your Patronus, so —"

"But can't that change?" Lily frowned, knitting needles clicking faster the more deeply she was thinking. "Like, no one's soul is static. People grow and regress. They make choices, they fall in love —"

"You don't think falling in love is a choice?" 

"I mean… It's called 'falling,' isn't it?"

James leaned back in the velvet red armchair. "I chose to be in love."

" _Chose?_ " Lily leaned forward. "As in… you're… in love with someone?" Her knitting stuttered to a stop. She didn't know why this new piece of information surprised her. She was nothing if not a quick learner, and she'd learned that James had one of the biggest hearts in existence. 

Meanwhile, James was sweating in places he didn't even sweat in during an intense Quidditch match. "Er, uh, heh, I mean, you know —"

"You don't have to tell me!" Lily waved her hands out in front of her face frantically, knitting needles resuming their work in the same manner. "I mean, it's none of my business, you know? Anyway, we were talking about Animagi. Can someone's form change then?"

"Their current form would start to feel uncomfortable and then they'd need to learn the different transformations for their new form. If the two forms are similar then some people don't bother changing." James recited easily. Then he glanced at the vest-scarf-bag-thing floating just beside Lily's head. "Okay, you're worse at this than me, give me that."

Lily turned to look at it as well. It looked more like two mittens sewn together at the thumbs instead of a sweater. She didn't know where she'd gone wrong. And with all the trial and error, the yarn was fraying badly. "Yeah, you can have it."

James laughed. The clock above the mantle struck the hour.

Lily took up her book bag. 

James mirrored her.

"It's Remus' hour next," she reminded him.

"Yeah, but people actually find him approachable. I'd never get a word in edgewise."

"I'm approachable!" Lily protested, holding the door open behind her for him.

"Eh, not really, but that's okay!" James beamed at her. "It means I get to have you all to myself!" 

Lily blushed. Whoever he was in love with, they'd better love him back, or they'd have to answer to her. "So, any plans for Valentine's with this person you fancy?"

James looked shocked or appalled or maybe both. 

"You haven't told them?" Lily had never considered James to be the type not to say whatever was on his mind. He'd told her straight away when he thought he liked her.

"I…" James ruffled his already messy hair. Maybe this was the opening he needed to figure out what she liked and didn't like. "It might be a simpler thing if I did just _fancy_ them, but… I _love_ them… you know?"

"Is… Is it Marlene?" Lily didn't know why she could feel her stomach churning as she'd said it. Marlene was great! She was funny, she was sporty, and she even knew how to knit! 

But now James was laughing uproariously. "Oh, gods, no! She's like a sister to me! A very intimidating, very popular sister who would never want to be seen with me at school, except we're in almost all the same classes, so she's kind of stuck with me."

"Oh. Okay." Lily didn't quite know what to say.

James sobered up once more. "I… I don't think they're ready for a relationship yet. So that's why I'm not, er, pursuing them right now… Do people like to be pursued, do you think? Or should I just hang around in their vicinity and hope they notice me?" Like he was doing right now. With Lily. 

"I, uh..." Lily tucked a stray ginger tendril behind her ear. "I mean, you were the first guy to ask me out, so I don't really have much experience…"

"Oh. Okay." James didn't quite know what to say. "So hanging around then. Great. Good plan."

Lily smiled at him softly. "I wouldn't stress about it. If I've learned anything recently, it's that we're not defined by the love people choose to give us or not. We matter on our own. You're wonderful on your own, James."

Then why do I feel extra wonderful when I'm with you? He wanted to ask her. He wanted to kiss her again. But he only hugged her to his side as they walked down the corridor and said, "So are you, Lily. So are you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More mutual-pining idiots can be found in [my masterlist!](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/masterlist)


	12. Not In the Way You Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BAMF Lily coming in 🔥

Lily stopped in front of the griffin that stood sentinel at the entrance to the Headmaster’s office. “Cauldron cakes.”

The creature allowed her to step on the spiral staircase and brought her up into a room filled with lively portraits of past headmasters. They were debating the latest Quidditch match between Hufflepuff and Slytherin. On an ornate table was the big book of students’ records and the Sorting Hat was on the shelf behind the perch of Fawkes, the phoenix. Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen. 

There was a sound like flushing echoing from a nearly-hidden door beside a locked cabinet that Lily knew contained the Hogwarts Pensieve. She’d read all about it in _Hogwarts: A History_. 

The Headmaster emerged in flowing yellow and green robes with silvery-white embroidery. His tall, pointed hat was of the same coloring. “Ah, Ms. Evans, thank you for coming. Please, have a seat.”

“Of course, Headmaster.” She sat down and the purple cushion shifted slightly to more comfortably accommodate her. 

“May I interest you in a cauldron cake?” He offered her one in a golden Honeydukes wrapper. His blue eyes, usually bright, seemed dulled that morning. 

“Thank you, sir.” Lily was never too proud to accept free food. “Is something the matter?”

“It’s about Severus. I haven’t heard from him regarding his activities for Riddle’s organization. I’m worried about his safety.”

Lily frowned deeply. “Since when? What was his last report? Has Malfoy done something?”

“That’s the thing. I was only able to speak to him once about this. Though he agreed to report any illicit behavior to me, Severus is… He prefers to work alone, except when it comes to you.” 

“But you’re the Headmaster!” Lily was shocked at her best friend’s behavior. “I will speak to him immediately. Tell him to come to you —”

“I would prefer it if you let him speak directly to you.” Dumbledore smiled kindly. “Information is only as good as its completeness.”

“And you think he would lie by omission.” Lily was skeptical. “To _you?_ ”

“It is not out of the realm of possibility,” said Dumbledore. “Just as he is a member of an order of sorts, as am I.”

“Sir?”

Dumbledore gestured to Fawkes. “A phoenix, as you may well know, Ms. Evans, burns in old age and is reborn from its ashes. It can never die. Just as the spirit of goodness, of love, of righteousness can never die as long as we remain unafraid of the trials we may have to endure to keep it alive.”

Lily stared at him.

He chuckled. “That didn’t really explain anything, did it? I promise it will become clearer to you as time goes on.” 

“You don’t think I’ll blow his cover?” she asked.

“Not if you’re the one approaching him, no,” he confirmed. 

Lily nodded and stood. “I’ll be back shortly.” 

“Thank you, Lily. It’s plain to see how much you care for your friends,” he commended her. “A true Gryffindor.” 

“Thank you, sir.” She left and headed straight for the usually-empty Potions classrooms.

They were dusty, musty, and certainly a fire hazard, but Lily and Severus had used them well to develop their skills in all areas of magic, not just potions. Now, she heard his low murmuring from inside one of the rooms and let herself in. 

“ _Separosempra!_ ” There was a flash of light and a sound like a cord ripping, but nothing appeared to have changed at all about the near-empty room. “Salazar’s sweet soul, what am I _missing?_ ”

“Sev?” 

He flinched. “Lily! What are you doing here? I could’ve hurt you!”

“I’ve been worried about you,” she said quietly.

His expression softened. “I told you to owl me. _Only_ —”

“Is there really anything to be learned in the personal classifieds you have me scouring?” Lily really hoped what Dumbledore said was true. That Severus preferred to work alone, except when it came to her. 

“You’ve always been better at ciphers than me —”

“ _Is_ there?” She advanced on him. “Or were you just trying to get rid of me?”

“Lily —”

“What are you really doing with Malfoy and the others?” she challenged him.

“I can’t tell you —”

“Can’t or won’t?” 

“ _Can’t!_ ” He cried, dark eyes shining with desperation. “I can’t! I made the Unbreakable Vow!”

Lily’s eyes widened. “Sev… Sev, why…” She felt like crying for him, because of him. “What are they making you do that is so terrible they must go to such lengths to keep it a secret?”

“It doesn’t matter to me,” he said resolutely. “The world is about to get very dangerous, Lily. All that I’m doing will help me keep you safe.”

Lily shook her head vehemently. “There must be another way —”

“Lily.” He took both her hands in his, his thumb caressing her knuckles. “I love you.”

She stiffened. “What do you mean by that?” 

“What does anyone mean when they say that? I love you —”

“Are we still friends or have you been lying to me about the personals?”

“I want us to be more than friends. I love —”

She tore her hands away immediately. “So you were lying to me.”

“Only to keep you safe —”

“And yet here I am!” she yelled, cheeks reddening, green eyes flashing. “Almost caught in the cross-fire of what appears to be you testing out a severing charm for _Godric_ -knows-what for _Godric_ -knows-who!” 

Severus pushed a table over angrily. “It’s that imbecile, Potter, isn’t it? He’s always tried to win you with his parent’s money, with his brooms, and his silly games —” 

“No! _Merlin_ , aren’t you _listening_ to me? I just told you what it is and it’s that you’re refusing to be honest with me —”

“You want me to _die_ for you, Lily?” he seethed. “Because that’s what the Unbreakable Vow will do if I breathe a word of anything to anyone —”

“I want you to _work_ with me. The Vow’s power is only as specific as the oath you swore. There must be _something_ they left out. Something we can use to get you out of this mess —”

“Now, _you’re_ the one not listening! I don’t _want_ out! I want further _in!_ These people are the future leaders of the wizarding world, Lily. I can secure a place for us in it —”

“If it’s a world where bigots like Malfoy get to spit in the face of people like me, maybe _I don’t want in,_ ” she snapped.

Some of the anger left his face and it was replaced by sadness. “Do you really care so little for me that you would leave this world and me in it?”

“Don’t put it like that,” she quieted as well, shaking her head. “You know I care for you. You’re my best friend.”

“But you don’t love me,” he snarled bitterly. 

It hurt her to say it. But she would be a hypocrite now if she wasn’t honest with him. “No, not in the way you want.” 

He gripped his wand tightly enough for his knuckles to go white. “Leave. Now.” 

“Sev —”

“Leave!”

“Sev, please —”

“Now!” he bellowed, waving his wand threateningly. 

Lily balked, tears in her eyes, and left.

* * *

Soon, she was stood outside the griffin again, waiting for it to move aside so she could get to the stairs. 

Passing through the same corridor was the Gryffindor Quidditch team in high spirits on their way to the pitch to practice for their match against Ravenclaw. 

She quickly dove behind the griffin’s wing before they could see her. 

“Ms. Evans,” Dumbledore greeted her solemnly, reading her demeanor at once. “Tell me everything.”

She did and he listened attentively, nodding occasionally. 

“I once had a friend, a very dear friend, whom I had to tempt away from the edge,” he said.

“What did you do?” Lily leaned in.

“I told him I loved him.”

She swallowed thickly. “Did it work?”

“No, not in the end. But at least I can say that it wasn’t for lack of trying on my part. Love is a powerful thing, Ms. Evans, especially when wielded correctly.”

Lily felt sick. “I can’t do that, Headmaster.”

“I know it isn’t fair to ask you to, which is why I leave it entirely up to you. I can’t tell you there will be no consequences if you do not, but I can tell you that there will be none brought on by myself or any other member of the faculty and staff.”

“Permission to speak freely, sir?”

“Always.”

“I believe that I am powerful regardless of whether or not I am loved. I can’t go back there and tell him… and kiss him… and… and share things with him that you _only_ share with someone you love!” Lily was angry at him now. It wasn’t right of him to ask this of her. She was certain. “This lie would not die today. It would fester and I would resent him and when he decides that I am _tempting_ enough to leave Malfoy and Riddle for and I can _finally_ break up with him because _I do not love him_ , where do you think he will go from there? Straight back to Malfoy and Riddle!” 

Dumbledore remained silent.

“Are you asking me to pretend to love him all our lives? For _his_ sake?” She tried to read his expression but found it impossible. “No,” she decided. “Not for his sake. For the mysterious Order, you mentioned, perhaps?”

Dumbledore’s mouth quirked up slightly beneath his long white beard. He nodded almost imperceptibly. “I can say no more at this time. But the world is about to get very dangerous. Especially for people like you, Ms. Evans. All my students are precious to me. I hope I can keep you safe.” 

“Now, you sound just like him,” Lily muttered ruefully. “May I be excused?”

“You may.” He took her hand and gave her another cauldron cake. “Thank you for trying, Ms. Evans.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, you've reached the end of the chapter! You know what to do ;)


	13. Good Ideas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The good news is: this is an exciting chapter. The bad news is: this is an exciting chapter.

Lily angry-ate her two cauldron cakes all the way down to the Quidditch pitch, which should be abandoned now as the Venn Diagram of Quidditch players and people who never miss Sunday roast lunch is a circle within a circle. 

She snatched a Comet 180 from one of the locker rooms under the stands and kicked off. Quickly, she gained speed, pleasantly surprised that they’d upgraded the school brooms since the last time she’d flown. 

Lily sped in figure eights around the pitch before she decided to challenge herself and needle through one of the large goal hoops. She lined up halfway down the pitch and tried to slow down on her approach, but the broom wouldn’t cooperate. It also refused to allow her to turn. 

_Fifty meters from the post._

If she was off her mark, she could take her own head off at this speed. 

_Thirty meters._

She really should consider jumping, even though she hadn’t mastered _Arresto Momentum_ , which was next week's scheduled DADA lesson. 

_Fifteen meters._

Another flyer shot to her side, not quite as fast as she was going, but there was enough of her own speed for the slight nudge to change her course. She cleared the posts with no trouble. 

“ _Take it up!_ ” A voice yelled over the wind rushing by her ears at an ever-increasing rate. “ _Straight up against gravity! It’ll slow it down!_ ”

Lily did as she was told and in a few moments, she was hovering in the middle of a low cloud, thin, icy February air burning in her lungs. She felt exhilarated, liberated.

The other flyer finally caught up to her. His dark hair was a bird’s nest above his head and his goggles were almost completely fogged over at this altitude. 

“Alright, Evans?” asked James Potter, still in his Quidditch uniform from practice earlier that day. 

“Never better!” she cheered, cheeks all rosy like her hair. 

James grinned, looking like he was about to say something snarky, and sure enough: “I was worried some knucklehead had taken a broom from the cupboard that was clearly labeled BROKEN AND SHOULD NOT BE USED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, but it turns out it was just you.”

Lily socked him in the shoulder for that. Then she mumbled, “I was a little preoccupied.”

“Oh?” He casually crossed one leg over his broom handle and propped up his elbow on it so his chin could rest in his hand. “What’s so bad it’s got you letting off steam by _flying,_ of all things?”

She sniffed, faux affronted. “I’m a good flyer.”

“Yeah, I saw,” James smirked. “Almost ran into a goal post and everything.”

“Oh, shut it, Potter.” She shook her head, smiling slightly before her expression faltered altogether. 

“Lily?” He reached out and touched her shoulder gently, friendly.

“Sev hasn’t been talking to Dumbledore about what Malfoy and Riddle are making him do,” she rushed out all at once. “He swore an Unbreakable Vow.”

“He — Wha—How —” James frowned as he collected his thoughts. “You talked to him? Snape, I mean?”

Lily nodded. “He… I don’t know if we’re friends anymore, James… This entire year, it's felt like I was losing him slowly. He didn’t even owl over Christmas… I should’ve insisted on knowing what he was up to sooner!”

“This isn’t your fault —”

“I was his friend! I… I _am_ his friend… even if he — he…” Lily whimpered.

James flew closer immediately and grabbed her broom over her hands to steady her in the air. “Breathe. Keep your shoulders loose. Lock your ankles under — there you go.”

“Thanks,” Lily sighed heavily. “He told me he loved me.”

It took everything in James not to blanch, scoff, or cringe.

“And Dumbledore basically told me I should’ve lied and told him I felt the same. Then he might’ve opened up to me.”

“Dumbledore _what?_ ” James lurched forward suddenly before righting himself. “He had no right!” 

“I know!” Lily cried out in exasperation. “But I don’t know what else to do! How else to help!” 

“My mum had a miscarriage when I was about six,” he found himself saying. “She wouldn’t speak to either of us. I never stopped trying to talk to her.”

“James, I’m so sorry.” Lily took his hand in hers. 

He smiled. “It only worked when she was ready, though. Only after the funeral, after the therapy, after she went to live with Minnie for a while.”

“You think Sev isn’t _ready_ to be helped?” She looked at him skeptically. “His life could very well be in _danger_ James! I _don’t_ think it was a coincidence that this Riddle fellow was the same guy who _supposedly_ caught Hagrid with the creature that killed Moaning Myrtle! Hagrid would _never_ hurt someone and would _never_ let one of his creatures do the same!”

“You’ve been looking into him too,” James realized.

Lily nodded rapidly. “So… if… if I have to go back to Sev… and… and tell him that I… I…”

“That you need his memory of the vow,” said James, thinking quickly. “It will get vague and wispy towards the end, as its magic sets in —”

“But it will tell us most, if not all, of what it covers _and_ it may tell us who else is in Riddle’s inner circle!” She leaned over to hug him in her excitement, but her broom banked and almost dropped her out of the sky. “ _Eep!_ "

“Gotcha.” He held her tightly around the waist and pulled her onto his broom so she was seated in front of him. “Alright?”

Lily nodded, flushed. From her near-death experience, obviously, not because James’ post-Quidditch musk was practically _enveloping her_ and making her head spin. “Can you, um, take us down, please?” 

“Sure,” he murmured into her hair, grabbing the broken Comet as they passed it. “Do you want to try flying a _real_ broom?”

“Uh…” Lily tried to concentrate, she really did, but her landing was shaky at best.

“Good job!” James cheered anyway. “Cleansweeps are hard because they take a lot of control. Every little movement matters. From the position of your thumb —” He put his warm hand over hers to demonstrate. “— to the lean of your seat.” He leaned forward so that his front was flush against her back and she felt the broom glide forward ever-so-slightly.

“I see…” Lily licked her lips. “Well, thanks for the flying lesson, James.” She stumbled off the broom as though she’d just been hit with a Jelly-legs jinx. “And the brilliant idea about using the memory. I’d better get going and —”

James sobered. “Even if we don’t learn anything from it, don’t lie to him, Lily. It won’t change anything since he took the vow. And you’ll only end up hurt.”

“You’re right,” she admitted. Hearing him say it like that really put everything into perspective for her. “Thanks, James.”

When she went back to the usually-empty Potions classroom, Severus was no longer there. She didn’t see him at dinner either. 

In the common room later that evening, she approached the loud and boisterous Marauders, who were in the middle of a rousing hybrid game of Exploding Snap and wizarding Go Fish. “James, can I see you for a minute?” 

“Sure!” He stood immediately. 

They tucked themselves into a quiet corner.

“How did it go?” he asked.

“I haven’t spoken to him yet. I can’t find him anywhere!”

James frowned and brought out the Marauders’ Map. “Could you, er, cover your ears or something?”

Lily raised her eyebrows but did as she was asked.

“ _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_ ,” he whispered. “That’s odd.” He signaled for Lily to take her hands off her ears. “He hasn’t shown up on the map since before lunch. His last known location is the seventh-floor corridor.”

Lily frowned. “There’s… practically nothing there. Just the honours revision classes and those don’t even start until March. Maybe the map’s… broken?”

“Just when we thought we’d finished fine-tuning the bloody thing,” James huffed. “Wanna go check it out?”

“What? The seventh floor?”

“If they like using empty classrooms, maybe we’ll overhear a meeting. I’ll get the cloak. You get the snacks?”

Lily crossed her arms. “This isn’t some kind of stake-out adventure, James —”

“Ask for an apple crumble. Minty usually only serves _Slytherin_ house, but she won’t let anyone else make her secret recipe.”

Lily smiled widely. “You’re just full of good ideas today, aren’t you? I’ll meet you on the seventh, then.” 

He bowed grandly to hide the way he didn’t know what to do with his face when she complimented him like that — with a dash of coy and a pinch of tease. 

She giggled and headed down to the kitchens. 

“Mistress Evans!” Stinky beamed. “What a pleasant surprise!”

“Hello, Stinky. I’d like an apple crumble, please.”

“Certainly —”

“Oh, no you don’t!” Minty appeared out of nowhere. “Minty makes the apple crumble! _Only_ Minty!” 

“No one but Minty must make apple crumble,” Stinky mimicked her, rolling his eyes. “No one but Minty must deliver to The Location —”

“Only _my_ students use The Location! It makes sense —”

“Minty’s loyalty is to _Hogwarts!_ Not Slytherin!”

Minty gasped in horror. “Stinky questions Minty’s _loyalty_ now, _does_ _he?_ ”

“Excuse me, but what is The Location?” Lily knelt down so she was at eye-level with the elves. 

Stinky continued his tirade, “Only _Minty_ must know how to apparate into The Location —”

“My students asked for their privacy and Minty is a good, _respectful_ elf! Unlike some —”

“Only _Minty_ must make Jaffa cakes and deliver them to The Location —”

“Sev loves Jaffa cakes,” said Lily. “My friend, Severus Snape — Minty, you know him, you’ve delivered to both of us before when we… when we used to study together. Please, take me to The Location. I have to speak to Sev as soon as possible. I think he might be in danger.”

Minty pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at Lily. Gradually, she calmed down from her argument with Stinky and her ears stopped quivering. “Would you like to bring apple crumble too?”

Lily smiled, taking the little elf’s hand. “Maybe some other time. I don’t want to trouble you too much.”

With a sharp pop, they were standing in the middle of the seventh-floor corridor. It was a long stretch of empty wall, unusually devoid of tapestries, paintings, or even statues and knights. 

“There’s no one here, Minty.” Lily chewed the inside of her cheek nervously. 

“The door only comes when called. Like an elf.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Minty doesn’t either. But Masters and Mistress do and they make the door appear for Minty.”

“What’s inside?”

“Everything.” Before Minty could explain further, she was summoned elsewhere and had to go. 

Suddenly, James Potter’s apparently floating head appeared. “Well, that was cryptic.”

“You can say that again.” Lily ducked under the cloak with him. “Do you want to try calling the door or shall I?”

“Door!” James bellowed. “I summon thee!”

Lily elbowed him in the ribs. “Be serious!”

“What’s wrong with just being me?” he pouted.

It took Lily a second to get the joke. “Oh my god, _really?_ ”

James grinned impishly.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Like an elf, she said. An elf knows when we’re summoning them versus when we’re just mentioning their name in a conversation. Like when I say I like my tea minty, Minty doesn’t show up out of nowhere —”

“— so we have to think about the door,” James mused. 

Lily nodded. “How much we want there to be a door —”

“— but not just any door —”

“— a door that leads somewhere —”

“— where there is _everything_...” James trailed off in confusion. “But that’s too broad to be able to think intentionally about, isn’t it?”

Lily looped a tendril of her hair around her finger, then unwounded it, then looped it again. “I want to see Severus.” She faced the wall determinedly. “Please, I want — I _need_ to see him. I know he’s in there…”

An iron-wrought door revealed itself in the stone. 

“Merlin’s pink polka-dotted pants!” James gasped.

“Ready?” Lily grabbed the knob, wand at the ready.

James nodded, wand up too. 

The dimly-lit room was indeed filled with _everything_ — tables, chairs, books, beds, lamps, clothes, toys, brooms, _everything_. 

“ _Lumos_.” James checked the map. “We’ve disappeared. Look.”

Lily looked down briefly. She had more immediate concerns. “How are we going to find Sev in all this mess?” 

James pointed his wand at a teapot. “ _Wingardium Leviosa_.”

“James…” Lily warned him. 

“I’m full of good ideas today, right?” He winked and threw the teapot up into the air. It landed a few feet ahead of them with a smash.

Footsteps neared quickly and a boy dressed in all black came into view. 

“Stay here,” Lily whispered before whipping the cloak off herself. “Sev!” She ran to him. 

He looked around quickly, panicking. “Lily, you can’t be here!” 

She brought a small, empty vial out of her cloak pocket. “I need your memory of the moment you took the vow. As much as you can —”

“You have to go now!” He shoved her back. “They’ll be back any minute —”

“Who? Back from where?” Lily stepped towards him again and put the vial into his hand. “Please.”

He remained stoic. “You have to go.”

She frowned. “I won’t until you give me that memory.”

“The only Pensieve you have access to is Dumbledore’s. I’m not giving that old, manipulative, holier-than-thou —”

A thud and several footsteps echoed from the far side of the room. 

“Sevie?” a high-pitched trill carried all the way over to them. “Where’d you go, love?”

Severus winced. “She’s blooming mad. Batshit crazy. Knows _all_ the Unforgivables. You have to —”

“Give me the memory,” she pleaded. 

He seemed on the brink of conceding, but then he shoved the vial back into her hand, turned on his heel, and walked away. 

Desperately, she added, “Wouldn’t you rather find out if I could grow to love you?”

Severus stopped in his tracks.

“If you walk away now…” Lily took a deep breath. “I don’t know that I’ll ever seek you out again… that we’ll ever speak to each other again… I do care for you…” She couldn’t lose him. Not like this. “Don’t you want to find out how far that can go?”

“Give me the vial.” Severus touched his wand to his temple and dropped it in. Then he pulled her to him and kissed her fiercely. 

Lily stiffened, hands on his shoulders, stuck between wanting to push him away physically and not wanting to push him away emotionally. 

“ _Accio Lily!_ ” James hissed and Lily felt herself flying backward. 

“Oof!” She collided with his invisible form. 

Severus had whirled around, thinking someone from his group had seen them.

Lily stood quickly. “Thank you for trusting me, Sev!”

He nodded and turned the corner, out of sight behind a pile of old editions of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_. 

Lily ducked back under the cloak.

"Alright?" James couldn't get the frown off his face.

She socked him in the shoulder. "You could have made me break the vial!"

Without a word, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room. They let themselves up to the Headmaster's office.

"Good evening, Professor Dippet," Lily greeted the nearest portrait. "Could you call Professor Dumbledore for us, please?" 

The old man nodded and walked out of his frame. 

James was still uncharacteristically silent. He didn't even go over to pick the Sorting Hat's non-existent brain, which was high up on his bucket list along with 'become an Animagus' and 'win the Inter-House Quidditch cup.'

"You think I shouldn't have told him what I did," Lily spoke for him.

"Does it matter what I think?" James mumbled ruefully.

"It got us the memory, didn't it?"

"Is he a good kisser?"

Lily stared at him like he'd sprouted another head and maybe even some wings or a third eye. "Are you… _jealous?_ "

"You thanked him after he kissed you —"

"For the memory!"

"You thanked him for his _trust_ , which implies that you didn't mind that his trust includes…" James made a face, but couldn't make the words come out. 

"I don't think I should've led him on like that either, but I didn't hear any more good ideas coming from you, so —"

"You didn't thank me for freeing us from that mistletoe —"

"Because that was a _team_ effort!"

Now James was looking at her like she'd just discovered that her Animagus was an ethereal unicorn or something. "You… You didn't kiss him back," he realized. "But you kissed me back… so I'm a better kisser than Sniv-Snape."

Lily rolled her eyes and decided not to dignify his (correct) assumption with a reply. 

"Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore greeted them in fluffy purple pyjamas. "What brings you here this time of night?"

"We have Severus' memory of the moment he took his vow." Lily held up the vial.

Dumbledore went over to the locked cabinet immediately. "Would you both like to view it with me?"

Neither of them had ever looked into a Pensieve before and they nodded eagerly.

Dumbeldore gestured to the bowl. "Go ahead, pour it in."

Lily emptied the vial into the basin and the three of them submerged themselves in the memory.

She recognized Lucius Malfoy, Boris Avery, and Bellatrix Black, but the rest of the group's faces were too blurry to make out from where she was standing in the memory. Out of the blur, one man came forward. He looked like he had been handsome once. But now his skin was a sallow color and his eyes were bloodshot red. 

He clasped hands with Severus. 

Their bonder was a man James recognized as Alex Crow or Alec Craw or something. "Do you, Severus Snape, swear to complete the task assigned to you by Lord Voldemort, whom you shall address as the Dark Lord, and not to divulge the particulars of this task to anyone other than those present in this room only as necessary?"

"I will," said Severus.

The memory faded out quickly after that.

"The room they were in — it's not Hogwarts. They're sneaking out somehow," said James. "I saw Crabbe, Goyle, and Mulciber. Their bonder is… Crow? Craw?"

"Carrow," said Dumbledore. "Alecto. I saw his sister there too."

"I saw Malfoy, Avery, and Bellatrix Black," Lily added. "Who was that man he was making the vow with?"

"That," said Dumbledore gravely, "was Tom Marvolo Riddle."

After a beat, James burst into laughter.

"I… I don't…" Lily looked at him with concern. "Are you alright?"

"Never better!" James hooted. "Oh, blimey. This bloke we're up against… Do you realize what he calls himself?"

"Flight of death in French?" Lily frowned. "I don't see what's so funny about that."

Dumbledore was chuckling now too. "James is right. The names we choose for ourselves are quite revealing. And Tom is a rather conceited, self-important young man. Not that he should be underestimated, far from it. It is often those who truly believe themselves to be infallible who have the ability to make others believe it too."

Then it clicked for Lily. "Are you _kidding_ me? The bastard made his villain-name a bloody _anagram?_ "

That set James off again and he was wiping the tears from his eyes by the time he sobered up. "Right, so how do we find this wanker and tell him his villainy needs work?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Leave it to me. I have a few friends in the auror department whom I might nudge in the right direction. If we find Riddle, we find his hideout, and we can work our way back to find out how students are sneaking out of Hogwarts."

"What about Severus?" asked Lily. "What can we do about his vow?"

"It seems to be limited to a certain task, which is good news. I will continue to keep tabs on him and once I know what the task is, I will find a way to allow him to complete it without endangering himself or anyone else." Dumbledore nodded with satisfaction. "You two must now undertake what I believe will prove to be a difficult task."

James and Lily shared a weary look.

"We're up to it, sir," they said nevertheless.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "You must try to get some sleep. You have classes in the morning."

James and Lily sighed with relief and said goodnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Honestly. Go on, yell at me, you know you want to... 👀


	14. Freestyle Charms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentally, I'm here :)

Professor Flitwick was obsessed with festivities, any festivities — Halloween, Christmas, New Year, and of course, Valentine’s Day. On February 14th, his fifth-year classroom was filled with pink, red, and white ribbons, lace, tissue paper, and heart-shaped candies. It looked like the inside of Madam Puddifoot’s. 

“You will be learning freestyle charms in preparation for your O.W.L.s,” the professor squeaked from atop his favored stack of books (old editions of _A Beginner’s Guide to Transfiguration_ , much to McGonagall’s dismay if she ever found out). “Who can tell me the four requirements for good freestyle charms work?”

“Hey, Evans,” James called out from the back of the room, where he sat next to Sirius. “Are you the four requirements for good freestyle charms? Because you are F.I.N.E.!”

Lily, who was sat in the very front of the room, blushed and shook her head before burying her face in her hands. Beside her, Mary MacDonald giggled and ribbed her teasingly. 

It didn’t help that Lily was wearing the Gryffindor Quidditch sweater James had finally managed to finish knitting for her. It was just a really comfortable sweater, _alright?_

“Thank you, Mr. Potter,” Flitwick chirped with the slightest hint of a reprimand to his tone. “Now who can tell me what that mnemonic means?” 

Lily and Remus’ hand shot up at the same time. 

“The first two, please, Ms. Evans.” Flitwick smiled encouragingly at his best student.

“Finesse and Imagination.” 

“The next two, Mr. Lupin?” Flitwick prompted, looking kindly on the boy who’d once asked him for help with cosmetic charms to hide his scars, but who now wore them proudly.

“Narrative and Emotion.”

“Excellent! Ten points to Gryffindor, each.” He turned to address the rest of the class. “Your wand work must have finesse, so you will hold it between your thumb and index finger, like so. You must be able to imagine precisely what you want to accomplish and then organize it into a clear, step-by-step narrative. If you cannot do this mentally, you can invoke the charms in stages.” To demonstrate, he first made a long red ribbon shimmy in waves, then he had it loop itself into a heart, and finally, he had it expand and contract as though it were alive and beating. “Finally, you must channel your emotions. This is what sets freestyle charms apart from the others we’ve learned so far. You have to mean it. Otherwise, your results will fade quickly, or else remain rather lackluster. You may begin your experiments now and I will be going around, so if you need any help, just ask!” 

In five minutes, Remus had turned his box of heart-shaped chocolates into a fountain of chocolate candies, then he set about helping Peter with some sort of party-favor effect the chubby blond was struggling to perfect. 

“Ta-da!” Marlene gestured grandly at her neon pink snitch.

“Hey, did you use all the glitter?” Dorcas whined.

Marlene cringed with guilt and sent the glitter-ball flying over to Dorcas’ end of the bench. “For you?”

Dorcas narrowed her eyes at her. “If you think you can bribe forgiveness out of me with a neon pink glitter ball related to a sport I don’t even play…”

Marlene winced, ready for another scolding.

“... Then you are absolutely right. I love it.” Dorcas grinned. 

Mary sent a flock of seven origami swans on a river of white lace to Sirius, who’d reciprocated with a lion made of pink tissue paper that coughed up little candy “fur-balls.”

Lily had her eyes closed for over ten minutes, working out her complete narrative in her mind. She was determined to subvert the romantic expectations of the task. 

James worked the same way and when he had the complete vision in his mind’s eye, he set to work. 

In the empty glass bowl that used to contain the chocolates Remus had used for his experiment, Lily constructed a cute little forest clearing of pink and white with a miniature stag in bright red. When she dropped little bits of candy into the bowl, the stag walked over to eat it, and every time he moved, a few bars of ‘Sugar, Sugar’ would play. 

“Morgana’s highfalutin’ hat, Lily!” Emmeline gasped. “That’s gorgeous!” 

Soon all the Gryffindors were gathered around her, waiting for a chance to feed the stag. 

Peter freaked out immediately when he saw it and wormed his way back to where James was patiently working on his experiment. 

“He’s not obsessed with everything Evans does for a change,” Sirius murmured. “Please don’t ruin it.”

“I think she knows he’s an Animagus!” Peter squeaked. “Why else would she make a Valentine for a _stag?_ ”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “Let me see.”

They wiggled back to the front of the crowd, where Sirius was promptly distracted by Mary, who started feeding him candies too, as well as the stag. 

As for Peter, the second he saw Emmeline’s striking violet eyes and matching bouquet of ever-blooming tissue-paper flowers, he was a goner. (They’d gotten much closer over games of Space Invaders.)

“Need help there, little Flea?” One of the tall, blond, and handsome Ravenclaw boys, Benjy Fenwick, leaned over James’ desk, which was a mess of pink and purple confetti, torn tissue paper, and melted candy. 

James just grunted something that sounded vaguely like ‘Go away.’ 

He and Fenwick had a bit of an ongoing rivalry ever since Gryffindor started having their Transfiguration and Charms classes with Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin. (The professors thought it would be less chaotic and for the most part, it was, except for the fact that James was better at Transfiguration than Fenwick and Fenwick was better at Charms than James, and their competitiveness often ended in a mess.)

“You’re choking up on your wand a little much there —”

“S’fine,” James mumbled, frowning in concentration. For some reason, no matter how strong he made his sticking charm, it wouldn’t hold the bloody thing together.

“Maybe if you did it in stages like Flitwick suggested —”

“I heard that too, yeah —”

“I dunno, you just seemed pretty preoccupied with cat-calling Evans —”

“I do _not_ cat-call Evans!” James exclaimed loudly.

The entire class quieted and turned to look at him, a flustered and confused Lily included. 

“Er…” He chuckled nervously and began to twirl his wand in his hand, more out of habit than actual intent to do magic. But his frustration with his experiment and Fenwick, and his burning embarrassment and feeling of I-want-to-get-out-of-here-right-now made it so that the sticking charm that was just barely clinging to a bit of pink ribbon and white lace released its hold completely and stuck itself to Fenwick’s face. 

All the discarded pink and purple confetti, torn tissue paper, and melted candy followed suit so Fenwick looked like the nightmare before Valentine’s Day. Or like James’ Great-Aunt Sylvia after Great-Uncle Marcel dumped her to go exploring in Australia. (Great-Uncle had a mid-life crisis every five years ever since he turned fifty.)

“Sorry! Sorry!” James had to mutter the counter-charm about sixty-seven times before anyone could actually see Fenwick’s face again, but even then, some of the stuff just wouldn’t come off. 

In the meantime, Sirius was guffawing, Peter had to stuff his fist into his mouth to keep from doing the same since Flitwick was quite upset, and Remus had excused himself to the bathroom so he could howl and hoot as he pleased without ruining his good reputation as a prefect.

“That image will forever live in my mind rent free!” Mary cawed, doubling over again in a fit of giggles. “Benjy has always been a bit of an insufferable mansplainer.” 

“He means well, though, doesn’t he?” Emmeline held the little pink teddy Peter had given her carefully like she was cradling a baby. 

“You’re just saying that because blond and blue eyes are your type,” Marlene teased.

Emmeline blushed. “You’re blond and blue-eyed.”

“This one’s mine! Get your own!” Dorcas gasped and clung to Marlene’s arm, getting glitter all over it. (She’d been playing with her pink snitch until the class period ended and they had to undo all their charms work, except for Lily, because Flitwick wanted to keep it as an exemplar for future classes.) 

“Evans!” James finally left the classroom after the major clean up he’d had to do.

“Your boyfriend’s calling,” Mary teased.

“Shut it,” Lily flipped her off as she met James halfway down the corridor. “Hey.”

“Hey, I’m sorry if I went too far back there and if it’s made you uncomfortable —”

“I know you’re just teasing —”

“But I mean it though!” James’ eyes widened at his own stupidity. Why did he have such a big mouth? “I mean! I mean! I just noticed you didn’t get any Valentine’s at breakfast and I didn’t want you to feel left out or anything so — Divinationnextperiodbye!” He shoved a little pink box with a red bow into her hands and walked away quickly.

Lily’s friends immediately surrounded her again. 

“Well, what is it?” asked Mary.

“Open it, open it, open it!” urged Dorcas.

Lily tugged on the ribbons which flew up and spiraled into two roses, perching themselves in Lily’s hair. Then the box morphed into a glass case of rose gold.

“Cheater!” Marlene exclaimed. “He used Transfiguration!” 

“Oh, hush, look!” Emmeline peered into the box eagerly.

Lily smiled fondly at the little origami red fox that rolled and ran around in the little glass box. Occasionally, he would do silly things, like chase his tail, get dizzy, and plop down onto his rump, or he would run straight into the glass wall and rub his offended snout. She thought he was adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the love you've been giving this fic! I love reading all your comments! It's really motivating and it means so much to me! xx


	15. I'm a Fool for You

The Marauders returned to Gryffindor Tower early — _criminally, suspiciously_ early — on the morning of April Fool’s Day. 

James was whistling a Celestina Warbeck tune, Sirius was humming along with him, Remus was eating a bar of chocolate like the latest broadcasting of _Witching Hour: Unsolved_ was on, and Peter was refusing to look anyone in the eye. 

Suffice it to say, _everyone_ knew _something_ was up and _no one_ wanted to be the unfortunate soul to trip the wire. 

Several third-years eventually broke down from the stress and even resorted to coming to _Lily’s_ office hours to ask her to _make it stop_.

“The last time they let loose on April Fool’s, I was stuck in the owlery for _two hours!_ Every time I see an owl now, I get _PTSD symptoms!_ And the bloody things are _everywhere!_ ” The poor Muggleborn boy was near-tears. “He’s your _boyfriend!_ Can’t you _do_ something?”

James Potter was _not_ her boyfriend, but she’ll be damned if she doesn't give him a taste of his own medicine to stop him terrorizing the poor lower-years once and for all. 

At lunch in the Great Hall, Lily got a bit of everything — chicken, fish, chips, salad — and after she polished off her pumpkin juice, she was ready. 

“James!” She practically shoved Sirius off the bench as she sat next to the pleasantly surprised bespectacled boy. “You look good today. I don’t know why, but you just do.”

“Er, uh, I, um, thanks?” James tugged at his collar and loosened his tie, suddenly feeling much too hot. “So — So do you. I mean you always look good. Not just today.”

Lily propped her chin up and sighed longingly. “I don’t know how I’ve been so blind… Guess I should have my eyes checked like you, huh?” She (unnecessarily) adjusted his glasses on his face and winked. 

“I… I don’t…” James swallowed thickly, tongue darting out to wet his lips. 

Lily seemed entranced by the action and leaned in slightly. “I love, love, love you, James Fleamont Potter.” 

At this, James shook himself. “Wait, wait, wait a minute! Lily, what did you eat?”

"Oh, a bit of everything," she hummed.

" _Merlin_ — Who put love potion in the food?” He rounded on his friends first, who were always the prime suspects because they knew how to prank him best. 

“I solemnly swear it wasn’t me!” The three of them chorused. 

McGonagall came over from the heads’ table to assess the commotion. April Fool’s Day was an absolute nightmare for teachers and it was almost always the Marauders’ fault. As much as she was fond of them, it was nice to have them get a taste of their own medicine for once. Maybe they’d even forgo their pranking plans for today. “There’s nothing in the food, Mr. Potter. Although, I suggest you bring Ms. Evans to the infirmary.” 

“Yes, Professor.” He nodded.

Lily was cuddling into James’ side now as they walked to the infirmary, sending his senses into overdrive. “I love, love, love —”

“Please stop,” said James, looking sad more than annoyed at being pranked. And she’d seen him get pranked in much more embarrassing ways than having a girl hanging all over him. He’d usually bear with it and then immediately start plotting revenge to be served hot that exact same day. 

“What’s wrong, Jamesie?” she cooed, determined to stay in character. Her students were depending on her, after all. 

“I just…” He helped her sit down on one of the clean beds that weren’t covered in pus or dung or some other foul substance, as was the norm on any given April Fool’s Day. “I don’t like seeing you like this… I mean, you’re not yourself! And it… it hurts that… that you only feel this way right now…”

“Why?” Lily’s curiosity got the better of her.

“Because I love you too.” The words came out like a reflex.

Lily’s eyes widened and went from glossed-over to sparking. Expressionlessly, she said, “Happy April Fool’s, Potter.”

She hopped off the bed and stalked down the corridor. How had he managed to turn this on her and make _her_ feel like the fool? He’d been lying to her this whole time! Saying they were just friends, giving her all sorts of gifts and paying her all manner of compliments! And it hurt her even more because she knew he would’ve won her over eventually and she didn’t like being manipulated. She told him how she’d felt! Or rather, what she _didn't_ feel for him! Why couldn’t he just leave it at that? She didn't know whom she was madder at — him or herself.

For his part, James felt like maybe he'd never truly known Lily to begin with. Hadn't they been friends? And it hurt even more because she knew he'd wanted to be more! Why would she play such a mean trick on him? Perhaps there was a reason she and Snivellus had gotten along so well all this time. He didn't know whom he was madder at — her or himself.

* * *

That evening, in the Gryffindor common room, everyone still hadn’t figured out _what in Merlin’s terrible trunk of trifles_ the Marauders had done _._ Finally, Alice couldn't take it anymore. 

"Alright, you lot!" she advanced on the boys, who were helping James lick his wounds (figuratively, Sirius Black was not dumb enough to transform in public). "I'm sick of waiting on pins and needles! What. Did. You. Do?"

The Marauders shared a look.

Sirius leaned back smugly. "Nothing."

Alice blinked once, twice. 

Molly joined in as well, holding her arms akimbo. " _Nothing?_ " she repeated, her voice shrill like a banshee. “But — But — You were whistling!” She shook a finger at James. “And _you!_ ” She rounded on Remus. “You were eating your plotting chocolate bar!”

“My _what?_ ” Remus fought to keep a straight face.

“ _The one that tastes like oranges!_ ” 

"It was James' idea!" Peter cried. He was rather terrified of Molly.

Remus kicked Peter in the shin.

"James' psychologically brilliant and flawlessly executed plan?" Peter tried to redeem himself. “I mean… would you rather we _had_ done something?”

“ _No!_ ” The room chorused.

James was too busy sulking to care.

Meanwhile, Arthur was chuckling and Frank was clapping them on the back.

"Good show, lads!"

"Oh my god, don't encourage them!"

"But you have to admit, it was rather brilliant —"

"Had me there, certainly!"

"I could've sworn the proposing knights was your doing! But this is so much better!"

James just watched as Lily shot up from her seat by the fire and disappeared out the portrait hole.

Lily locked herself in a broom cupboard somewhere with one of her Muggle romance novels. She'd even left her homework in the Tower and that's how the other girls knew something was really wrong, but despite their best efforts, they couldn't find her and didn't see her again until curfew four hours later.

"Alright, Lily?" asked Emmeline.

She only grunted in response.

"You'll live it down, Lils," Mary assured her. "It's not your fault someone spiked your food with a love potion. I'm sure James doesn't think any less of y—"

"I never want to speak or hear of his name again," said Lily, her eyes stinging.

First, she'd realized that Severus had only been 'friends' with her as long as he had because he'd seen her as a girl, as a crush, someone he wanted to have. And now, James had shown his true colors too. 

"I don't want to think of him ever again either," she whispered.

But Lily had never been particularly good at getting what she really wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can tell me if you're mad at me for this. We'll work through it! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, lovelies! xx


	16. Hogsmeade

It was the last Hogsmeade weekend of the term and Lily was going it alone. Mary was with Sirius, Emmeline was with Peter, and Marlene and Dorcas were together. 

Unlike most witches and wizards who’d spent their formative years at Hogwarts, the Shrieking Shack did not strike a chilling sense of fear into her heart. She’d seen enough Muggle films growing up that a haunted house could easily be explained by booby traps and special effects. Being a witch, she also knew how many things could easily be explained by magic.

So she could marvel at the asymmetry of the structure, the way the wind came through it, making a sound like a lone wolf’s howl. 

Behind her, a twig snapped and in the rusted silver mirror, for a split-second, she saw Mulciber’s overbite, flared nostrils, and hideous bowl-cut. Then he ducked behind a rotting plank of wood. 

Lily stepped to the right slightly so she could get another angle on the mirror. Parkinson was there too. 

She steeled herself, then, as though suddenly remembering an appointment, took off in a flash towards a less abandoned part of town. 

She could hear the pair’s footsteps chasing after her, but she was smaller, lighter. She could outrun them. She _had_ to. 

Looking over her shoulder, she saw them bring their wands out from within their cloaks. 

Suddenly, the rest of the town seemed impossibly far away. 

Lily ran straight into something warm and solid. “Oof!”

“Sorry!” His voice made her freeze. 

“Potter,” she greeted him as coldly as she could muster. 

“Alright, Evans?” he asked perfunctorily, with none of his usual warmth.

Her heart was still pounding in her chest. She glanced behind her. 

Mulciber and Parkinson appeared to be casually throwing a Quaffle back and forth, but she knew better.

She turned back to James and swallowed her pride, if only for the moment. “Will you go to Hogsmeade with me?”

He’d seen Mulciber and Parkinson too by then and nodded. “Let’s go to the Three Broomsticks.”

“Thank you.” She gave him a hesitant but grateful smile. 

They walked side by side down the muddy road.

“What did they do?” asked James.

“They were following me. Over by the Shrieking Shack —”

“What were you doing over by the —”

“Well, it’s none of your business, now, is it?” she snapped.

“It’s haunted,” he said pathetically. 

Lily rolled her eyes. 

Out of habit more than anything else, James held the door open for her. He couldn’t deny his heart still swooped whenever he saw her, whenever he was near her. But he was determined to wean himself off of her. He was only accompanying her now because it was the gentlemanly thing to do. 

“Can your friends meet you here?” asked James. “Go back to the castle with you? This will be a safe, public place to be until then.”

“Yes,” Lily lied. 

James put a sickle on the counter. “One Butterbeer, please, Rosmerta.”

“You’ve got it, Handsome.” The attractive barmaid winked.

“Uh, not for me.” James backed away from the counter hesitantly. “For the redhead.” He pointed vaguely in Lily’s direction and backed out the door. 

He returned in about fifteen minutes, looking like he was about to flog someone with his broom.

“Mary is with Sirius, Emmeline is with Peter, and Marlene and Dorcas have already gone back to the castle,” he seethed at Lily. “You lied to me. I could’ve left you here all by yourself and Mulciber and Parkinson were waiting _right_ outside!” 

Lily licked the sweet Butterbeer froth off her lips. “I don’t need your protection, Potter.”

“Yeah,” he scoffed, sitting beside her and ordering his own drink. “Right.” 

Feeling guilty she said, "Thank you… for coming with me."

"It was the right thing to do."

It was her turn to scoff. "I suppose that's the line all the ladies fall over themselves for." The line she'd almost fallen for.

James frowned. "It's not a line. And you're one to talk."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she scowled.

"All I'm saying is..." James took a long swig of his Butterbeer just to further aggravate her. "I see now why you and Snivellus get along so well."

Lily resented that. She resented that so much. She slammed her empty tumbler down on the counter and stalked outside.

James tried to stay put and finish his drink. He didn't love her anymore, he didn't love her anymore, he didn't love —

"Oh, for Godric's sake," he groaned and followed her out. 

He was just in time to see Mulciber and Parkinson pull their wands on her. 

" _Expelliarmus!_ " His reflexes were quick and precise.

" _Impedimenta!_ " Lily whirled around, matching his posture like a mirror.

They locked eyes. There was one disarmed Parkinson and one felled Mulciber between them. Together, they lowered their wands.

"I'm writing you both up," Lily snarled at the Slytherins, bringing out her prefect's book of detention slips. She tore two pages off and dropped them on the ground. She'd hand her copies in to McGonagall directly.

Then, James and Lily hiked back up the hill to the castle. 

James worried his bottom lip between his teeth. "This wasn't a normal misdemeanor —"

"I know," said Lily.

"They were _targeting_ you —"

"I _know_."

"Do you have any more patrols scheduled with Malf—"

"No."

"Good."

Lily pursed her lips. "Thank you for backing me up there."

"It was the —" James stopped himself. "Yeah, sure thing."

Lily was proud, but not too proud that she couldn't apologize for a prank gone too far. And besides, since she felt certain that James had violated her trust as well, she was all for showing him up by being the bigger person. So she said, "I'm sorry. About April Fool's. If I went too far with my prank."

And just like that, James was back on the I-love-Lily-Evans train. 

"So…" He gazed upon her hopefully. "You mean —"

"What I mean is exactly what I said and nothing more," she stated firmly. 

James nodded. He would take that. He could work with that. "I'm glad we're still friends."

Lily stopped in her tracks. She wanted to tell him that they weren't. They couldn't be. Not when he would only keep trying to pursue her. She didn't love him. Why could boys never take no for an answer? 

But she needed him, didn't she? If he chose to ignore her in her time of need because she told him they weren't friends, she could end up in serious trouble. 

"No. We're not friends." There. She did _not_ use people. She was a better person than that. It _wasn't_ her pride talking. "As long as you keep harboring this foolish fancy for me, we cannot be friends."

James pushed his glasses further up his nose. "And as long as you keep insisting it's just some 'foolish fancy,' I suppose nothing I say or do will prove otherwise. But I guess that's where the 'foolish' part comes in."

They stood there, at the bottom of the Grand Staircase, looking at each other, but not quite seeing each other. Then they parted ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No thoughts? Head empty? In a good way, I hope? 
> 
> You're always welcome to yell at me in the comments :)
> 
> Take care, lovelies xx


	17. I Love People Who Make Me Laugh

The morning after the full moon, James was sitting to the right of Remus’ reserved private bed in the Hogwarts Infirmary. Sirius was to the left and Peter was at the foot. 

The young werewolf was no longer bleeding through his bandages, thanks to Madam Pomfrey’s excellent skills as a Healer, but for at least a week, he would be in pain no matter what he did. He would be sore. And he would be miserable that he simply didn’t have enough energy to attend all his classes. 

This always made James very upset. Now, he was especially angry because the night could have ended much, much worse. 

“Why?” he asked Sirius, voice low and hard. 

“Why what?” Sirius jutted his sharp chin forward, daring James to come at him like he meant it.

Peter sensed an argument coming and cast a silencing charm over Remus’ bed so that they wouldn’t wake him.

“Why would you do something so _bloody stupid?_ ” James hissed. “Snape could have _died_ . Moony could have _killed_ him —”

“It’d serve the bastard right,” Sirius scoffed. 

“And do you think _Moony_ deserves to live with that?” James roared. 

Peter recoiled reflexively and covered his ears. 

Sirius remained silent.

“Were you thinking _at all?_ ” James continued. “If a student, even someone as unpopular as Snape, were killed by a _werewolf_ , there would be an investigation and what do you think they would find?” 

“Nothing!” Sirius declared stoutly. “Because we won’t let them —”

“And they say _I’m_ foolhardy.” James rolled his eyes. “They would find, _Padfoot_ ,” He spoke his best friend’s nickname like an insult, “that exactly _one_ student takes ill every month the week after a full moon and a simple silver test would prove their suspicions. Moony would be taken away from us. _Forever_ . Taken away from his family. Treated like a _beast_ . Like an _outcast_. Like a —”

Peter’s lip was trembling now and his blue eyes were tearing up. “Prongs, please stop. Please, it’s too terrible to think of when it’s not going to happen. You saved Snape. Moony is safe —”

“No, I bloody won’t stop, Wormtail!” James snapped. “Because now Snape _knows_ — He _knows_ Moony’s secret, which we’ve been trying _so hard_ to keep since the third year —”

“We _literally_ call him Moony,” Sirius deadpanned, narrowing his grey eyes into slits, his handsome cheekbones somehow further enhanced by the tight clench of his jaw. “And talk about him having a _furry little problem_ —”

“It’s not the same thing and you _know_ it!”

“Snivellus didn’t _have_ to do what I said!”

“ _You_ shouldn’t have said anything at all!”

Peter finally jumped up, his chair scraping back on the linoleum. His bottom lip was quivering and his eyes were splotchy red from crying. “Out! Both of you! Now! My silencing charms aren’t great yet and I don’t know how well this one will hold! We need to make sure Moony gets his rest!”

James and Sirius glared at each other, nostrils flaring, fingers twitching for their wands. 

“Yeah,” said Sirius, his voice sharp. “Let’s step outside, shall we? Sort this out like wizards.”

James strutted out in step with him. “Yes, let’s do that. Maybe if I hex you into the next century, you’ll come back with some common sense!”

The second they’d stepped out of the Hospital Wing, their wands were drawn and jinxes were flying every which way. 

Several students on their way to the Great Hall for breakfast had to find another way around, but most of them just stopped to watch because James and Sirius were both evenly matched duelists at the top of their game, yet they hardly ever dueled each other. 

“Oi!” came a voice James could recognize anywhere. “No dueling in the corridors! Potter! Black! I’m writing you both up! Stop this!” Lily tugged on the end of her braid in frustration as she couldn’t seem to get close enough to disarm either of them. “Where the _bloody_ _hell_ is Remus when you need him?”

James’ heart gave a painful pang and his anger at Sirius only increased. 

“ _Caput Maxima!_ ” Sirius grunted while James was distracted.

James felt his head begin to inflate and lift his feet up off the ground. “ _Cescere Comas!_ ” 

Sirius’ already long black hair instantly grew long enough for him to trip over. His eyebrows lengthened so his eyes were completely covered as well. “ _Camcame Loqueris!_ ” 

James felt the spell hit him, but nothing happened. He quickly cast a silent counter-curse to Sirius’ big-head hex and dropped back to the ground, landing on his feet. 

Lily took advantage of the interruption to disarm them both. “You will have to get your wands from me if you need them for class today and return them at the end of the period. You never need them in Divination, do you? That’s the only class we don’t share.”

Sirius, who was looking more like a dark-haired muppet by the minute, just held up his fisted hands. “I don’t need a wand to give you what for, Prongs! Come at me, you sodding wanker!” 

‘I don’t think he can hear you. Too much hair in his ears.’ is what James wanted to say. What he actually ended up saying, was, “The beauty in a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.”

“So that’s what that last hex did!” Lily realized. There was an unbridled look of wonder in her green eyes, despite her imminent duties as a prefect, which she needed to attend to. “Wait, try to say something else!”

This time, James wanted to say, ‘So much for not being friendly with me, Evans.’ But all that came out was, “True friends are the family which you can select.” 

“Huh,” Lily mused, “I wonder if it’s just Audrey Hepburn quotes or quotes in general. Anyway, could you write down the counter-curse for the jinx you put on Sirius, please?” She handed him a parchment and quill.

He wrote: _We haven’t yet developed a counter-curse for the Muppet Jinx. Or the Audrey Hepburn quote generator._

Lily’s lips quirked up in amusement as she read this. Then she said, “Very well, then I suppose this is punishment enough for both of you and I’ll just file it as a warning.”

‘How generous of you,’ James wished he could sass her, but all that came out was, “Giving is living. If you stop wanting to give, there’s nothing more to live for.”

“How true.” Lily smiled, clearly enjoying this, which only served to sour James’ mood further. She seemed to sense it and added, “Aw, chin up, Potter. I believe, every day, you should have at least one exquisite moment. This could be yours.” 

Despite himself, James laughed. Maybe it was the stress of the night before or maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t a clue how he and his best friend might sort out what was happening between them. (Sirius was now ruthlessly cutting off his locks, even setting fire to the ends so that they burned as quickly as they grew, but he still looked very much like a muppet.)

In any case, James needed to laugh, even if it was at himself. More than that, he needed the feeling of laughing _with_ someone, even if that someone didn’t particularly like him. 

“I love people who make me laugh,” he found himself saying while looking directly at Lily, into those lively green eyes, at that smile full of mirth. The implication was very clear to everyone present (and by then quite a few people, students and teachers alike, were present) — _You_ make me laugh, I love people who make me laugh, therefore I love _you_.

Lily took a shallow, shuddering breath. The way he was looking at her should be illegal. But it was all just one big accident, wasn’t it? Because he might not have meant to say that word — love. They were talking about laughing. He was just quoting Audrey because of Sirius’ stupid hex. 

James, in a panic as well at Lily’s lack of a reaction, began reciting other related quotes, “I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot.” Nope, that was a bad idea. He chuckled nervously, running an agitated hand through his mussed bed-head. This was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Audrey Hepburn has such convenient quotes, does she not?? ;))
> 
> Thank you all sooooo much for the love and support you've shown me and this fic!! It truly brightens my days replying to you with not-spoilers in the comments and getting kudos email notifs and just 🤗😘🤗😘🤗😘 You're the best!!!


	18. Out of Focus

James was determined not to ask Evans to tutor him — Yes, he was back to calling her ‘Evans,’ since she seemed adamant about calling him ‘Potter.’ But everything was wearing him out lately — the fact that Evans would seemingly never reciprocate his feelings, the fact that he and Sirius still weren’t speaking and the fact that Remus wasn’t better yet (and when he _did_ get better, he deserved to be able to focus on his own studies instead of trying to help his hopeless mates). 

So there he was, outside the door of the prefects’ office, psyching himself up to knock. 

“Potter, unless you’ve somehow developed the ability to see through solid wood,” Lily’s voice carried out into the corridor where he was stood, “I suggest you either come in or stop blocking the door.” 

James let himself in. Lily was hunched over the desk, pouring over her Transfiguration revisions. One flimsy quill in dire need of replacement was in her hand, and another was in her hair, keeping it in some semblance of an up-do. 

“Can you please shut the door?” she asked without looking up. “There’s a draft coming in behind you.”

“It’s... the middle of spring?” James closed the door anyway.

“It’s always drafty in a medieval castle,” Lily sniffed.

James noticed the tissues in the wastebasket and that she seemed to be wearing all the jumpers she owned, including the one he’d knitted for her, which she’d been refusing to wear ever since April 1st. “Hay fever, huh?”

“I really hope you didn’t come to make small talk. I actually have revisions to do.”

“I’ll trade you,” he said. “Transfig for Potions.”

“I don’t need —” Lily stopped herself. She’d been going around in circles with the stupid logic of Transfiguring a cat into a slipper in a box versus out of a box for the better part of the afternoon. She’d already asked McGonagall to explain it to her again twice and dreaded asking a third time. So she said, “Fine. What do you need to know?”

“You first. You look like you just duked it out with the Giant Squid.” 

Lily rolled her eyes and explained her cat-slipper problem. 

“Oh, it’s Schrodinger’s!” James lit up. “You know, the Muggle psychologist? It’s kind of like that, but not, but it’s a good place to start. Do you know it?”

Lily nodded and tried her hardest to pay attention to what he was saying, but her head was pounding, her hands were too cold while the rest of her was too warm, and James’ weird wizarding cologne was _not_ helping and neither was his just-this-side-of-aggravating asymmetrically tied tie. He’d drawn the same diagram about ten times in his efforts to explain in more detail or in a different way, but she couldn’t get her eyes to focus. 

“You still don’t get it, do you?” James eventually sighed in defeat. 

Lily shook her head, actually feeling a little guilty, realizing he’d been trying to help her for almost the entire office hour. “Let me see if I can help you with Potions. I’m covering for Remus again today, so we can stick around.” 

James nodded, but now _he_ was the one distracted. Peter would be out of his extra-help course now and be taking over from Sirius at the Hospital Wing. The Marauders always liked to make sure at least one of them was with Remus at all times during his recovery. James wondered if Sirius would tell Remus about his horrendous mistake on his own or if Remus would have to find out when Snape said or did something that hinted at the fact that he bloody well _knew_. 

“Earth to Potter?” Lily waved her hand back and forth in front of her face. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, reaching a finger under his glasses to rub his eyes. “I feel pretty dense today. Maybe I ought to come back some other —”

“You know, if you just remind Slughorn who your dad is, I’m sure he’d be happy to tutor you,” she said. “And he’d probably do a better job of it than me.”

James felt like she was trying to get rid of him, but he didn’t say so. He also didn’t say that he wasn’t going to use his father's clout, not even on Sluggy who was always very ripe for it. “Right, thanks then. Cheers.”

He had to sort things out with Sirius once and for all. And they had to get their story straight before they told it to Remus. He could _not_ know what had almost happened that full moon. He’d start thinking crazy things, like that he ought to drop out of Hogwarts because he was a danger to the other students. They couldn’t let him do that. Not when being here made him so happy.

To James' surprise, Sirius was waiting for him in the Gryffindor common room. 

“Peter made brownies,” Sirius held out a plate. “And… he said… I had some explaining to do… to you.”

James nodded, accepting the peace offering and they went upstairs to their dorm. 

“I’m listening,” said James.

“You should know that everything I’m about to say is no excuse, and I don’t care if you all hate me now. I don’t care if Moony would hate me if he knew, but the thing is he _can’t_ know. It… It would destroy him. He’d want to leave Hogwarts. Maybe even leave the wizarding world, I don’t know! But I solemnly swear, I’m not saying this because I don’t want Moony to think badly of me. I want to take care of him, same as you.”

James’ posture relaxed and his expression softened. “Agreed. Continue.”

Sirius relaxed some too, enough to start pacing instead of standing ramrod straight like he was afraid of setting off a dung bomb if he moved. “Alright, alright… so… My… mother… as you know, is… is… well, she’s batshit crazy, right? So I’m about… sixty-percent certain that she’s up to something when Reg stopped nodding at me in the corridors last year, right?”

“Right,” said James. “But we’ve since established that it was just Reg being a git. Being in Slytherin for too long tends to do that to people.”

“Yeah, yeah, but… Sniv—Snape… he…”

James felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. Sirius was hardly ever the type to talk things through with people, so sometimes he needed to be helped along. “He what, Padfoot?” James put a kind hand on his best friend’s shoulder. 

“He said that Reg would do so much better than me, that he was making a place for himself in the ‘future of the wizarding world,’ whatever bollocks that means and of course, I immediately thought of mother and her subscription to this elitist newsletter —”

“There’s an elitist newsletter?” James raised his eyebrows, thinking of Riddle and his organization. 

"Yeah, just started in the new year, some pompous prick, calls himself Lord Voldemort," Sirius sniffed derisively. "Je peux parler français aussi, connard, ça ne veut pas dire que je ne suis pas un idiot — Attends une minute..." (I speak French too, arsehole, that doesn't mean I'm not an idiot — Wait a minute…)

James chuckled fondly. He could understand that much. Sometimes he forgot that before Hogwarts, Sirius had actively tried to become the traditional pure-blooded ideal: proficient in languages, arts, and of course, magic, especially dark magic. Now the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black used his many skills exclusively to mock the society that had birthed him.

"I wouldn't have let him get to me so much if I hadn't gotten that blasted owl from Mother in the first place," Sirius was saying.

James snapped to attention. "What owl? Did you sniff it first at least? Make sure she didn't —"

"Of course!" Sirius bowed his head slightly. "I… I didn't tell you because… Just didn't feel like it, is all… but she said if I didn't come home again this summer to 'fulfill my duties,' whatever that means, they'd disown me and have me blacklisted so I'll never find work, never be able to travel, the whole deal…" He looked at James with all his defenses down, without any of his pretenses or any of his usual bravado. "Prongs, I'm scared. I'm scared about what they'd have me do — what they'd have Reg do in my stead —"

"There's no need to fear, Padfoot," James said immediately, quashing his anger at Walburga, Snape, Malfoy, Riddle — every last one of them — so that he could give his friend the comfort he needed. "You'll stay with us this summer, like always. And every summer, every season after that. And you're only as blacklisted as far as the people who are willing to offer you work. Father's going to need more help than just me to run the business. As for traveling, Sirius might not be able to, but _Padfoot_ is an entirely different story, innit?" 

Sirius looked at him like it was all too good to be true. 

While the sight warmed James' heart, it also hardened it against his enemies, the people who would — who _have_ — hurt his friends. "You're like a brother to me, Pads. You _are_ a brother to me. And Reg is welcome to stay too if he wants."

Sirius hugged him tightly and didn't let go for a good minute. "I love you, mate, and I solemnly swear I'm not just saying that because I'm basically going to be freeloading off of you for the rest of my life."

"Nonsense," James replied gruffly. 

While Sirius went off right away to find Reg and extend the invitation to him, James went straight towards his nearest target, Snape. He felt much better after lobbing a few choice hexes his way. The oily bastard was sporting boils, swamp-smelling robes, and farting shoes for two weeks straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've heard of James Potter the mama hen, but now that I've considered James Potter the mama bear, I don't think I'm ever looking back 😂
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading, and commenting, and leaving kudos!! Checking my email is so much more fun now thanks to y'all brightening my days, so :))


	19. A Lesson in Defence

After the disaster that was inter-house dueling for the new DADA Practical O.W.L. Exam, the professors decided that starting this year, students would only duel their peers from within their own house. By some stroke of (bad) luck, James and Lily were paired against each other and were now both bedridden in the hospital wing with mere hours to recover before the written portion.

"I hate you," said Lily from under a growing mound of bright red hair.

"We've established that," James quipped back.

He'd used the Muppet Jinx on her, but she'd invented a few of her own that were plaguing him, including a spell on his glasses that made him see things that weren't really there. Like a hippogriff that completely blocked his view and allowed her to hit him with three stinging hexes consecutively. He'd already run out of spare glasses from bludgers to the face during the match against Ravenclaw, so the jinxed ones couldn't be replaced.

" _Necappillum!_ " Lily was still trying to figure out a counter-curse for all the hair. 

"You could wait until the bones in your wand arm grow back," James suggested.

She turned to him and though he could not see her eyes, he felt like she was glaring at him. 

"You're just lucky I'm ambidextrous or the Skele-Gro wouldn't work in time for me to write the rest of my exams. And it would be all your fault." Lily continued to experiment with different wand movements. " _Necappillum!_ "

"You could try saying it like the two words that it is —"

"Will you shut it?"

"I'm just trying to help! Which is more than you're doing for me!"

" _Nec cappillum!_ " said Lily and the hair receded to its normal state. "Oh, thank _Merlin_ , I can breathe again!" 

"I'd love to be able to see again too," James huffed.

Lily took pity on him and decided to try to help him fix his glasses. " _Perspicuitati!_ "

"Already tried that."

" _Perspicuitati Claritas!_ "

"Now you're just saying 'clarity' twice —"

"Well, I'm sorry, not all of us could take Latin as a second language in primary school!"

"I'll have you know I was homeschooled —"

"That explains your lack of social graces —"

"Hey! Don't bring my mother into this!"

"I'm not. I'm sure she did her best."

"Oh-ho, very funny."

" _Spectra Expurgo!_ " 

"And… You've managed to vanish the lenses entirely!"

"I'm sorry!" Lily cried. 

"You literally made up a spell specifically targeted to me —"

"It just _happened_ to hit your glasses —"

"— do you really hate me that much?"

"— are you _really_ that conceited?"

" _Reverso Prima!_ " James muttered, hoping he could undo his way back to his original spectacles. To his surprise, it worked, but only because Lily had disappeared the jinxed lenses in the first place. "Ha! You forgot to factor in —"

"Do you _want_ me to make sure I include an extra lateral wand swipe to make it permanent next time?" Lily asked through gritted teeth, grabbing her book bag and notes to leave for the written portion of the DADA O.W.L.

James stood as well, only he had no bags and no notes. He was arrogantly confident that way. 

* * *

Sunshine was streaming through the high windows onto the students’ bent heads, which shone chestnut and copper and gold in the bright light. 

James and Lily were both the first to look up from their exam sheets and made eye contact in their survey of the room. Lily turned away immediately to begin her review. 

James turned away to stare daggers at Snape, who had a stringy, pallid look about him, like a plant kept in the dark. Only that wasn’t due to the long nights that revisions often necessitated. He always looked like that, his hair lank and greasy, flopping onto the table, his hooked nose barely half an inch from the surface of the parchment as he scribbled.

James allowed himself to become so wholly absorbed in his anger at what Snape had said to Sirius about his family. To top it all off, Snape had managed to get to Reg first and convince him not to accept the Potters’ invitation to stay the summer. James grimaced, deep in thought: Grimmauld Place would not be safe, not for Reg, not with his big brother gone. 

“Five more minutes!”

James pretended to look busy as Professor Flitwick walked past him. Once Flitwick was out of his line of sight, he turned in his seat and grinned at Sirius, who was sitting four seats behind him.

Sirius gave James the thumbs-up. 

Next, he checked on Remus. He looked rather pale and peaky as they were approaching another full moon, but otherwise, he was absorbed in the exam.

Last but not least, James looked a couple of rows ahead at Peter, who was chewing his fingernails, staring down at his paper, scuffing the ground with his toes. 

James absently started doodling on a bit of scrap parchment. He had drawn a Snitch and was now tracing the letters 'L.E.'.

He figured, and this was shoddy logic, he knew, that if he let himself indulge in the little things that came with being hopelessly in love with someone, he would learn to let go of the bigger things.

“Quills down, please!” squeaked Professor Flitwick. “That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _Accio!_ ”

James hastily crossed out the 'L.E.' he had been embellishing, jumped to his feet, stuffed his quill and the exam paper into his bag, which he slung over his back, and stood, waiting for Sirius to join him.

“Did you like question ten, Moony?” asked Sirius as they emerged into the Entrance Hall.

“Loved it,” said Remus briskly. “Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question.”

“D'you think you managed to get all the signs?” asked James in tones of mock concern.

“Think I did,” said Remus seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. “One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin.”

Peter was the only one who didn't laugh. James’ own chuckle came out forced because he’d just caught sight of Snivellus again and the disgusting prat’s very existence was grating on his nerves.

“I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail,” Peter was saying anxiously, “but I couldn't think what else —”

“How thick are you, Wormtail?” said James impatiently. “You run ‘round with a werewolf once a month —”

“Keep your voice down,” implored Remus.

The Marauders strode off down the lawn towards the lake. 

“Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake,” Sirius was saying. “I'll be surprised if I don't get Outstanding on it at least.”

“Me too,” said James. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch.

“Where'd you get that?”

“Nicked it,” said James casually. (From an unsuspecting Benjy Fenwick who'd had the nerve to score better than him on the Charms O.W.L. two days prior.) He started playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again; his reflexes were excellent. 

Peter watched him in awe.

They stopped in the shade of a beech tree on the edge of the lake and threw themselves down on the grass.

The sunlight was dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which Lily and her friends were sitting, with their shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water. 

Remus had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so. James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping, but he always grabbed it at the last second. 

“It’s going to take more than that to get Lily’s attention,” observed Peter.

“Hmm?” James had been too busy looking at the girl in question, playing by the water’s edge, to hear what Peter had said. 

The blond boy sighed. “Allow me.” 

Peter proceeded to watch James with a gaping, sort of idolizing look. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Peter gasped and applauded. 

“Put that away, will you,” said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Peter let out a cheer, “before Wormtail wets himself with excitement.”

“Was only trying to help.” Peter turned slightly pink, but James grinned.

“If it bothers you,” he said, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket.

“I'm bored,” said Sirius. “Wish it was full moon.”

“You might,” said Remus darkly from behind his book. “We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here . . .” and he held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. “I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.”

“This'll liven you up, Padfoot,” said James quietly. “Look who it is.”

Sirius's head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.

“Excellent,” he said softly. “Snivellus.”

Snape was on his feet again and was stowing the O.W.L. paper in his bag. As he left the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up.

“All right, Snivellus?” said James loudly.

Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack. _Rightly so_ , James thought darkly. _You mess with my people, you mess with me._

James shouted, “ _Expelliarmus!_ ”

Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

“ _Impedimenta!_ ” he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.

James and Sirius advanced on Snape, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Lily already hated him. What did it matter what he did now? She probably didn’t like Snape much anymore anyway.

“How'd the exam go, Snivelly?” he asked patronizingly.

“I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,” said Sirius viciously. It encouraged James to see some life coming into his brother’s eyes. “There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word.”

Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

“You — wait,” he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, “you — wait!”

“Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?”

“You’re all going to fucking burn! You and your family of half-breed mutts and blood-traitors, Potter, you son of a bitch!” Snape let out a stream of hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

“Wash out your mouth,” said James coldly. No one insults his family and friends in front of him and gets away with it. “ _Scourgify!_ ”

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him.

“Leave him _alone!_ ”

James and Sirius looked around. James's free hand immediately jumped to his hair.

“All right, Evans?” said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.

“Leave him alone,” Lily repeated. She was looking at him with every sign of great dislike. “What's he done to you?”

 _Nothing to lose_ , James reminded himself. _She hates you already. Might as well go down fighting._ “Well, it's more the fact that he exists if you know what I mean . . .”

Many of the surrounding students laughed, but Lily didn’t.

“You think you're funny,” she said coldly. “But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.”

“I will if you go out with me, Evans,” said James quickly. Oh, yeah, this whole ‘nothing to lose’ attitude was liberating indeed. “Go on — go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.”

That caught Lily off guard and confused her greatly. On one hand, she didn’t want that kind of relationship with him, on the other, she appreciated that he was forthcoming about his intentions now, and back to the other hand, _what was going on in his brain that made him think he could blackmail her into going out with him?_

Behind them, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soap suds as he crawled.

“I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” she said finally.

“Bad luck, Prongs,” said Sirius briskly, and turned back to Snape. “ _Oi!_ ”

But he was too late. Snape had directed his wand straight at James. There was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood. 

Lily recognized the spell as the one she’d seen him practicing in the abandoned Potions classroom, but it was different now. He could have taken James’ head off if he’d aimed better!

James whirled about. " _Levicorpus!_ " 

Snape hung upside-down in the air, robes falling over his greasy head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered. Sirius, James, and Peter roared with laughter.

Lily smiled with satisfaction. James had it handled. Then she remembered that she was _still_ a prefect, dammit! She couldn’t let them get away with bullying other students right in front of her! So she put on her best scowl. “Potter! Let him down!”

“'Certainly,” said James and he jerked his wand upwards. Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. 

Snape disentangled himself from his robes and got to his feet quickly, wand up, but Sirius said, “ _Petrificus Totalus!_ ”

“ _Leave him alone!_ ” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. 

James and Sirius eyed it warily.

“Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you,” said James earnestly.

“Take the curse off him, then!”

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.

“There you go,” he said, as Snape struggled to his feet. “You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus —”

“I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!” Snape spat.

Lily blinked. “Fine,” she said coolly. “I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.”

At the same time, James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him. “Apologise to Evans!” 

“I don't want you to make him apologize!” Lily rounded on James. “You're as bad as he is!”

“What?” yelped James. “I’d _never_ call you a — a — you-know-what!”

“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch —” Ah, so she _had_ noticed. “— walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me _sick_.” She turned on her heel and hurried away.

“Evans!” James shouted after her. “Hey, _Evans!_ ”

But she didn't look back.

“What is it with her?” he asked, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

“Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate,” Sirius quipped, eager as ever to get James off the I-love-Evans train.

“Right,” said James. She had him all wrong, though! He wasn’t hexing Snape out of annoyance, he was defending his friends! It was more than annoyance — it was fury. “Right.” He leveled his wand at Snape and hung him upside down again. “Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?”

* * *

**Bonus Scene:**

" _Prongs!_ " Remus finally shut his book and jumped to his feet. 

The crowd that was chanting, "Do it! Do it! Do it!" fell silent. 

James turned to face his friend and Snape fell to the ground behind him, pants still on. 

Remus just gave James a look that said, 'That's quite enough.'

James ruffled his hair, looking like he was about to cry. 

Sirius still had his wand pointed at Snape, keeping the greasy boy from diving for his own wand. 

"Pads," Remus said quietly. 

"What?" Sirius barked.

"He should have never said what he did to you —"

"Damn right!"

"He should have never said what he did to Reg —"

"If _anything_ happens to my little brother —"

"You should be more concerned about what's going to happen _you!_ " Snape growled.

"— you're a dead man!" Sirius threatened, his wand-arm shaking with barely-contained anger.

"This will feel like a massage compared to what we'll do to you if you _ever_ cross us like this again," James added before stalking away with his friends. 

"Would you really kill him, Padfoot?" Peter shivered, suddenly not having as much fun anymore.

"There's no telling, Wormy," Sirius glowered darkly.

James didn't like the sound of that. Looking back on everything that had transpired, he didn't like the way _he'd_ sounded. He wasn't a bully. He wasn't like Snape. Except he had been. He shook his head vehemently, looking down at his wand like he didn't recognize it. "I wouldn't let you, Padfoot. And you have to promise not to let me either."

Sirius just huffed.

"I read that Dark magic splits the soul," Peter tried anxiously. "You don't want that to happen to you, Padfoot. _We_ don't want that to happen to you."

Sirius reached over and ruffled the blond's fine hair, but he still didn't give them an answer.

"Be the friend who helps the others bury the body, not the one who brings the body to bury," Remus quipped.

"That was terrible advice!" said James.

"That actually makes a lot of sense!" said Sirius at the same time. "I'd never want to trouble you lads like that." 

"That... I don't even know how to feel about that," said Peter a second later.

James sighed. "Right, now that we've successfully convinced ourselves not to commit Murder One, we should try to talk to Reg again."

The boys murmured in agreement and they used the map to find him, but the second Regulus saw them approaching, he cast _Muffliato_ , so he wouldn't hear a word they said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I copped sections of Snape's Worst Memory for this and provided the context that is the Marauders' point of view. You're welcome ;)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, lovelies!! Let me know what you think! xx


	20. It's a Save the World Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end of fifth year.

James figured that a surefire way of deterring future bigot meetings in, what he had dubbed, the Come-and-Go Room was to throw an impromptu party there every time he saw the usual Slytherin crew exit their common room.

It was the eve of the last day of classes. Their professors had gone over NEWT-level requirements and met with students one-on-one to advise them on their continuing education, so everyone was already sufficiently stressed about next year before the summer holidays could even start. 

James was lazily watching the map (because the stupid alerts were broken again) when he noticed Malfoy, Rosier, and Yaxley exit the Slytherin common room. They weren't the usual crowd. It seemed more students were being recruited all the time. James loathed the day he’d see Reg among them. He worried it was only a matter of time since the younger Black brother still refused to speak with any of them. James had even talked to Reg and Sirius’ cousin Andromeda, but she couldn’t get through either. 

He flipped over to the library, which Snape, Narcissa, and Parkinson were just leaving as well. 

"Stinky!" James summoned the house-elf. "Invite all the houses to the Come-and-Go Room for an end of year bash, will you? Tell them Sirius is bringing Firewhiskey or something to get them to come. Remind them that the profs and prefects can't serve detention anymore, which reminds me, invite the prefects and head students too!"

"Yes, sir, Master Potter!" Stinky saluted. "The usual menu as well?"

"Yes, please." James rifled around his trunk for his cloak. "Padfoot!" he bellowed.

Sirius bounded up the stairs. "You called?"

James threw the cloak at him and his upper body promptly disappeared. "Fetch us some Firewhiskey, would you?" 

"Why am I always the errand boy?" Sirius whined. "Let Wormtail do it! He needs the exercise!"

"I almost got caught last time!" Peter came up the stairs as well, panting heavily. "We can't risk the cloak like that!"

"He's right, Padfoot," said James. "Besides, I need him to get Filch out of the way."

"Oh-ho, no!" Peter suddenly didn't mind going on an errand now. "I am _not_ about to play cat and mouse with Mrs. Norris again!"

"Well, if you've got a better idea, I'm all ears!" James noticed one very important person missing from their number. " _Moony!_ "

Slow, languid footsteps echoed up the stairwell. "Please not another party I have to pretend not to know anything about! You can't have too much of a good thing, Prongs!"

James just grinned. "Watch me. I need you and your brilliantly organized mind to create a disco for us in the Come-and-Go Room. A real Muggle one with a light-up dancefloor and mirrorball!"

"Haven't we done a disco theme already?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"No, that was a roller derby disco," James explained dismissively. "This is a normal disco. With proper dancing and stuff! Padfoot, are you still here?"

"Sorry!" Sirius' voice came out of nowhere. "I'm going, I'm going…"

"Excellent! You get going, Moony, and just let people in as they arrive. Come on, Wormtail. You know Filch and Norris are much easier to deal with than the Slytherin prefects, eh?" James had assigned that task to himself. "You'll be at the party in no time."

Bravely, Peter set his jaw and nodded, leaving with Remus.

James took up the map again, locating Burke, Greengrass, Pucey, Lestrange, Narcissa Black, and Lucius Malfoy. Piece of cake.

He stuffed his wand into his cloak and went downstairs. 

"Potter." Lily stopped him in the common room. "What's this about a party after curfew?"

"It's at least another hour to curfew, Evans." James crossed his arms defensively.

"And since when have parties taken place in their entirety within the span of an hour?"

"Were you not invited? Is that what you're so sour about?" He made a face at her.

"I am a prefect, so I have to tell you to put a stop to this."

"Consider me told." James brushed past her. He didn't care. He didn't care. He didn't -- oh for Godric's sake. "And if you must know, Evans, seeing as it's our last day and all, prefects are invited this time."

He hopped out the portrait hole quickly before she could answer. He didn't think he could bear it if she'd said no, as she was likely to.

* * *

Once all the Slytherin prefects were safely stunned and locked away in broom cupboards throughout the castle, James headed up to the seventh-floor corridor and thought about how much he wanted to see his friends. 

The door appeared and he let himself in. 

The disco was in full swing. 

"Alright, Prongs?" asked Remus.

"Alright, Moony!" James yelled over the music. "Go on, have fun!" 

"Me? Never!" Remus scoffed, but ambled towards the dancefloor anyway.

Peter was present and a quick check of the map revealed to James that Filch and Norris were otherwise occupied at the Quidditch pitch. 

And Sirius had managed to sweet-talk Aberforth into giving him no less than seven crates of Firewhiskey. 

James spotted Frank's neon yellow fedora nearby and made his way over to play host. 

Behind him, the doors swung open and there stood Andromeda Black, head girl, Amelia Bones, Hufflepuff prefect, and Lily Evans, Gryffindor prefect. They looked like the cover of a girl band album in their matching uniforms and badges.

Everybody froze and the record scratched to a halt. Remus was stopped mid-boogie, while Sirius and Mary finally separated their mouths from each other long enough to catch a breath. Peter had spilled Firewhiskey all over Emmeline's dress when he'd jumped in surprise, but she was too panicked to notice. Marlene and Dorcas were the first to speak.

"Hey, girls --"

"We were just --"

"-- end of the year --"

"-- it's not like anyone can serve detention anymore --"

"-- not doing any harm --"

"-- haven't you always wanted to go to a proper disco --"

"-- with dancing and stuff?"

The prefects and head girl exchanged several looks.

Then they scanned the crowd and Andromeda said, "Oh, Ted! Well, if you're here, I suppose it's alright."

The Ravenclaw and Head Boy approached her shyly and asked for a dance. 

The music started up again and Amelia and Lily blended in with the crowd as well. 

"Hey." James came up to them. "Firewhiskey?"

"Yes, please." Amelia.

"No, thank you." Lily.

James nodded awkwardly and passed a shot to Amelia before downing the second shot intended for Lily. 

"Nice party, Potter." Amelia winked.

"It was all Remus and Sirius." James smiled modestly.

"Sure." Amelia said it playfully, but Lily's tone was entirely skeptical.

"I'm… just gonna..." Amelia backed away in the direction of Benjy Fenwick, who was owning the dancefloor with a rendition of 'Stayin' Alive.' 

James and Lily just stared at each other for a solid minute after that.

Lily was wondering just what she was doing here. She didn't have a date, her friends were all occupied, and James was standing there looking slightly sweaty and disheveled with his hair sticking up everywhere like he'd just run off the Quidditch pitch and she doesn't like James, so _what is she doing here?_

"Do you like this song?" he asked her.

Lily shrugged. "I prefer the Carpenters."

"Muggles make songs out of carpentry sounds?" James leaned in subconsciously, genuinely interested.

Lily fought the urge to laugh. Can't have him think he's funny or anything. His head might explode. "You really should consider taking Muggle Studies."

"I will be, actually." He'd asked his parents to subscribe to Riddle's elitist newsletter for reconnaissance purposes and the more he read, the more he realized how much he needed to educate himself on the _facts_ , otherwise he could end up just as prejudiced, just as bigoted as the worst of their lot. "It's all arranged with McGonagall. The time table for Ancient Runes is moving to the afternoon, so it will conflict with just the first half-hour of Care of Magical Creatures, but as long as I do the readings beforehand, I should be able to participate in the practical no problem --" James stopped himself once he realized he was rambling, trying to give himself _words_ to focus on instead of the way Lily's red hair glowed in the disco lights, the way her peridot eyes were shining, the way her cute little feet did a cute little two-step every now and again when she really liked a particular beat and couldn't help herself. 

"Wait, if Ancient Runes is moving to the afternoon, that means it'll conflict with Arithmancy!" Lily panicked. McGonagall hadn't mentioned this!

"Evans, NEWT-level Arithmancy has one-hour periods, not two."

"How do you kno--nevermind, wizarding parents. Right."

"Yeah…" James scratched the back of his neck. "If you ever have any questions about anything graduation-related or getting into the work-force --"

"I'll be sure to ask Marlene," Lily finished firmly. "Her family's all magical too."

"Right, yeah." James nodded pathetically. "Evans, can I say something and you never have to speak to me again afterwards if you don't want to, but will you at least hear me out for the whole of it?"

Well, when he asked so politely, how could she say no? Lily nodded.

James shoved his hands in his pockets and licked his lips. "I… I don't know that I'm ever going to stop… caring for you… the way that I do… I don't know _how_ to stop and believe me, I've tried… been trying… I'm sorry that you feel like… that means we can't be friends… but I _can_ be a good friend, even if I also want to be more… I _have_ been a good friend to you, haven't I?"

Lily took a deep breath. "You were. I'm… I'm sorry I made you feel… Thank you for telling me… all this… It does provide some clarity… It's not that you weren't a good friend, it's just that… knowing you wanted more from me… more that I… I can't give you… I can't accept what I can't return."

"I don't want it back!" James stepped closer to her.

She backed away reflexively. 

James leaned back to give her more room. More quietly, he said, "You give love hoping someone will accept it. That's all. I don't want it back."

"You say that now." Lily shook her head sadly. "But you will want it. Someday. And you'll be terribly unhappy with me and I will be terribly unhappy for you and we'll both be so incredibly miserable with each other."

Lily turned around so he wouldn't see her cry. Petunia, Severus, they'd both wanted a kind of love and understanding from her that she could not give, was not capable of giving. She wasn't a saint, some days she thought she was just barely a good person. She wasn't ready for a relationship. 

"Evans?" James called her name gently, lovingly.

And Lily couldn't take it. She ran out of the Come-and-Go Room and down the Grand Staircase, hopping onto one of the moving stairs as it pivoted away from the landing.

"Evans!" James hissed in the dark. "Oh, bugger…" he muttered and tried to find another way down to her, but it was no use. 

By the time he got to the Gryffindor common room, she was already upstairs and though he waited the whole night, she didn't come down. 

He wasn't able to speak to her again before the summer was upon them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is me hoping to convince you that this is *progress* for jily  
> talking hurts sometimes, you know  
> and sometimes you're just not ready to continue a painful conversation  
> but let me know what you think :)


	21. The Hogwarts Express

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a new year!
> 
> to the anon(s) who sent me all those emojis of Muggle items, etc. this one's for you! xx

When Billywiggenhall arrived with James' sixth year Hogwarts letter, the first thing he noticed was the badge-shaped lump and the extra thickness of the envelope.

The first thing he thought was,  _ No, anyone but me. _

Remus had gotten worse over the summer. With his growth-spurt, his monthly wolf became more difficult to manage. All the Marauders had been by his side as he penned a tearful letter to McGonagall and Dumbledore, explaining that he could not go on to adequately fulfill his duties as a prefect. They'd agreed to pick someone else to take his stead, but they also agreed that he deserved to retain the full title on his permanent academic record. Of course, this being Remus, that only made him feel worse about it.

But there Billywiggenhall had perched on his windowsill. With the badge that should've still belonged to the cozy, snarky, brilliant boy James was lucky enough to call his friend. 

Now James wore it standing by the entrance to Platform 9 ¾, feeling every inch of an impostor and a traitor. 

"I can't believe you woke me up with a french horn for this," Sirius groaned, slumped over his cart. Then he grinned cheekily. "No, actually, I can, given that shiny new badge of yours."

"Shove it, mate," James slapped him in the shoulder good-naturedly. (He'd been waking Sirius up with a discordant French horn every morning that summer because his  _ lovely _ parents had a new favorite son who could speak French and whose name  _ wasn't _ James Fleamont Potter. It was all in good fun.)

James technically wasn't on duty yet, but a quick postscript in Sirius' last letter to Mary MacDonald revealed to him that Muggleborns often struggled to find the Platform, so there they were, scanning the crowd for any eleven-year-olds with cauldrons on their trolleys, and perhaps an owl. So far, they'd been able to safely escort three.

"I'm telling you, you're kind of erring into overkill territory with this little buddy-system you’ve got going," Sirius yawned again.

James didn't answer. He was staring at the redhead with striking green eyes who was rolling her trolley (with a cauldron on it) towards them. 

"Prongs, snap out of it," Sirius hissed, pulling him aside. "There, we're out of her way, she might not even notice --"

"Potter?"

"Oh, for Godric's sake," Sirius muttered.

"Evans!" James beamed and made to lean against the nearest wall, which was the one between Platforms 9 and 10, which of course, wasn't a solid wall. He fell through with a thud but righted himself just as quickly. "I thought you were all spending the summer with Marlene in Wiltshire?" 

Lily raised her eyebrows at him. "And how do you know that?"

"Padfoot's a lovesick puppy is why," James answered honestly. "Won't stop bothering your good friend, Mary."

Lily nodded but did not tell him why she was coming at the Platform from the Muggle side instead of the wizarding entrance. 

"Did you have a good summer?" he tried, wondering if he should call attention to his badge or not, seeing as they'd be working together. Oh, what if he'd dropped it when he fell? Had his pesky cloak collar folded out over it again? What if mentioning the badge made him seem like a prick --

"It was alright," Lily was saying, but anyone could tell she didn't really mean it. "How was yours?"

James thought of Remus' pained transformations and his own injuries he'd sustained as a stag, but he could play them off as Quidditch-related now that they'd had some time to start healing. 

"It was alright," he echoed her. 

Sirius cleared his throat behind them. "Firstie alert." He nodded towards the poor, confused child whom the Muggle conductor was making cry. 

James started towards them, but Lily stopped him. 

"You shouldn't even be on this side of the Platform in your uniform!" 

"Don't worry, it's Muggle-Worthy, see?" He showed her the bit of chain on the inner pocket of his (expensive) cloak. 

In short order, James got the kid away from the pompous conductor and saw them through the wall. Lily was still there, looking very upset at something Sirius had said.

"What do you mean he's not coming back?" she demanded.

"As a  _ prefect _ , Evans,  _ Merlin! _ Not that he's not coming back to  _ school! _ We'd  _ all _ be up in arms if that were the case!" 

James discreetly checked himself -- his badge was still attached and visible. He lifted his chin and walked towards them.

Lily was still frowning and shaking her head. "So who's…?" She trailed off as she caught sight of James. Her eyes flitted down to his badge, then back up to his shy smile, then back down to the badge. "You have got to be kidding me."

James winced.

Lily started, seeming to realize she'd said that out loud. "I just mean -- I mean -- You're -- You know -- I'd be just as surprised if they'd picked him!" she pointed at Sirius a bit more aggressively than was strictly necessary.

"Why is everyone  _ picking _ on me today?" Sirius sighed loudly. 

"I was surprised too," said James. "Moony's left some big shoes to fill."

Lily nodded.

One more First Year approached them, noticing James' uniform while the Muggles didn't. It dawned on Lily full-force that he'd been standing out here just to make sure the Muggleborns made it on the Express even though he wasn't technically on duty, not that such a thing had ever been a duty for anyone in any position. He was so thoughtful -- wait, _what?_ _Focus_ , Lily! This is the same lad who locked two students in a bathroom and set off fireworks to spook them! The same lad who threw after-curfew parties every week for the last quarter of the year and likely locked prefects in broom cupboards to do it! _And now you have to work with him!_

Oh,  _ Morgana's creaking cauldron, _ you have to  _ work _ with him.

This realization was sounding more and more dreadful as they boarded the prefects' carriage and James promptly piled all of the Slytherin students' trunks at the very back of the luggage carriage so they'd get unloaded last. Even  _ Sirius _ thought it was petty and told him so.

"I'm a prefect now, Pads." James shrugged. "I need to learn to accept the small victories..." He trailed off as he noticed Remus standing nearby. Had he heard him? This was not how he wanted him to find out --

"Oh, thank  _ Merlin! _ " Remus lauded, slinging a strong, jolly arm around James. "If it was going to be Arthur, I might as well resign myself to a tech-infused Tower!" 

"Hey now!" Arthur stuck his head out of the carriage windows. "You love a good fax machine joke and you know it!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "First, it's fax machines, then before you know it, it's aeroplanes --"

"Oh, yes, it's a very slippery slope," Lily chuckled. "Before you know it, he'll be examining your wands under a microscope."

"Hey, that's a great idea!" Arthur grinned.

"Well,  _ anything _ is an improvement from petrol pumps." Molly stuck her head out of the carriage as well. "Honestly, why would you want to transport yourself in a loud, clunking piece of metal when a broom is so much faster?"

"Well,  _ you  _ said you wanted lots of kids! You can't tote kids around on a broom, but you can in a  _ taxi! _ The petrol pump provides the  _ fuel _ \--"

"Brooms don't need fuel!" James and Sirius chimed in helpfully, loading the last of the luggage. 

"It's an  _ automobile _ , Arthur," said Lily. "A taxi is just one type of --"

"He'd sooner get pulled over by a police car," quipped Remus.

Reluctantly, Lily and James parted with their friends for the prefects' meeting. 

"Amelia!" they both greeted the new head girl. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks, you two." She blushed.

Greengrass was Head Boy. He was a Slytherin, but as far as Lily knew, he was alright. 

Amelia gave them all their Express assignments (minus most of the Slytherin and Ravenclaw prefects who'd elected to pull double duty some other time). They had to make the rounds, take attendance, make sure no one started dueling, that everyone had their uniforms on by the time they arrived, et cetera. 

"Sound good, you two?" Amelia looked up from her meeting notes at James and Lily.

"Evans?" James nudged her discreetly. "Evans.  _ Lily _ ."

"Yeah!" She snapped to attention. "Yes."

"Good." Amelia nodded. "Off you go then."

Lily followed James out, not sure where they were off  _ to _ . She cursed herself for getting distracted. Another part of her wanted to tell her it was alright, who wouldn't be when their dad was… No, she couldn't think like that. He would get better. They were getting a second, second, second opinion.  _ Someone _ would have  _ something _ for them.

"Alright, Evans?" James slowed as they approached the Third Year carriage.

"Ugh, thirteen-year-olds are the worst," Lily muttered under her breath, instantly feeling guilty for lashing out against her students because of her own frustration and anxiety.

"You must've been thirteen once." James' eyes shone with mischief. It was absolutely  _ not _ a good look for a prefect. Not that it had ever looked good on him.  _ Ever _ .

"Hated every second of it," she retorted, a part of her still determined to disagree with him whenever she could.

"Alright, tell me everything I need to know," he said gamely.

Lily huffed. "They're the highest of the lower years so they think they know what they're doing. They have all these new freedoms and privileges and want to see how far they can stretch them. Anything they do or don't do still doesn't end up on their permanent record, so they feel like they can get away with anything."

"Huh, sounds like my kind of people."

"Let me stop you right there." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Even if they know you, or know  _ of _ you, that doesn't mean they'll respect you. If anything, your dubious reputation will make it even  _ harder _ for you to discipline them. And yet, when it's convenient for them to do so, all they will see --" She flicked his badge with the end of her nail. "-- is that."

James had always thrived on new challenges. There was a spark in his eyes and a smirk playing on the corners of his lips. "It's a good thing I have you, then, Evans."

She opened the carriage door. "After you."

* * *

**Prefects' Report** ,  _ as authored by the Head Girl at the end of every round _

First Year Carriage: Lucius and Narcissa

  * Surprisingly good with children (might have something to do with the fact that they haven't been sorted yet)
  * Caught snogging outside the carriage, but the Trolley Lady was making her rounds in the area just then, so that's fine, I suppose



Second Year Carriage: Frank and Alice

  * Unsurprisingly good with children
  * Students have filed complaints about PDA (to be investigated, but these are twelve-year-olds; some of the boys still think they can catch cooties from hand-holding)



Third Year Carriage: James and Lily

  * An absolute disaster
  * There was sock-sliding in the corridor between carriages
  * Gobstone excretions permanently stained the seats in compartment six
  * The Trolley Lady has filed littering complaints
  * I will be handing in the second half of this report at a later date because just thinking about the damage control I have to do is giving me a migraine
  * On the upside, I think Lily actually had fun; she seemed rather out of it at the meeting and not the usual Potter-is-here-in-a-distracting-capacity way (will speak to her privately at first opportunity to make sure she's okay)



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully, this begins to make up for the angst of the last few chapters :)
> 
> thank you all soooo much for bearing with me and not abandoning this fic all together in frustration at these two idiots (i mean, i figure the point of a story is to get a bit of plot in there?)
> 
> love you all xxx


	22. You're The One That I Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MagicGirlInAMuggleWorld's prompt for Day 22 was Jily with baby Harry, so I bet you're all dying to know how I spin it for this fic, and without further ado... 👀

James was doing his first prefect rounds at Hogwarts with Benjy. (It was part of Amelia's grand master plan to end their rivalry once and for all. It was also probably because of the disaster that was teaming him up with Lily on the train, but he didn't regret that one bit. It was good to see her smile like that.  _ As a friend, because that's what she wants -- what she needs -- right now! _ ) 

Actually, going on rounds  _ with _ Benjy was a bit of an exaggeration. They met at the bottom of the Grand Staircase, parted ways to cover more ground faster, and then met to compare notes and get their story straight for Amelia so that they could pretend they were getting along. Of course, nothing like a good common enemy makes two teenagers realize the other isn't so bad after all. Not that they'd ever admit it to each other. 

"Right, anything else, Potter?" Benjy rubbed his eyes wearily. He didn't do so well with late nights. He even forgot to call James a flea-related nickname. 

"Nope, I think that pretty much covers it. G'night, Fenwick."

"Night." He waved over his shoulder.

Now, James was still a Marauder through and through, so he made better use of his new prefect privileges than most. 

There was a statue of a one-eyed witch that he was certain hid another secret passageway to add to the map. It quivered whenever one of the Marauders said the incantation, “ _ Dissendium _ ,” but they were yet to figure out how to get it to give way entirely. 

Remus, being the former prefect, had the most opportunities to figure it out without risking other students finding out about it. He was convinced it had something to do with the witch’s one-eyed-ness. 

So James studied the eye, looking for a nick or switch or  _ something _ , but there was none. He took a step back and observed the statue as a whole. 

The eye, down to the slope of the hump, to the cloak brushing against her pointed stone feet — Wait a minute — The eye, down the slope of the hump — Why didn’t his eyes go down to her chin? She wore an amulet of some sort, why were his eyes not drawn to — Of course! Her one eye was looking at her hump!

He tapped it and murmured, “ _ Dissendium _ .”

The passageway opened and he followed it excitedly. 

The statue closed the entrance behind him and he was thrust into darkness. 

“ _ Lumos! _ ” He came face to face with… himself. “Wha...”

As he stepped closer, he saw himself more clearly in the mirror. He was older and… a redheaded figure was coming up behind him. 

He whirled around, but no one was there. “Evans?” he whispered. “Evans? Are you there?” 

There was no answer. 

He turned back to the mirror. Lily was older too. And she was holding a baby. 

James’ eyes widened.  _ What was this sorcery?  _

Some gibberish was engraved into the gold frame: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.

With his gift for word-games, James figured it out quickly. “I show... not your… face but… your heart’s desire. Well...” He stared at Mirror-James and Mirror-Lily with their Mirror-Baby. “That explains a lot. I thought I was becoming obsessed and seeing things. And now I’m talking to myself. Great.”

James couldn’t seem to look away. He was transfixed with the way the child’s hair matched his own — wild, dark, and utterly untameable despite Mirror-Lily’s best efforts. But the child had vibrant green eyes — Lily’s eyes. 

He looked at Mirror-Lily and she was looking at Mirror-James with a look of such warmth, such adoration. She was glowing. Was she pregnant again? As if in answer to his question, Mirror-Lily turned to kiss Mirror-James on the cheek and he could see the slight swell of her belly. 

James’ mouth went dry and his eyes wandered the whole scene. They were living in one of the cute cottages over at Godric’s Hollow, like the heritage home his parents had taken him to see when he was little. 

They had a cat — a kneazle — that their child liked to play with. 

Their child had a toy broom and an entire Quidditch plushie set. 

Sirius turned into Snuffles whenever he babysat. 

Mirror-James and Mirror-Lily went on date nights in Diagon Alley and Muggle London. (The Muggle London of James’ imagination still looked like the roaring twenties because those were the most recent Muggle photographs he’d seen in History of Magic when they were studying the rise and fall of Grindelwald.)

“Please show me how to get there,” asked James. “Please?”

The mirror did not cooperate and the more he looked into it, the harder it was for him to focus on the desire to know  _ how _ to get there. He just kept wishing he  _ was _ there already. 

It was with a heavy heart that he parted with the mirror, only to discover that it was almost dawn. He snuck back up to Gryffindor Tower and to the Sixth Year dorms. 

“Alright, Prongs?” Peter, ever the light sleeper, peaked out of his bed curtains. 

“Alright, Wormtail,” he said. 

“Did you figure out the one-eyed witch?” He stuck his chubby feet into his fluffy maroon slippers and shuffled towards their shared bathroom. 

“Er…” James didn’t know why he hesitated to tell him. It was a major breakthrough for their map!

“S’alright,” Peter was saying. “It’s only your first night. Knowing Moony, he’ll have a bunch of other ideas to try for next time.” 

“Right,” said James, changing into his pajamas. He could keep the mirror to himself for a bit, couldn’t he? He’d tell them as soon as he figured out how he was supposed to get himself and Lily together and happy. He didn’t need Sirius telling him he was harping mad for loving her when it was unrequited, blah, blah, blah, because it wasn’t. It wasn’t going to be that way forever. What he had seen in the mirror seemed so real, so surely there was a way for them. He just had to find it. 

He fell asleep dreaming about her glowing, kissing his cheek, holding his hand, holding their baby. This put him in a particularly sour mood when he woke up to reality in the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if a chapter a day STILL isn't enough for you, feel free to follow me @littlejeanniebean on Tumblr and work your way through [my masterlist](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/masterlist) ;)


	23. Lily Evans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which a somewhat distant relative of Justin Finch-Fletchley makes an appearance because personally, I headcanon that a lot of students in Harry Potter's generation (I'm looking at you too, Dean Thomas) only *think* they're Muggleborn because all their wizarding relatives went into hiding during the first war and just... never came back. 
> 
> Anyway, that's not really relevant to this chapter, but it's nice for a larger context. Enjoy!

"Oh -- oh -- oh -- oh!" Lily, who had never lost at her own game of Space Invaders, had just been blown up by her opponent, a shy first year Muggleborn by the name of Holly Fletchley. 

"Nice one, Fletchley!" Alice shot her a thumbs up from the back of the room.

"Thanks." Holly blushed, curling in on herself where she was sitting on the carpeted floor in front of the console. 

"Do you want to go again?" asked Lily. Since it was Saturday, they had the time.

Holly nodded and they continued playing.

James was also losing epically in a chess match with Sirius.

"Oi!" said best-friend-slash-brother flicked him in the forehead, just above his glasses. "You're not even trying, Prongs!"

"She could've won that," said James. "She took her finger off the button on purpose --"

"I  _ really _ don't need to hear you talking about Evans' fingers that way --"

"I wasn't talking about --" James dissolved into grumbles, but then check-mated Sirius in the next three moves. "Take that!"

"Oooh," Peter was quick to marvel at his ingenuity, his intricacy, his --

Remus stumbled down the spiral staircase of the boys' dorms, the stone steps magically turned spongy to break his fall.

To the Marauders' surprise, Lily was the first to help him up. "Hey, you look like shite --"

"Thanks a lot." He rolled his eyes fondly.

"What are friends for?" she grinned. "You shouldn't go in on Monday. I'll bring you your notes like always --"

"Hey, what's wrong with my notes, Moony?" asked James, who had the nicest penmanship out of all the boys. (Sirius' was actually the nicest, but he never took notes.)

"No offense, Prongs --" Remus slumped into his favoured armchair by the fire, aided by Lily. "-- but your notes are shite."

"They actually make a lot of sense to me," said Sirius.

"Seconded," Peter piped up.

Remus and Lily shared a look.

"What?" James crossed his arms, pouting slightly.

"What?" Remus echoed.

"You two just looked at each other and --"

"Not everyone seeks a simple base level understanding of the course material, Potter," Lily explained, not unkindly.

"But if they say it's not going to be on the exam, I'm not going to bloody write it down and confuse myself --"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You hijacked McGonagall's lecture on human transfigurations and Metamorphagi to talk about Animagi --"

"She didn't stop me, though --"

"Of course, she didn't, she's practically your godmum!" Lily shook her head at him, lips turning up at the corners. "Anyway, Remus, do you need anything? Oh, I know, Stinky!"

The house-elf materialised.

"Hot chocolate for Remus, please."

"Of course, Mistress Evans! Would you like chicken nuggets to dip into it as well?"

The entire common room fell silent and stared at her. Some of the pureblooded students  _ still _ didn't know what chicken nuggets were, but even they knew you didn't dip  _ chicken _ into  _ chocolate _ .

"What?" She looked around, defensively jutting her chin out. "Salty and sweet is a good mix!"

Sirius' face broke into a smirk, but before he could make another innuendo, James said, "Alright, mate, let's get to Quidditch tryouts, yeah?"

"If we get ready now, we'll just be sitting at the pitch for half an hour!" Sirius followed him anyway. "Oh, wait, what you  _ really  _ want is to gush about Evans, don't you?"

"She's just… how can you  _ not? _ " James tugged at his hair.

"Because I'm in a loving, committed relationship with a witch who can hex my balls off," Sirius answered immediately.

"She lost to Holly on  _ purpose _ , Pads! I know Holly's been struggling to make friends and she feels like she'd shoddy at magic because she's a Muggleborn and I think some of the Slytherins are being mean to her about it, but we couldn't get her to talk about it, so  _ there Lily is, giving Holly something to be good at  _ \--"

"You're running out of breath!" Sirius stopped him before he got lightheaded and keeled over or something.

"Thank you," James exhaled heavily before starting up again. "And then she gives Remus the notes he needs!"

"She just duplicates her own notes, Prongs --"

James shook his head adamantly. "No, no, no, I've seen her notes! She doesn't usually provide as much context as she does when she takes notes for them both --"

"Context is a very subjective thing," Sirius tried again. "For all you know..."

James wasn't listening. He sighed happily, thinking of what a great person Lily was and how lucky he was to know her. "She's so amazing."

Sirius drew a weary hand over his handsome face. This was going to be a long half hour.

Meanwhile, Lily and Remus were having a less one-sided heart to heart in their cozy little corner of the common room. 

"You never ask," he said. 

"What do you mean?" 

"What I'm sick with. If it's bloody  _ contagious _ \--"

"I'm not the first line of defense." Lily shrugged. "Your mates are and they're fine. So what do I have to fear?"

Remus chuckled. "That is such a Gryffindor answer."

"It comes with the colors," Lily said quietly. Suddenly not feeling all that brave at all. She decided she needed to fix that. Only cowards run away from their problems, run away from their  _ friends _ , who just want to help. "I know how hard it can be to talk about illness too."

Remus looked at her with concern. 

"No, no, not me." She pursed her lips. "It… It's my dad."

"I'm sorry --"

"He'll be fine!" Lily asserted. "Mum's finally learned to owl, so she's been keeping me updated when she can, but his care is… It's become quite intensive over the summer…"

"I'm sorry --"

"I just wish I could be there. To help. But I can barely stay sane in the same room with him. I just start  _ bawling _ , then  _ he _ starts bawling and the stress isn't… I'm sorry --"

"No, don't be!"

"-- I literally just said it was hard to talk about --"

"It sounds like you needed to let it out --"

"-- but it must be even harder to listen to --"

"-- I know I do sometimes --"

"-- I just don't think I'm ready --"

"-- but I'm just not ready."

"-- to lose him." Lily started crying then. "Oh  _ gods _ , I could really  _ lose _ him… I don't know what to  _ do! _ What do I do?"

Remus held her in a comforting, sweater-swathed hug. "Have you told your dad all this?"

She nodded into his shoulder, sniffing pathetically.

"Then he knows you care and you'll do anything you can for him," Remus did his best to keep his voice steady. "Waiting for something to do is going to be the hard part, but that's what you've got all of us for, yeah?"

"All of…?"

"Me, the lads, your fellow prefects, your fellow Gryffindors, us."

Lily let out a shaky sigh. "Thank you, Remus."

They drank their hot chocolate and Lily dipped her chicken nuggets in and everything. 

When Remus told the rest of the Marauders about Mr. Evans' condition, James' heart broke a little, even as he grew more impressed with Lily. She was so strong.

"How long has he been ill?" he asked.

"Since last year, as far as I know," said Remus.

And no one had any idea. She just carried on like a little soldier. She was so brave.

James wanted with all his heart and soul to do something nice for her. She seemed to be warming up to him again now that they had some prefect duties together (still no rounds, Amelia was still not risking another mess like their last partnership). Maybe he could try giving her things again, things like his care, his love.  _ As a friend!  _ Because he wasn't going to be selfish and take advantage of her when she was emotional like this. 

"Earth to Prongs!" Remus waved his hands in front of his face. He had apparently been saying something.

"What? Yeah! I was listening!" 

"Great, we'll have that one-eyed witch figured out in no time." He nodded, satisfied.

Right. James still needed to tell them about that. But first, he had to write to his dad to get his expertise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Communication can be healing 😊 Stay safe and stay well, lovelies ❤️
> 
> [Tumblr](littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com) | [Bookstagram](https://www.instagram.com/jccolewrites/) | [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/littlejeanniebean)


	24. Home To You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Home To You by Sigrid plays in the background*

“So…” Amelia peeked inside a knight in shining armor outside one of the disused charms classrooms. “How are you finding Sixth Year so far?” 

Lily raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s alright. How’s N.E.W.T. prep?”

“Eh, if you keep your head down and do the work in sixth, it’s actually not so bad.” Amelia was something of an unconventional choice for Head Girl, being somewhat lax on rules and regulations — she valued the spirit of the law more than the letter — but where Dumbledore was concerned, unconventional was the convention. 

It didn’t help that her family, who was deeply rooted in the ministry, was facing death threats from members of the Sacred Twenty-Eight unless they changed their stance on certain issues pertaining to Muggles and Muggleborns, Magical Creatures and Beings. 

But that was the kind of thing that made her the perfect Head Girl in Lily’s eyes. “So you’re still on the fast-track to the Wizengamot, eh?”

Amelia chuckled. “That’s the dream. What about you?”

Lily shrugged. “McGonagall thinks I’d make a good Auror, a good Healer. Slughorn thinks a good Potioneer. Flitwick —”

“But what about  _ you? _ ” Amelia dramatically threw open the door of an empty broom cupboard, but there was no one there, and her shoulders relaxed with satisfaction. Her strategy for giving points to every student who stayed in during curfew rather than taking points away from being caught out was working splendidly. 

“I… I was thinking Muggle Liaison. Did you know they have no Muggleborns in that office at all?”

“You’re joking!” Amelia was genuinely surprised. 

Lily shook her head. “I wish I was. Muggle Studies is still a requirement though, but I talked to Professor Quirrell and he said I can challenge the N.E.W.T. without taking the class. So I’ll probably do that.”

Amelia nodded, then decided to stop beating around the bush. “Academics aside, then, are  _ you _ alright?”

Lily turned away under the pretense of checking behind a tapestry. “Am I underperforming?”

“I’m asking as a friend, Lily, but if you’d rather I ask as Head Girl then —”

“I just have some personal things going on right now. But I am here. I am present.” 

“You seemed distracted on the train —”

“Potter was playing with that stupid Snitch of his —”

“Don’t,” Amelia said sternly. “Don’t. You’re better than that. And James deserves better than that. Especially from you.”

“ _ Especially? _ ” Lily crossed her arms. “What?  _ You _ think we’re dating too?” 

Amelia scoffed. “Oh, I  _ know _ you’re not. And I won’t lie to you, I rather fancy the lad myself, but he will worship the ground you walk on until the day he dies —”

“I’m not some kind of object or idol —”

“Oh, come off it. It was a figure of speech. You know what I mean. He cares for you —”

“I’ve never asked him —”

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t get to choose how others feel about you. How they act towards you. Good or bad. But you can choose how you feel towards them. How you act towards them. Good… or bad.” Amelia stared her down. “I don’t need to know about whatever personal things you’ve got going on, but I am here if you want to talk and need someone to listen. And I reckon James is too.”

Lily swallowed, realizing that what Amelia was saying made a lot of sense. 

There was a loud crash from further down the corridor, in the direction of the Astronomy Tower. Someone muttered a string of swears. 

“ _ Oppugno! _ ” A young witch cried. 

Lily and Amelia shared a look and moved towards the sounds quickly.

* * *

James had finished his inter-house rounds with Benjy and was waiting patiently in the darkened common room, a thick sheaf of parchment on his lap. 

Actually, patiently was a strong word. The boy was on pins and needles. It was nearly past midnight, ages past curfew, and Lily was still not back from her rounds with Amelia. 

He couldn’t check the map because the rest of the Marauders were working on it in the Shrieking Shack, trying to fortify it against a host of revealing spells that had just been invented by a young new Auror, Alastor Moody, who’d given a guest lecture on the topic as a favor to their new DADA professor, Dearborn, who was a personal friend of his.

So James sat there, waiting, a million thoughts running through his mind.

Maybe they’d been attacked. If Malfoy and Snape could get their crew in and out of the castle via the Come-and-Go Room, it stood to reason that Riddle and other dangerous elements could get in. (The Marauders still had no luck mapping the Come-and-Go Room because all mapping spells were based on matter and space and sometimes, the room held different amounts of matter and space, and if no one was in it, sometimes it held none at all. So they basically had to reinvent the wheel and map based on quantum particles because those always existed for some reason and that reason seemed to be key to actually getting any charms to work, but not even the Society of Arithmantics knew what that was, so the boys were out of luck for now.)

The Bones family had been getting a lot of threats lately, and had James’ own family been in the spotlight more, they would have too, given their stance on a lot of hot-button issues in the pureblooded community lately. 

And Lily was a Muggleborn. 

She might not even be the target, but those bastards wouldn’t blink if she were to end up a casualty. 

James had just about thought himself in enough viciously dizzying circles to drive him mad. He jumped up to head out and find them himself when Lily stumbled through the portrait hole, still feeling the after-effects of a leg-locker curse. 

“Alright, Evans?” He summoned the most comfortable armchair for her to sit in. 

“Yeah, just a nasty break up over at the Astronomy Tower.” She winced as she sat down, the stinging jinx on her ribs hadn’t completely worn off yet. “You should see the other girl.” 

James breathed a long sigh of relief. “I was worried that —” He stopped himself and checked her tired expression.

“What?” she asked. 

“I… I’m glad you’re alright.” He stood and collected his parchment paper off the floor. “Um… Moony… mentioned… er, you were interested in magical cures for Muggle diseases and… well, you always indulge me when it comes to Animagi, so…”

Lily received the stack of parchment and skimmed over the abstract. “Shrinking Solution?” 

“ _ Modified _ Shrinking Solution.” James flipped over to the next section. “Dad worked on it with a professor at Beauxbatons for a while. It… It doesn’t prevent metastasis, but it can mitigate it once it starts up —”

“You know,” she realized, looking into his warm hazel eyes, with flecks of gold in the firelight. 

James ducked his head, as though ashamed. 

Impulsively, Lily cupped her hands under his cheeks and made him look at her again. “Thank you, James.” She blinked rapidly to keep from crying, but a few tears leaked out and dropped down her pale cheek. 

Reflexively, James reached up to brush it away and she didn’t even flinch at the warmth of his hand, the calluses of his fingers from rough Quidditch play. 

“I’m sorry it’s… It’s hard for me to… be open —”

James shook his head immediately. “No, no, it’s my fault for being so obnoxiously out there with everything —”

“No, it’s good!” Lily insisted, her hands were resting on his broad shoulders now, and her thumbs fit perfectly into the notches of his collarbones. “I wish I could wear my heart on my sleeve like that… I just… I guess, I thought you never meant any of it because it seemed too easy for you and… and for me… the truth is usually… less said.”

James smiled kindly, lovingly. And to her, it felt like coming home.

He hugged her tightly. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that we’re friends again, Lily.” 

Lily couldn’t explain the little deflation she’d felt in her lungs, the little sink of her heart at the word ‘friend’. 

As her chin rested on his shoulder and her hands went into the bird’s nest he called hair, she took a deep breath to center herself. He smelled, as usual, of leather, but there was also a scent of parchment now, and vaguely, of chocolate (that was probably Remus’ doing).

She whispered, “I’m glad to have you too.” So why did she feel like she wanted more? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a friendly reminder that this is a safe space in which to freak out about how idiot these mutual-pining fools are. Go crazy, I'll wait :)


	25. The Drought of the River in Egypt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl, i'm super proud of coming up with this dramatic on-the-nose chapter title :P enjoy!!

Lily was in good spirits for a solid week, which was the best she’d felt since before the summer holidays. And this was despite the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that there was something just a little bit…  _ less _ , about her friendship with James. 

Not that there was anything wrong with them, or him, not at all. In fact, they were getting along better than ever. 

While she kind of missed his flirting, she was sure that was just her ego being needy. 

And although she kind of missed his lavish gift-giving, a loaned quill or traded chocolate frog card was a better foundation for a solid friendship, no?

The fact that he no longer seems to be interested in her romantically should really be a positive thing, given everything she knows about herself, about him, about them.

This nagging voice in the back of her mind then had the nerve to break through this air-tight argument with: 'but people can change.'

She was mulling all this over when a low murmur stopped her in her tracks on her way to Potions. “Lily.” 

“Severus?” She whirled around. The corridor was empty, but still, she frowned at him reproachfully. “You shouldn’t be here —”

“I’ve got Potions same as you —”

“I mean here with  _ me _ —”

“I  _ had _ to see you —”

“You’re going to get yourself in trouble with your new bosses —”

“I wanted to tell you how close I am to guaranteeing your safety —”

“Severus, no —”

“You know what I said that day last year… by the lake…”

Lily winced at the memory. The fire in his eyes. The loathing.

“You know, that was all part of the act, right?” he asked her now. “I am about to complete a very important task and once I do that —”

“What is it?” asked Lily. Then she cursed herself for her bluntness. 

But Severus didn’t seem to register her question at all. “Once I do that, I will be granted one favor and I intend to ask for you.”

Lily blinked. “I am  _ not _ yours to ask for —”

“No other Muggleborn will have such a secure position in this new world we’re building —”

“Then  _ stop _ building it!” 

“I know you must’ve heard about the threats the Bones family’s been getting. And even they are purebloods. Mark my words, those threats  _ will _ be acted upon if they don't comply. You’re intelligent. You’ll see that I’m right and there’s no stopping this —”

“Don’t patronize me, Severus.” Lily pinched the bridge of her nose. “Listen… I should’ve told you a while back and I’m sorry if I’ve strung you along, but I didn’t know how else to get you off this path you’re on, well… Now, I see that there’s only so much I can do and the rest lies squarely on your shoulders, your decision-making —”

He took hold of her wrists. “What are you saying? You would leave me? After everything I’ve done for you —”

“Let go of me!”

“After all that I’ve  _ sacrificed _ —”

“Alright, Evans?”

To Lily’s surprise, it was Sirius Black standing over Severus’ shoulder. 

"Yeah, Severus was just leaving," Lily spoke icily. "Want to walk to Potions together, Black?"

"Don't mind if I do," he fell into step beside her easily.

Severus stalked away, taking the long way around to the dungeons, dark robes billowing behind him.

"How's lover's island?" Lily asked Sirius.

"Oh…" He scratched the back of his neck. "Er… She didn't tell you, huh?"

"Tell me what?" Lily's eyes widened. Mary and Sirius were unbreakable. Smitten. Soulmates. Something out of a bloody fairytale --

" _ Babe! _ " A tearful, hysterical Mary tore through the corridor towards them and launched herself into Sirius' waiting arms. "I'm so sorry I didn't believe you when you said you didn't kiss that bint! I hexed her, of course, got to teach her to keep her paws off my man --"

"No,  _ I'm _ sorry, ma chérie," he cooed. "I should've done a better job at telling her no. You're more than enough for this old dog."

Mary giggled. "You're only a few months older than us."

Sirius smiled down at her dotingly.

"Right," said Lily to no one in particular. "I'm just going to go, then…"

When they started snogging in the middle of the corridor, as a prefect, Lily could safely say she hadn't seen a thing.

Later, when Mary was sat beside her in Potions, she asked her, "Why didn't you tell me when things weren't alright between you two?"

Mary shrugged. "I wasn't that broken up about it --"

"You were literally  _ bawling _ \--"

"Oh, no, Zabini threw a bunch of conjured onions at me." Mary shook her head, chuckling. "Anyway, I can never be that mad at Sirius, not when he's been having such a rough go of things since the summer."

"Wasn't he with the Potters?" 

"He was… but… he pretty much  _ had  _ to be. His parents are… Well, they've disowned him, and he doesn't care about the money, but they're working on making sure he never finds work, loses his IWI card --" (The International Wizarding Institute provided the equivalents of Muggle passports.)

"But  _ why? _ " Lily was scandalized. She couldn't imagine how she could live if her parents were actively working against her the same way Petunia always seemed to be.

Mary told her everything Sirius had told her, including everything the Potters were doing for the stray dog (Sirius' words). "And that's why James hexed Snivellus so badly last year. I mean, I'm not making excuses for him, but if there was ever a good reason --"

"That would be it," Lily finished for her. She glanced over at James and Sirius' bench. 

James waved at her briefly, cordially before continuing with his work. 

Oh, yes, being friends was just a  _ little _ bit less when he didn't look at her like she meant not just  _ something _ to him, but  _ everything _ . When he didn't flash his widest, brightest, most winning smile in her direction every chance he got. 

And now that she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was every bit the honorable, brave, and kind soul she'd wanted him to be, there was no denying it. She was in love with James Fleamont Potter. 

(And in her distracted state at this revelation, she dropped an extra pinch of crushed bluebell into her cauldron and the classroom smoked up so badly they were all excused for the day. She made it up to Slughorn by helping him grade fourth-year essays.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *casually walks around snatching all your wigs and what-not*


	26. Things That Go Boom

In the dim light of the earthen tunnel, Mirror-Lily's fiery red hair stood out like a cheery wildflower against her stylish white gown.

James frowned at his own older reflection in the mirror, who was wearing a tux and holding out his Grandmother Elspeth's pink pearl ring. 

It was all too easy to be mesmerized. The way her cheeks were flushed with excitement and happiness. The way her cute little feet leaped and pranced in a traditional wizarding wedding dance that James was certain she did not actually know. That was what broke the spell for him. Mirror-Lily was not Real-Lily, nor did he ever want Real-Lily to be Mirror-Lily because she was already so much better simply for being real. 

So James knew he  _ had _ to do this. It was an insult to Lily and their newfound (re-found?) friendship to be pining after her in this way. He had to cut himself off. For good. 

Resolutely, he planted the dynamite at his feet and unspooled the cord all the way out of the secret passageway. 

Just before the one-eyed witch's hump could pop back into place, sealing off the tunnel, he murmured, " _ Incendio. Muffliato. _ "

A buzzing filled his ears and he just barely registered a muffled  _ boom _ . A simple smoke-clearing spell removed the last of the evidence. 

There. Now there was no way he could ever be tempted to dig his way back to it.

Satisfied, he turned on his heel only to become face-to-face with a fiery-redheaded witch in a crisp white blouse and gray boot-cut Hogwarts slacks. Oh, yes, Mirror-Lily had nothing, absolutely  _ nothing,  _ on Real-Lily.

“Lily, hey.” James  _ Scourgified _ himself quickly. “Hi. Good evening.”

“More like morning.” She frowned. “Did you run into trouble? Where’s Benjy? You’re all dusty!”

“Oh!” James’ hand went to his hair, his heart beating out of his chest, thumping in his ears.  _ Boom-boom-boom.  _ “I… Um… I just needed to clear my head.” He wasn’t lying. Not really.

“By duking it out with a mountain troll, I see.” She smirked.

James chuckled. “How about you? More trouble in the Astronomy Tower?”

Lily made a face. “I wish.”

He raised an eyebrow, entreating her to elaborate. 

She did with a sigh. “They aren’t meeting in the Come-and-Go Room anymore.”

James’ hazel eyes flashed with sudden alertness despite the late hour. “Malfoy and…?”

“The whole crew, yeah.” Lily chewed her bottom lip. “Amelia and I broke them up around a secret passageway under the Whomping Willow.”

James almost choked on his own breath.

“That would explain why Parkinson and Mulciber wanted me out of the Shrieking Shack so badly,” Lily continued, oblivious to James’ inner turmoil. “The passageway leads straight there, you see. It must be their new hideout.”

“Oh, really?” James scratched his chin, doing his best to feign surprise. His mind was already working to find a way to get them out of there permanently before the next full moon. “You don’t say…”

“That’s not all.” Lily fell into step beside him as they both silently agreed to head back towards Gryffindor Tower. “I think I saw Regulus Black running away when Amelia and I arrived.”

James’ throat constricted. 

“I just thought you should know, seeing as Sirius —”

James felt like he was experiencing a delayed second-hand panic-attack just thinking about Lily and Amelia by themselves against roughly twenty young radicals who wouldn’t think twice about using dark magic. 

“James? Are you — Oh, alright, James, breathe, breathe…” She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I’m fine! Just  _ please _ use your mirror ring to call for help next time.” He stood straighter despite feeling like his head was coming unscrewed from his neck. And he was sure he was becoming cross-eyed from trying to focus on keeping the room from spinning around him. He whipped off his glasses and wiped them on the hem of his sweater vest. 

Lily smiled warmly at him, touched by his concern. “There was no need. Hagrid was there in a flash with his umbrella. And Fang nearly took Malfoy’s leg off.”

“You’re kidding!” James marveled, slapping his glasses back on his face. “Fang, who’s afraid of his own shadow?” 

Lily nodded. “He has a soft spot for Amelia, I think. Wouldn’t leave her side even when the curses went flying.”

“Well, well, well,” the Fat Lady gave them a knowing look as they arrived at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. “You two aren’t setting a very good example, are you now?”

“Prefect duties never sleep.” Lily tapped her badge, a playfully smug look on her face. 

“Oh, yes,” the Fat Lady chuckled and counted off on her pale fingers. “Check all the broom cupboards, throw any misbehaving students out of the broom cupboards, and just to be safe,  _ double-check _ the broom cupboards yourselves to make sure they still work, eh?” She winked exaggeratedly.

Lily blushed and mumbled the month’s password. (“Bicorn’s tail hair,” whatever that was supposed to mean.)

“Sorry about that,” said James once they were inside. “I should’ve thought of hanging back instead of arriving with you. Now she’s going to spread the goss to all portraits and it’ll be all over the school by morning.”

Lily’s cheeks started to match her hair as she said, “There are worse things to be called than James Potter’s girlfriend.”

_ Boom-boom-boom _ . He stared at her. The way her cheeks appeared to be glowing in the firelight. The way her cute little feet stepped forward and back, forward and back like she was trying to decide whether or not to step closer to him. 

Alright, James, play it cool —  _ play it cool! _ “I’m glad you think so!” He grinned his best devilish grin.

Lily’s hands shot behind her back like she’d been jolted by lightning. “We have to keep them from meeting again.” 

It took James a second to realize what she was talking about. Had he played it  _ too _ cool?

“Agreed,” was all he could think to say at the moment. 

“But I don’t think cracking down further is the answer,” Lily continued. “Can you give them back the Come-and-Go Room?”

“Do you think they’ll want it back, knowing that others know about it now too?”

“If we get Amelia to put Slytherin prefects in charge of the Seventh Floor corridor —”

James beamed and picked her up off the floor in an exuberant hug. “You’re a genius!”

He heard her laughing right by his ear, her warm breath ghosting over the sensitive skin.  _ Boom-boom-boom. _

When he put her down and gazed into her lush green eyes, he could’ve sworn she was looking at him the same way Mirror-Lily looked at Mirror-James. But what had he, Real-James, done to deserve it? Was he projecting onto Real-Lily now? That was just what he wanted to avoid!

Suddenly, Arthur and Molly tumbled through the portrait hole just this side of disheveled. 

“Oh, hello,” said Molly, smoothing her hair. (The action did nothing. There was a very obvious hickey on her neck.)

“Hi,” said Arthur, tucking his polo shirt back into his trousers self-consciously.

Lily and James shared a look. 

“I guess the Fat Lady has juicier goss now,” she said.

James snickered. 

“See if I ever knit anything for either of you again!” Molly wagged a finger at them as she ascended the stairs to the girls’ dorms with as much dignity as she could muster. 

“Don’t I get a goodnight kiss, Mollywobbles?” Arthur called after her. 

She shushed him viciously and a bright blue slipper was even thrown down at his head. 

When James and Lily were alone in the common room again, Lily whispered, “Mollywobbles.”

And they broke out into a fit of giggles. 

“Well, goodnight then!” said Lily once she caught her breath, inwardly cursing herself for being such a coward and chickening out of telling James how she felt at the first opportunity. 

“Don’t let the nargles bite!” quipped James, a lopsided smile gracing his pretty face.

Lily rolled her eyes at their private joke with all the appearance of maturity and composure, but within her rib-cage, her heart was going  _ boom-boom-boom. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dOn'T LeT tHe nArGLes biTE 😂 
> 
> let me know what you think! i love talking to you all in the comments, on Tumblr, about this fic or just general fan-freaking about HP :)


	27. Rise of the Phoenix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three dramatic titles in a row! Am I on a roll or what?? 😂 Bon appetit!

"Witches and wizards, please put your hands together for Hogwarts' decennial doubles dueling club tournament final!" Peter announced to a host of cheers. (He was doing a William Shatner impression to the delight of all Muggleborns present.) "Returning to defend their title, make some noise for Caradoc Dearborn and Alastor Moody!"

The students went wild. They were all fans of Dearborn, one of their best DADA professors so far, and although many, if not all, found Moody intimidating, he was well-respected for his skill and bravery.

The Auror and DADA professor stepped up onto the platform in matching strides and flung off their cloaks. Where Dearborn sported a soft beard and a more approachable disposition, Moody, though clean-shaven, somehow managed to appear rougher with his brown on brown clothing and fresh pink scars across his bare arms.

"And here come the challengers, this year’s dueling club champions," Peter was saying, "give it up for James Potter and Lily Evans!"

Professor Flitwick, the referee, climbed onto the platform with some help of his Ravenclaw students. "Thank you, thank you. Contestants: I want a nice clean game, alright? No Category Seven spells —” These were spells that maim or seriously injure, “— and absolutely no Unforgivables." He eyed Moody sternly in particular. "Failure to comply will result in immediate disqualification and, at the Headmaster’s and committee’s discretion, possibly revocation of your diploma. Furthermore, if you or your partner step off the platform during the duel, you forfeit. If you or your partner come into physical contact with your opponents with the intent to engage them without magic, you forfeit. If you or your partner summon any items to aid you in the duel --"

"Let me guess, we forfeit?" James grinned impishly.

"That's right, Potter." Flitwick narrowed his eyes up at him for good measure, although his excited smile completely gave away the fact that he wasn't actually upset. He was very proud of his students -- sixth years, no less! -- for their excellence and especially proud to be able to showcase it on such a grand scale once a decade.

It was quite an event, really. The members of the school committee, some representatives from international wizarding schools and scouts from various departments of the ministry were in attendance.

"Take your opponents' wands to win! On the count of three!" Flitwick called.

The students got into position.

"One!"

About-face.

"Two!"

Start walking.

"Three!"

Spin.

" _ Expelliarmus! _ " James.

" _ Stupefy! _ " Lily.

" _ Protego! _ " Dearborn.

" _ Reducto! _ " Moody.

It went back and forth like that for three more exchanges and then --

" _ Diffindo! _ " Moody hit Lily in her wand arm and fully expected her to fall back and for James to cover her.

Instead, she switched hands and cast a shield charm strong enough to cover both her and James while he hit Dearborn with a stunner powerful enough to knock him out. " _ Accio wand! _ "

" _ Enerverate! _ " Moody woke up Dearborn, who immediately extended his hand and wandlessly reversed James' summoning charm.

"You can do  _ wandless _ magic?" Lily wordlessly healed her cut shoulder. 

"You're  _ ambidextrous! _ " Dearborn shot back.

Lily smirked and deflected his  _ Petrificus Totalus  _ with a well-aimed  _ Rictusempra _ . James aimed to redirect both spells with  _ Levicorpus _ , but he missed as Moody beat him to it with an  _ Impedimenta _ . 

Moody still had to dodge  _ Levicorpus _ , so Lily was able to anticipate where he'd be and hit him with an  _ Incarcerous  _ anyway. 

" _ Accio wand! _ "

Just as she grasped Moody's wand in her hand, she was hit by the combined ricochetting  _ Petrificus _ ,  _ Rictusempra _ , and  _ Impedimenta _ . 

"Lily!" James was at her side performing the counter-curses immediately until Dearborn knocked his wand out of his hand.

Now Moody and James had switched wands and the duel continued for another five minutes before Flitwick called time on round one.

"You should've gone for Dearborn's wand!" Lily told him angrily. "We could've won right then!" 

"No, because you would've suffocated from laughing!" James argued. "What do you think  _ Petrificus _ and  _ Rictusempra _ do together? You would've just lost Moody's wand again!"

"Not if you'd gotten Dearborn's quick enough!"

"I stand by my actions." James shrugged.

"And I stand by my opinion," she said heatedly before conjuring glasses of water for both of them. "Here."

"Thanks," he smiled and gulped it down. "Ready to hit 'em with a hippogriff?"

"That's not all my spell does, you know."

"Oh, really?"

"Want to make 'em picture everyone naked?" 

James' eyes bugged out of his head. "Including yo--I mean,  _ us? _ " 

"It's not actual x-ray vision, it'll just be where their mind goes to fluster them." Lily grinned wickedly.

"You're nasty, I like it!" he beamed.

"Just promise me you'll use the opportunity to get 'em with Audrey and Muppet."

"You got it." James winked. 

But by the next round, Dearborn and Moody realized they weren't dueling with just any pair of teenagers. They were dueling with the boy whose parents let him practice magic free range on their large property every summer (most wizarding households  _ loathed _ to let their children do magic without strict supervision, if at all, it was just more convenient that way, St. Mungo's wasn't free, you know) and the girl who still spent hours outside of class perfecting her skills, even now that she was at the top of all her classes (with a few minor exceptions that belonged to James, but she was still a close second and bested him at least once a month), so that no one would ever dare say she wasn't good enough to be there because of her blood.

While Dearborn covered him, Moody transfigured the blue carpet on the platform into a pit of quicksand, and they were all forced to jump to the narrow edges of the platform. So Lily was practically dueling Dearborn one-on-one while James took on Moody.

“Oh, dear,” Peter lamented. “It seems our challengers are no match for the veterans one-on-one. It’s going to take a miracle to get —”

“Hey, Dearborn, you’re hot as fuck!” yelled someone from the crowd, who sounded suspiciously like Amelia Bones, but no one could confirm it. 

Lily was then able to land a hit on the distracted, blushing DADA professor, the first of the round. 

By the end of it, Moody was a Muppet and Dearborn was trying to aim while looking studiously down at his shoes lest he accidentally ‘see’ someone flashing him, but Lily was halfway sunk into the quicksand and James had lost his glasses in it.

" _ Accio glasses! _ " said Lily.

" _ Accio Lily! _ " said James. 

The spectacles shot into Lily's hand and she shot straight into James' arms.

"Hello," he said.  _ Really? That's the best you've got, Potter?  _ He chided himself.

"Hello," Lily echoed, gazing up at him fondly. 

McGonagall changed the carpet back to normal before the next round, but James and Lily weren't required to provide the counter-curses to the Muppet and the spell that made people see things that Lily still didn't have a name for. 

"Unseen Jinx. Seer Hex. See-Me-Not --"

"What are you on about?" asked James.

"Do you have any ideas for the name of the spell?"

"Oh, uh… I-Spy?"

Lily smiled eagerly and nodded. "The I-Spy Jinx by Lily Evans."

"Are you going to write a paper now, Professor Evans?” he teased. “Publish in  _ The Charm Alarm? _ "

“I might write a paper.” Lily shrugged. “But I want it published posthumously so that I can keep springing it on new people as long as I live. Professorship opportunities be damned.”

James laughed. “I like the way you think.”

“ _ Nec capillum! _ ” growled Moody. 

“Oh, come on!” James groaned. “That took us ages to figure out!”

“Hey.” Lily nudged him. “You know what the best spell is?”

“What?” he asked.

“One you don’t even have to cast.”

“Round three should start imminently,” Peter commentated. “In the meantime, the report from Madam Pomfrey is that Dearborn will have to remove his eyeballs and then grow them back using an organ replacement potion, which will take too long. He won’t tell us what he’s seeing —”

At this, Lily and James snickered together. 

“— but he says it’s fine and he can duel with the handicap. This means that even if James and Lily, er, that is, Potter and Evans secure both opponents’ wands, their points for style and hits will be up against Moody and Dearborn’s points, plus an additional ten.” 

“Oh, come on!” Lily huffed now. 

“We still on for the best spell?” asked James.

“Definitely.” She set her jaw determinedly. 

Once they were in position once again, Flitwick counted, “One — Two — Three!”

Lily pointed her wand at the floor, turned to James, and yelled. “The ground is lava!” 

While Dearborn and Moody scrambled to get out of the way, James and Lily hit them both with  _ Expelliarmus _ . 

Not only did they win, but they set a new record for the shortest round in a doubles duel. That was worth more than enough points to out-score any handicap compensation.

* * *

James and Lily were in high spirits just after the awards ceremony. 

“The committee was  _ outraged! _ Did you see their faces?” Peter was practically quivering with glee. “A Muggleborn! Besting two of the best duellers Hogwarts had to offer!”

“It made them look like a bunch of idiots too, trying to suggest that faking a spell was an act of forfeit,” Marlene scoffed.

Lily frowned, troubled. 

“Alright, Evans?” James nudged her gently. 

She nodded. “I know it’s good to rock the boat this way… I’m happy to do it, but sometimes I wish… I wish it didn’t have to be me they looked at like that… like I didn’t deserve to win.” 

“Hey,” Emmeline, the tallest of them, called everyone’s attention. “Where’s Padfoot?”

“And Mary?” Dorcas spun around in search of their friends.

James and Remus shared a look. “Walburga.”

“Who’s Walrus?” asked Dorcas.

James might’ve laughed if not for the very  _ real _ threat that formidable woman posed. “We have to go.”

Remus followed him in the direction of the school committee seats, but they were quickly trapped in the thick throng of people packed into the Great Hall.

“What a bloody fire hazard,” Remus grumbled.

“A  _ mudblood! _ ” A large, big-chested, big-hipped woman bore down on the slight, long-haired boy and his girlfriend. “I heard the rumor to be sure, but I never once  _ dreamed _ you would dishonor your family this way! After all that we’ve done for you!”

Sirius’ fingers were twitching by his sides for his wand, as his mothers’ were for hers. But it was Mary who spoke, “Oh, yeah, all you’ve done for him, alright! Tried to get him on the no-fly list, tried to get him expelled so he’d never find work —”

Walburga wouldn’t be caught dead addressing a Muggleborn, so she spoke to her son, “You won’t need any of that if you come home and do your duty to this family, to our  _ legacy _ —”

“Of bigotry!” Mary yelled, oblivious to the growing number of Slytherins and their families gathering around and the professors trapped in the dense crowd, who would be unable to get to them in time should a fight break out. “Of hate and of  _ cowardice! _ ” 

Walburga went for her wand the same time Sirius did. Walburga’s was at Mary’s throat and Sirius’ was at hers. 

“Sirius.” Walburga eyed Mary with a look of pure contempt and disgust. “I know you’re only dating this piece of filth to anger me. The same way you refuse to come home. The same way you’ve managed to permanently decorate your room in that hideous red and gold color scheme. So if anything at all were to happen to her, I imagine you’d easily find another bitch to shag —”

Wordlessly, James disarmed Walburga from where he was sat on Remus’ shoulders so he could aim. 

Sirius’ shoulders instantly relaxed and some color returned to his pale cheeks. “You talk about Mary like that again, no one will need to wonder what happened to you. Because I will make an example of you and I will happily watch as everything you stand for is burned to the ground, never to rise again.” 

“Thank you all for coming,” said Dumbledore from the other end of the room. “Professors, please escort our guests to the gates where we provide them with food and refreshments for their journey home.”

Haughtily, Walburga lifted her chin and turned on her heel to leave. She would not wait for the shame of being escorted out. 

Mary threw her arms around Sirius’ neck tightly. 

“C'est bon, ma chérie?” he murmured into her hair.

She nodded, although, from his vantage point, James saw a single tear roll down her cheek. 

* * *

James and Lily were waiting at the spiral griffin staircase up to Dumbledore’s office when they were joined by Dearborn, with white bandages over his (temporarily) empty sockets, and Moody. 

“Have you tried lemon drops?” the Auror asked gruffly.

James nodded. “Tried chocolate frogs, Bertie’s beans, cauldron cakes, and all the other usual suspects.”

“What was he eating at breakfast today?” Dearborn wracked his brain. “He commented it might be his new favorite treat, but it had such a funny name, I can’t remember for the life of me…”

“What did it look like?” asked Lily.

“Well, he put it in milk and they were all sorts of colors —”

“Fruit Loops!” Lily exclaimed.

The griffin gave way to the staircase. 

They all looked at her in pleasant surprise.

“It’s, er, a Muggle delicacy,” she said. She couldn’t wait until one of them decided to go to a Muggle motel and loudly declared Fruit Loops a delicacy. She might die of laughter. 

They all trooped up to Dumbledore’s office then and he rose from his high-backed chair to greet them. 

“Please all, have a seat,” he conjured an extra comfortable lounger for them to sit in a row. “I suppose you’re all wondering why I invited the school committee to this event.”

“It’s not standard protocol, no,” said Moody. “But if I had to guess, you wanted to get the parents to meet with their Death Eaters-in-training to see what you could find.” 

Dumbledore nodded like Moody was still a student who had just successfully participated in a classroom discussion. “Precisely.”

“That could’ve gone south very quickly,” said Dearborn, frowning. “Black isn’t the only one who no longer gets along with his family. Greengrass and Bones had some estranged relatives in attendance as well.”

“I understand now that there were flaws in that plan, which is why I’d like both of your help in devising better ones, Dearborn, Moody.”

“And us, sir?” asked James, gesturing between Lily and himself.

“Well, remember how I said I might need your help again, Mr. Potter?” 

“Again?” asked Lily.

“The bathroom incident,” James explained briefly.

Lily frowned at Dumbledore. “You  _ sanctioned _ that?” 

“We were able to make good use of it after the fact —”

“Who is ‘we’?” 

“Myself, Arabella Figg —”

“I have a neighbor named Arabella Figg!” Lily exclaimed.

Dumbledore's bright blue eyes sparkled.

“But she's a Muggle!”

“A squib,” Dumbledore corrected her. “And a very gifted cat whisperer.”

Lily blinked.

“Then there's young Kingsley Shacklebolt,” the Headmaster went on as though recruiting people for an (underground?) movement was a perfectly normal thing to be doing, “Andromeda Black, Ted Tonks, and most of the Hogwarts faculty and staff. We stand against Riddle, who now calls himself Lord Voldemort, and the army he is raising, whom, according to Moody’s sources, call themselves Death Eaters.  _ We _ call ourselves the Order of the Phoenix and I hope we can count the four of you amongst our number.”

“Of course!” James said immediately. 

Moody grunted and it was taken as assent. 

Dearborn and Lily were more hesitant, but for different reasons. 

“Sir,” said the professor, “they’re only  _ children _ —”

“What would we need to do?” Lily asked at the same time.

Dumbledore elected to answer Lily’s question first, “There is a package being delivered to the Hogsmeade post-office tonight and since tomorrow is the start of the Hogsmeade weekend, the students with sinister connections outside this school will be free to bring it in.”

“What’s in the package?” asked James.

“A dark object, I suspect," said Dumbledore. "Not one that harms, but rather one that fiercely protects what it contains.”

“And what it contains is dangerous?” Lily pressed. 

“It is,” the Headmaster's tone dropped an octave so he sounded much more grave.

“And you want them to handle it?” Dearborn shook his head in disbelief. “I’ll go. I’m a professor here, no one will suspect —”

“They will,” Moody cut in. “Sending these two makes sense. They beat us, didn’t they? They can intercept a bloody simple package —”

“That contains a dark object!” 

“That isn’t even harmful!”

“Oh, no, it’s just vaguely dangerous —”

“I can go by myself,” said James. “One is less likely to be noticed —”

“No!” Lily countered. “If you’re going, then so am I!” 

James frowned. “But you just said —”

“I never said I wouldn’t do it —”

“Well, you implied —”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you could read my mind —”

“Quiet, please,” Dumbledore spoke calmly. “Dearborn, you have covered Unforgivables in your course already, have you not?”

“Yes,” Dearborn answered reluctantly. 

Moody scoffed. “Ought to teach it in the very first upper-year class —”

“You want to give fourteen-year-olds the ability to  _ torture _ each other?” Dearborn clutched his chest as though the mere thought gave him heart palpitations.

“Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans," Dumbledore called their attention, "you saw today what these people will not hesitate to do, even out in the open. You are the best choice for this mission and I would not ask if I didn’t think I could protect you if it came down to it.”

James and Lily shared a long look. 

Then Lily said, “Well, then you’d better give us the details because it’s almost evening. Wouldn’t want to miss the delivery.”

Dumbledore smiled warmly. 

* * *

It was nearly midnight in Hogsmeade and the crisp fall air made Lily’s cheeks bloom to match the color of her hair. 

She and James camped on the hill directly across the street from the Hogsmeade post office. There was a thick clump of trees that provided them with good cover.

Lily had volunteered to take the first watch and James had eagerly agreed.

Playfully, she’d questioned his chivalry.

He’d answered very seriously, “Offering to take the first watch isn’t chivalrous. No one likes to be awakened in the middle of the night and then have to try and go back to sleep when all the crickets start chirping and the owls start hooting. It’s much better to stay awake for a few extra hours and then get a full night's sleep.”

“You sound like you have a lot of experience with late-night stake-outs,” she’d teased.

He’d winked and snuggled into his conjured sleeping bag, his cheek squishing cutely. (He’d put his glasses in their case beforehand so they wouldn’t break when he tossed and turned.)

So there Lily was, watching the post office, but she couldn’t help watching James too. His messy head of hair seemed to still when he was asleep and his long nose would crinkle slightly on occasion in reaction to whatever he was dreaming about. 

She hated being such a cowardly Gryffindor, but how could he expect her to be confident when he called her a ‘friend’ at every turn? When he no longer flirted with her shamelessly, even when she initiated it? Lily tucked her legs up to her chest, her bum cold against the mulchy ground. 

_ I love you _ , she mouthed, looking at him, wishing she hadn’t missed her chance. 

Then, having decided that she’d wallowed long enough, turned resolutely towards the post office and barely looked at him when he’d stretched and shuffled away and told her to go to sleep. 

They switched places.

Lily tucked herself into the sleeping bag that was still warm and smelled like James — weird wizarding cologne and all. (It was rather growing on her, to be honest.)

So there James was, watching the post office, but he couldn’t help watching Lily too. He’d tried to tell her she had nothing to prove and that she didn’t have to be there, but she wouldn’t listen, of course. 

Their world was about to get very dangerous, if the measures Dumbledore was taking were any indication. And Lily looked so small in that sleeping bag, her wand still tightly clenched in her pale hand, little creases forming in her forehead in reaction to whatever she was dreaming about. 

He was scared for her, but a secret, guilty part of him was glad to be alone with her now. 

They were friendly again this year, to be sure, and Lily’s father was getting better every day thanks to the Shrinking Solution treatment, but he’d still catch her looking at him in this distracted sort of way, like she couldn’t figure him out, like she wanted to say something to him, but then thought better of it. 

He didn’t want to push her though, he’d learned first hand how well (read: badly) that could go. But it was killing him to be patient when all he wanted was to hug her and make sure she knew it was all going to be alright and either way, he’d be there for her. 

Just then, an owl hooted, flapping its wings with urgency on its way to the post office. There was a small brown-paper package clasped in its talons and several thick, black clouds of smoke on its tail.

“Lily!” James shook her awake. “Use your ring! Call for help! Something’s…” His throat went dry as the package was wrenched from the bird’s grasp and a flash of green light hit the poor creature, sending it plummeting to the ground, cold and dead. “Something’s happening.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *GASP* a cliffhanger!! How do you feel about that? Are you okay?? 😬


	28. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Falling by Harry Styles plays in the background*
> 
> it has nothing to do with this chapter. it's just there for the aesthetic :)

“They’re getting Dumbledore and Dearborn.” Lily looked up from her mirror-ring anxiously as billowing black smoke-screens flew over Hogsmeade, casting it in shadow. 

“We can’t wait,” James said gravely before securing his dark cloak and scarf around himself and running down the hill, Lily at his heels with the invisibility cloak tucked into her belt.

They both cast voice-alteration charms on their throats as well so that their identities would not be known. 

“ _ Expelliarmus! _ ” James knocked the package out of the smoke-screen. 

“ _ Protego Maxima! _ ” Lily covered them but as bolts of green shot down like lightning they were forced to dive out of the way.

“ _ Accio package! _ ” cried James, but it wouldn’t be summoned. “What the —”

“It’s a dark object!” Lily reminded him, wordlessly fending off attacks from all sides. “It’s probably protected against —”

The smoke-screens landed all around them, resolving into seven hooded figures with silver face-masks. Death Eaters.

James dove for the package at the same time as the largest of them. 

Lily threw the invisibility cloak over James and the hulking Death Eater so that none of the others could safely aim at James without risking harming one of their own. 

“ _ Ascendio! _ ” She lifted herself above the fray — “ _ Arresto Momentum! _ ” — and caught herself just outside of the Hog’s Head. 

Three of them broke off from the group surrounding a half-hidden James and anonymous Death Eater. They stalked towards her, firing off Unforgivables with every breath. 

“ _ Levicorpus! Rictusempra! Stupefy! Expelliarmus! Petrificus Totalus! _ ” Lily fired off every spell she knew to intercept the dark magic and send it ricocheting back to its original caster, but she couldn’t block them all and had many near-misses with a Killing curse or a  _ Cruciatus _ . 

Then James let out a garbled cry, loud and primal enough to break through the voice-alteration charm, so Lily knew it was him. This distracted her for a crucial, split-second, and then her body felt like it was consumed by flames. 

“ _ Crucio! _ ” a crazed, high-pitched giggle grated on her ears. 

Lily could hear her own, unaltered voice screaming now too. 

Then all of a sudden, the fire stopped, although her skin still crawled. 

“Dumbledore!” a voice full of fear hissed at the others. 

Through bleary eyes, Lily saw the Death Eaters balk before they took off flying. One of them was holding the package.

“ _ Expelliarmus!” _ she choked out, too weak for a wordless spell, but her aim was way off.

An old man with a long, white beard caught her as she fell, but he was not Dumbledore.

“Aberforth…” she murmured. “James…”

“Let’s get you inside first —”

“No —” Lily  _ Enerverated _ herself and jarred awake, her head pounding viciously. “James!” 

His half-hidden form was just getting up in the middle of the street. He was twitching slightly and wincing in pain.

“James —”

“ _ Accio brooms! _ ” he yelled before turning his wand on himself for his own adrenaline shock. “We have to get the package —”

“But what  _ happened _ to you?” 

“It tore open,” he grunted, catching the brooms and handing one to her. “I touched it for a second.”

“Dumbledore said it didn’t actively seek to harm people!” Indignantly, Lily kicked off after the Death Eaters, James following close behind. 

They couldn’t speak anymore. They flew into the middle of the dark smoke before dropping into a dive as the curses went flying. The Death Eaters hit each other and two dropped out of the sky, but neither of them held the package. 

James pointed the tip of his wand to his glasses. “ _ Occulus videre!  _ There! I see it!” He put himself on a collision course with that Death Eater. 

Lily covered him with a steady stream of hexes and jinxes. 

James elbowed the Death Eater in the face, knocking his mask off and wrenching the package out of his grasp. “Malfoy! You son of a —”

“You’re a dead man, Potter!” he sneered, grabbing a fist full of James’ hair and almost yanking him off his broom.

“ _ Sectumsempra! _ ” growled a low, monotonous voice.

“ _ No! _ ” Lily fired off an intercepting spell, but Snape’s signature curse sliced right through it too and knocked James off his broom. “ _ Arresto Momentum! _ ”

Lily dove after him. Distantly, she heard someone yell, “ _ Incendio! _ ” But all she could think was  _ James, James, James _ and she caught him just before her broom turned to ash and sparks and they both hit the ground with hard thuds and sickening cracks.

“Ow,” she deadpanned, face-down in the dirt.

“I guess I shouldn’t ask if it hurt when you fell from heaven?” James hissed in pain. “‘Cause this wasn’t even half as high and it hurts like  _ hell _ .”

Lily would have laughed if her ribs hadn’t hurt so. “But you could say…” She rolled over on the grass with a groan. “That we fell for each other.”

James sucked in a breath at that. Lily didn’t know if it was in pain or something better. 

“Did you get it?” she asked him, still trying to catch her breath.

“No, fuck.” James covered his face with his hands. “I’m sorry, Lily —”

“No, don’t be. It was my mission too. We can be failures together.” She smiled weakly. 

James sighed and used a Point-Me spell to figure out where they were. “And… we’re in Wiltshire.” 

Lily lifted her mirror-ring to her mouth. There was a large, jagged crack in the glass. “Mary? Marlene? Dorcas? Emmeline? Anyone?”

There was no response. 

James sat up with a groan and Lily got an eye-full of the deep and bloody gash across his back. 

“James!” She tried every healing spell she knew, but nothing worked. “We need Dittany… That works on almost anything.”

James didn’t respond and fell sideways onto her lap. 

“No, no, James!” She slapped his cheeks. “Oh, wait, you’re a witch,” she muttered to herself before  _ Enerverating  _ him. “James! Stay awake!” 

“My parents…” he gasped.

“No, no, no, don’t think like that, James!” Lily shook her head, eyes tearing up, throwing at least a few bandaging spells onto him. “Don’t you  _ dare! _ ”

“They live nearby…” he pointed vaguely east. 

“Oh.” Lily relaxed visibly. “That’s brilliant!” 

She levitated him and started walking (read: stumbling). “What does the house look like?”

“Big,” whispered James.

“So… not your average countryside cottage.” She nodded. “Got it.” 

* * *

A whole meadow and several fields later, Lily came upon a massive manicured lawn with magical-creature-themed hedges. It must be the Potters’ place. 

James was fast asleep and Lily didn’t want to wake him, so she walked right up to the gate and tapped her wand against the brass knocker in the shape of a lioness. (Standard procedure for all wizarding knockers.)

The brass lioness blinked as though just waking up, upon seeing James’ sleeping form, it whispered, “Who goes there?”

“Lily Evans and James Potter,” Lily replied. 

The knocker nodded and stilled. 

Then a brunette witch materialized at her side with a sharp  _ pop _ . “Lily! Merlin! You’re even more beautiful in person! James has told me all about you! What’s happened? Oh, nevermind, don’t you worry about that right now — Take my hand.”

The witch apparated them into the manor inside the gates.

“Here he is, Monty!” She moved James onto the large four-poster bed, faced down. 

The man named Monty looked the spitting image of James — wild jet-black hair, round glasses perched on a long, thin nose. He had the largest bottle of Dittany Lily had ever seen and used a dropper to apply the potion to James’ wounds. 

“You look very pale.” The witch’s hands flew to Lily’s forehead. “And you’re burning up!” 

A few diagnostic spells revealed broken ribs and fresh  _ Cruciatus  _ scars. 

“Oh, I’m Mia, by the way.” She smiled winningly, a perfect replica of James’. Then, without warning, she set Lily’s bones. 

“ _ Agh! _ ” Lily doubled over in pain. 

“There, there.” Mia gave her a numbing potion for the pain. There was nothing she could do for the  _ Cruciatus _ . “You’re stronger than you look!”

“Thanks,” Lily gasped out as she was levitated onto a settee. “Will James be alright?”

Mia looked at Monty, who nodded.

Lily’s shoulders sagged with relief and she noticed Mia’s do the same. 

“I’m sorry.” Lily sobbed, feeling so incredibly guilty. “He shouldn’t have been there. He’s fighting for a cause that’s not even his to fight for —”

“Nonsense,” said Monty. It was the first time he’d spoken the entire time. He had a voice like honey and wine. “It’s everybody’s fight.” 

“That said...” Mia pursed her lips as she looked at her son. “I ought to have a word with —”

The warm fireplace chimed thrice and Dumbledore stepped through and  _ Scourgified  _ himself before stepping off the hearth so he wouldn’t get any soot on Mia’s carpets.

His sharp blue eyes went from Mia to James, to Lily, and Monty.

“Aberforth told me you left this at his.” He gave the invisibility cloak to Lily.

“You have some explaining to do, Albus,” said Mia, summoning a chair for their guest.

“How is he?” Dumbledore examined James’ already healing wounds.

“You can ask him when he wakes up.” Monty cast a silencing charm over the bed so that James wouldn’t wake while they talked.

“I take it the package is lost?” Dumbledore asked Lily. 

“What was in it?” she volleyed back. “James touched it accidentally and it hurt him badly enough to throw off the whole mission.”

“I have only suspicions,” said Dumbledore. “It would be best for James to tell us himself. But Fleamont is right, he should rest. And I must get back to Hogwarts.”

“Malfoy,” Lily remembered, feeling like she was swallowing bile instead of thick saliva. “Sev—Snape was with them. And I think Bellatrix Black.”

Dumbledore nodded. “They are among those missing from their dorms.”

They bid each other goodnight and Dumbledore left with promises to return in the morning. 

Mia slept in the chair and Monty conjured another one for himself. Lily was probably more comfortable than either of them, but she couldn’t sleep. She kept hearing James’ terrible scream and every time she closed her eyes, she’d see him falling and she’d barely been in time to catch him. 

In his bed, James stirred. 

Lily was up in a flash.

His mouth moved but no sound came through the silencing charm. Lily sat on the bed so she was within its bounds.

“Alright, Evans?” he rasped. 

She conjured a glass of water and held it to his lips. “Better than you.”

James chuckled into his water, so some dribbled down his chin, soaking the collar of his sweaty, bloody shirt. “Story of my life.”

Lily shook her head at him. “Your parents are lovely.”

James lifted his head a bit so he could see them in their respective chairs. Then he dropped back down into the pillows. “Ah, good, let them sleep. They seem like they never worry about a thing, but they do. I know they do because I’m the same. I worry… Lily…”

“Hmm?” She frowned. Was he in pain? Delirious?

“It was a tiara of some sort. With an inscription… It was too dark for me to read...”

“The package?”

James nodded. “When I touched it… I… I saw… I saw our lives flash before my eyes…”

“Oh, James…”

“There was one version, where we lost the tiara and… and then several years down the road… I’m not able to protect you… and you die.” Tears were rolling down his cheeks freely now. “In another version, we manage to get it, but… but the same thing happens… I lose you and…” 

Lily leaned down and hugged him carefully. Then she carded her fingers through his hair until his breathing steadied and his vision cleared.

“That’s not all I saw.” James took a deep breath. “I think… I think I saw a farmer? But he wasn’t speaking English… He died too, but I don’t know who killed him… The man who killed us…”

“He hasn’t, James,” Lily cut in. “Whatever you saw did not happen —”

“Time doesn’t have to be linear, you know —”

“Please don’t go all theoretical Runes on me now —”

“Voldemort killed us. And I'd wager he killed that farmer too.” said James. “Dumbledore was right. We can’t underestimate him. He… He’s a good dueler. Or he will be by the time we face him. I couldn’t hold my own for more than five seconds against him.”

“James, you touched a dark object that was likely made by Voldemort or one of his followers. You can't let them make you afraid. You… You don't even have to fight them --"

"Of course I do!" James exclaimed. "They'd enslave Muggles, make second-class-citizens of Muggleborns! And that's if they don't decide to just kill the lot!"

Lily flinched.

"Sorry," he quieted.

"No, no, it… It is horrible… but you don't owe it to any of your Muggleborn friends to do this."  _ You don't owe it to me, who didn't even see you as a friend until recently _ .

"It's more than that. It's the right thing to do."

Lily sighed, but it was fond rather than exasperated. "You're really going to die on that hill, aren't you?"

"Better me than you," he said without reservations. He blamed it on the near-death experience.

Lily hugged him again. "Don't. Don't ever think that. You're a far better person than I am most of the time."

James smirked. "Only most of the time, eh?"

"Oh, shove it." She made a face at him. 

"Have you contacted Dumbledore?" he asked.

Lily nodded. "They're looking for the bastards now."

James tugged on his hair in frustration. "I don't know how we didn't find out they were coming! We tapped the Come-and-Go Room and everything!"

"Maybe if they ask the room not to be heard, it listens." Lily shrugged. "We'll find another way --"

" _ If _ they ever return to Hogwarts, but I bloody hope they won't be allowed. They used Unforgivables on us!" Then his eyes widened further. "Reg!" He tried to get up.

"No, don't," said Lily. "I've got it."

A quick floo to McGonagall told her that Regulus had been on his prefect patrol in the seventh floor corridor the whole night, but just to be certain, Lily asked Sirius to check the map.

"What's happened to Prongs?" he asked, dark brows furrowed together handsomely.

"He's fine," said Lily. "I've got to get back to him though --" 

"Evans, if there's something you're not telling --"

"He will tell you himself first thing in the morning. Marauder's honor."

"You haven't been initiated! It doesn't count!"

"Go on, Lily," Remus cut in. "We're fine here."

Lily nodded and floo'ed back to the Potter manor.

"Well?" James asked as Lily climbed back into the bed so that they could hear each other without the silencing charm between them.

"McGonagall and the map confirmed it," she assured him. "Reg was in the seventh-floor corridor the whole night."

James exhaled heavily. It was as though all his energy left him then. His usually wild hair stayed matted to his head no matter how many times he tugged at it and his usually golden-tinged hazel eyes were dulled to nearly solid brown. 

"I'm glad we're both alive tonight," he whispered, feeling himself choke up again. "I'm glad you're here and not… not…"

Lily held him tightly, pressing a chaste kiss to his temple, where a purple bruise was forming. "I'll always be here, James. Until the very end."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yell at me! Don't be a stranger! [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/masterlist)


	29. Over a Butterbeer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😏😏😏😏😏

Mia Potter, James, and Lily floo’ed into Dumbledore’s office the next morning. 

“Oh, it’s Hogsmeade weekend, isn’t it?” Mia asked, but it wasn’t really a question. “Well, run along, you two. Go see your friends. Let the adults handle a few things.” She fixed Dumbledore with a piercing gaze that kept him seated in his high-backed chair. 

Lily tried to stay on the spiral griffin staircase as long as possible so that she could hear what was going on. “Do you think she’ll chew him out?” 

“Oh, I  _ know _ she will,” said James. 

“Aren’t  _ you _ upset with him for sending us — sending  _ you _ — in unprepared?” 

“He told us everything he knew at the time —”

“You assume he did.” Lily shook her head. “What’s your parents’ code for him?”

“Blue.”

Lily raised her eyebrows in question.

“In between Yellow and Green.”

“That’s not good!”

“It’s not bad!” James argued.

Lily huffed. “Thank Merlin he’s on our side at least.”

They headed down to the entrance gate, shoulders coming together occasionally as they walked over the uneven grounds.

“Right, so Quidditch,” James pointed at his forehead. “You hit me in the head with a bludger —”

“Wait,  _ what? _ ” Lily rounded on him.

“Well, we can’t tell anyone we’re now agents of the Order!” he hissed.

“You sound  _ way _ too excited about that for a bloke who almost died last night.”

James ignored her and continued making up excuses for them. “Your injuries could probably be easily explained away by a crash —”

“I would  _ not _ crash —”

“It was windy last night. It’s not your fault —”

“Oh, bugger off, Potter.”

“Well,  _ I _ can’t crash, that would be suspicious!” 

Lily rolled her eyes.

The pair met their respective friend groups in the Three Broomsticks. The girls got a booth in the far left of the pub and the boys got one on the far right. 

Once everyone was up to speed on the night’s events, the Marauders engaged in their usual plots and shenanigans, hoping to restore some sense of normalcy. 

Meanwhile, the girls were playing a loose version of who’d you rather combined with sixth-form superlatives. 

“Who’s the best kisser in our year, do you think?” asked Emmeline.

“Fenwick,” said Amelia.

“Sirius,” said Mary.

“That doesn’t count!” Marlene argued. “You’re dating him!” 

“Amy’s practically going steady with Fenwick!” Mary rebutted.

“She still calls him ‘Fenwick!’” the others chorused. 

“Alright, fine, who came back the fittest this year?” asked Mary.

“James,” Amelia and Lily said in unison. 

Then they looked at each other, not saying a word. 

“Okay then!” Dorcas banished their empty tumblers. “More Butterbeer?” 

There were murmurs of assent and Mary flagged down Rosmerta. 

“Did you two really spend last night together?” Amelia asked Lily. 

“Yes,” said Lily defensively.

“Playing Quidditch?” Amelia was skeptical.

“It’s actually quite fun.” Lily popped a soda cracker into her mouth. 

“So you’re finally admitting it!” Emmeline leaned in eagerly. “You’re into him!” 

Lily ducked her head shyly. She was more than _into_ _him_ , but her friends didn’t need to know that just yet. They’d tease her relentlessly!

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Dorcas shoved Lily out of the booth. “Go buy him a Butterbeer!”

“I —” Lily looked to the rest of the group for help, but they adamantly refused to make eye-contact with her. “Ugh, you lot are the worst!”

“You’ll thank us someday!” Marlene called after her. 

“I call dibs on godmum!” said Mary. 

Lily walked on leaden feet to the Marauders’ table. 

Arthur had joined them since Molly was visiting her recently graduated brothers, Fabian and Gideon, in their new jobs as co-managers of Zonko’s.

James noticed her before she got within six feet of the table. “Alright —”

“CanIbuyyouaButterbeer?” she asked louder than was strictly necessary. 

“Sorry, what?” He stood and came to stand directly in front of her to hear her better.

She had to tilt her head almost all the way back to see his face. “Can I…”  _ Hug you. Kiss you. Spend the rest of my life with you, which might not be that long if we’re now ‘agents of the Order’ as you like to say _ . “Butterbeer? I owe you. From last time. Year. Yeah.”

“Nonsense,” he sounded a lot like his father. “You don’t owe me a thing, Lily. You saved my life.”

Lily had to look away from the intensity of his gaze, but that had her staring straight at his collarbones, which were peaking out of his Gryffindor Quidditch sweater, which was almost exactly like the one he had knitted for her. (Okay, so the one he’d knitted was longer in one arm, the golden stripe was almost diagonal, and it was far too big for someone her size, but it was the  _ thought _ that mattered.)

“Brilliant!” she squeaked and turned to go back to her friends, her figurative tail between her legs.

“So —” James’ fingers brushed her arm over her jacket sleeve. “— I guess that means… I owe you another drink?” 

Lily beamed. “It’s a date.”

James’ eyes widened.

“I mean —”

“You mean —”

“— only if you want —”

“— you really want —”

“— I don’t want to presume —”

“— I just assumed you still —”

“— that just because you used to feel that way —”

“— didn’t feel that way and I’m okay with that —”

“— that you would still but I love you.”

“— although I still love you.”

Unbeknownst to them, several coins exchanged hands at their simultaneous declaration. 

Lily gazed into the warmth of his deer-like eyes. She watched, mesmerized, as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. 

James couldn't see anything else but the forest in her eyes and the little scrunch of her nose that meant she was pleased. 

"You weren't  _ Imperioused _ last night, were you?" he breathed.

Lily shook her head, her aching ribs fighting to keep her soaring heart contained. From his wild hair -- because it was wild again as soon as he'd woken up that morning -- to the tips of his Quidditch callused fingers and down to his gangly legs, this boy wanted to call her his and wanted to be called hers. 

After everything they'd been through -- because and in spite of it all -- he was here.

"May I kiss you?" she whispered.

James swallowed around nothing. "Yeah, I mean, if you want --"

She kissed him. 

He tasted the sweetness of her chapstick and Butterbeer.

His hands went around her shoulders tenderly and her fingers skimmed up his chest.

When they finally parted for air, they held each other's hands deliberately, questioningly. 

Yes, this was alright, they seemed to say to each other with a single, shy, flushed look. 

Then they walked to the bar together and sat down side by side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😏😏😏😏😏
> 
> (the smirks are a lie, i need your validation / not-validation. what did you think??)


	30. Ah, Biscuits

With the extended weekend curfew another hour away, James and Lily walked through Hogsmeade arm in arm as the sun set over the hilly Scottish village.

They were just coming upon Madam Puddifoot's when another couple barged out of the teashop.

"Minerva!" a strong, harried voice boomed.

Lily and James had their wands out in an instant, ready to defend their Head of House, whose emerald robes swished against the fallen leaves as she whirled about to address her suitor.

"I said no, Phin," she barely opened her lips to speak.

"But an explanation is common courtesy!" he retorted. He was about the same age as she was, wearing formal baby blue robes, and he had a Londoner's accent.

"And explanation only leads to argument," she made to turn away from him again.

"Minnie," he said more softly, invitingly. "Won't you at least consider it? Unless your feelings have changed since we've last written, we love each other. I was so pleased when you agreed to see me as more than just friends today. I don't see why --"

"You would know better than me just why we can't. Or else I have severely misjudged your intelligence."

"Death is a coward's excuse."

"Don't you dare --"

" _ Your _ words!"

"We have to focus on our duties, numerous enough as they are, we don't need more!"

"Because I'll always wonder," he continued as though she hadn't spoken, "whether it was circumstances that kept you from marrying me… or an old flame."

McGonagall's eyes fired up behind her rectangular spectacles. "I would never mislead you like that!"

"You might not even be aware you're doing it --"

"If you are so unsure of our relationship --"

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life! It's  _ you _ who --"

"-- then you should just go!" McGonagall hissed like a cat. 

The man's shoulders slumped in defeat. "Fine." He apparated away with a sharp  _ pop _ .

Abruptly, McGonagall turned away from the spot he once stood and came face to face with James and Lily. 

Anyone else would have turned away immediately and pretended nothing had happened. But not James. 

In all his empathy which Lily so admired, he asked, "We were just heading in for some biscuits. Would you care to join us, Professor?"

McGonagall was surprised too. That must be the only explanation for why she nodded and joined them in one of the booths at the very back of Puddifoot's.

"I remember my first date," said James conversationally. 

"You'd better," Lily murmured. "It only ended a minute ago."

James sent her a cheeky grin before turning back to McGonagall. “A lot of people say things they don’t really mean when they’re nervous.”

McGonagall looked at them over the rims of her glasses. "It's foolishness is what it is. These silly social conventions. Dates, proposals, the lot of it."

“Well, granted, people don’t usually propose on the very  _ first _ date,” said James, “but, I  _ know _ you don't really believe that.”

McGonagall’s serious expression did not falter for a second. “You two… have not witnessed a war. What’s happening now with Voldemort will not be over by Christmas, by the summer, and maybe not even by this time next year. Personally, I want the risks I take to be mine alone, the mistakes I make to be mine alone, the people I  _ anger _ to come for my blood  _ alone _ .”

James and Lily looked at each other and automatically put some space between them.  _ I don’t want to hurt you _ , they seemed to say to each other.

“Here you are, loves.” Madam Puddifoot herself arrived with their biscuits. 

“Thank you.” McGonagall took one and took a large, comforting bite out of it.

“But if he truly loves you,” said James, “he’ll be back when the coast is clear and maybe even before then.”

McGonagall’s lips quirked up slightly at this. “I reckon he will.”

“And if like you say, he would know better than you what the dangers are, he must work in the ministry?”

“What are you getting at, Mr. Potter?”

“Well, if something were to happen to him anyway, and you loved him, wouldn’t you rather have said yes and gotten at least some time instead of none at all?”

“But not if it puts  _ another _ target on his back!” Lily and McGonagall said in unison.

“I’m not saying people have to know!” James put his hands up defensively.

McGonagall pursed her lips. “I will take it under advisement, Mr. Potter.” 

“Professor,” Lily leaned in, “do you think they will hunt down Muggleborns and their families? I heard someone mention it on the radio, but they were practically laughed off the show.”

“There are several measures you can take to protect yourself and your family, Ms. Evans…” McGonagall tapped her chin thoughtfully. “The easiest and surest is one you might not like: Leave England. Don’t go to the States either. Australia might suffice. Take your family with you and don’t come back until the war’s over.”

Lily blinked once, twice. “You’re right, I don’t like it.”

“The other option —” McGonagall turned her teacup around and around upon its saucer. “— is to send your family away and never speak to them again until the war is over. I would still advise that you leave Hogwarts and continue your education once it is safe to do so —”

“You can’t be serious!” Lily couldn’t believe she was hearing this from the head of the house that stood for courage!

“Look at me and tell me that again,” McGonagall’s voice was stern. “You’re not even of age — either of you. What’s the point of fighting for this world if no one’s going to be around to live in it after?” 

Lily looked to James for help in winning this argument. 

“Have they managed to track down Malfoy and the rest?” asked James.

“Yes,” said McGonagall, “and they claim they were  _ Imperiused _ . The right people found the right evidence to support their claim.”

James and Lily’s eyes widened in horror. 

“They’re going to be allowed back into Hogwarts!” exclaimed Lily in disbelief.

“I’ll testify against them!" declared James. "There’s no way they were  _ Imperioused! _ I looked into Malfoy’s eyes! I know the signs!”

“It won’t hold up,” said McGonagall, “You’ll only risk your position at Hogwarts by explaining  _ why _ you were going after them in the first place. Based on what Phin’s told me, enough people in high places at the ministry don’t believe Voldemort is a real threat.”

“Then that settles it.” James leaned back on the bench. “Voldemort is recruiting at Hogwarts and keeping his agents there. We have to fight him there or we lose not just this world, but its future too. Also, Lily, I’m breaking up with you.” 

“ _ What? _ ” Lily rounded on him. “What was all that about getting some time being better than getting none at all —”

James turned around fully so his back was to the crowded establishment and his exaggerated wink to her went unseen by any curious eyes. “We’re just not right for each other, I see that now! I’m sorry, but I hope we can still be friends.” He dropped his voice down to a whisper. “Okay, now slap me.”

Lily did without hesitation. “That’s for scaring me like that,” she whispered. Then more loudly she said. “I will  _ never _ forgive you for this James Fleamont Potter! You arrogant, bullying  _ toerag!  _ I  _ hate _ you!” Then she stormed out, head down and scarf up to hide her smile. 

James kept up the act by tugging his hair in distress and flopping back down onto the bench. “I guess it’s just you and me, Minnie.”

McGonagall almost spat out her tea at the nickname. “ _ Don’t _ . It’s bad enough when Sirius does it.” 

James laughed before remembering he was supposed to be at least a little bummed out that he’d broken a girl’s heart. 

“Just…” McGonagall was proud, so incredibly proud of those two. She’d asked Dumbledore for this opportunity to make sure that this was the life that they wanted. She couldn’t in good conscience allow them to continue participating in activities of the Order otherwise. “Just be sure. You always have a choice, Mr. Potter.”

“Thank you, Professor,” said James.

Over the next few days, he and Lily ironed out the details of their ‘break up.’ They agreed that not even their friends could know that they were still together. Sirius would let it slip accidentally, as would Mary. 

So, the official story was, they’d gone on their one date, realized they weren’t a good match, and while Lily had been upset with James for a week, she eventually came around to re-re-accepting him as her friend. The end.

* * *

James was humming a Celestina Warbeck song under his breath while on his prefect rounds, checking the broom cupboards near the library.

One of them appeared to be locked, which was always a sure sign of occupancy. (Filch gave up on locking them years ago since witches and wizards could simply  _ Alohamora _ them open, as James did now.)

He was grabbed by his dangling red and gold tie and pulled into the darkness. 

“Took you long enough,” a familiar voice huffed, warm, minty breath caressing his cheek.

“Well, hello to you too, Evans.” He leaned down and kissed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be fair, the prompt said "first date gone wrong" not that Jily's first date went wrong, and after everything I put them through in this fic, aren't you glad I'm so sneaky like this?? ;) ;)


	31. Defying Voldemort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until the very end...

A few weeks before the start of winter holidays, Professor Kettleburn announced he would be going on sabbatical in Australia for a while. Those in the know at Hogwarts knew he really just wanted to get away before the war really broke out, but they couldn’t be too upset about it, because their favorite Care of Magical Creatures guest lecturer was to take his spot and a celebration was in order. 

The Marauders, Lily, Mary, Marlene, Dorcas, and Emmeline all crowded into Hagrid's hut with several of their schoolmates and most of the Hogwarts staff to throw Hagrid a surprise party in his own home. (Dumbledore had a meeting at the Wizengamot and McGonagall was on a short personal leave to London.)

With the limited magical ability of his broken wand fused into his large pink umbrella, Hagrid couldn't do much by way of extension charms to better accommodate everyone, but he was also a proud young giant, a Gryffindor, and wanted to make his home on his own merit. 

What his umbrella did have more than enough magic for was making vodka out of his recently harvested potato patch. 

“Does —” Hagrid hiccuped loudly. “Does anyone need a refill?” he bellowed in his thick accent.

“Me, please!” sang Mary, swooning tipsily in Sirius’ lap. For once, when she said that there simply wasn’t enough room to sit elsewhere, she wasn’t blatantly lying. 

“Conti—Conta—Colla—grueling—grilling—” James struggled to congratulate Hagrid for the umpteenth time. He’d managed it well enough when he’d first arrived sober. 

“Thank yeh, James,” Hagrid, of course, understood him perfectly. (Perhaps all people, when drunk, understood each other.)

Trelawney stood suddenly, declaring that Hagrid’s tenure was to be blessed by the alignment of Venus and Neptune. (One always knew when Trelawney was drunk because her so-called prophecies did a complete 180 from dark and ominous to puppies and rainbows.)

Meanwhile, Lily was sighing to herself in the corner, leaning against Marlene’s shoulder, while Dorcas’ legs were draped over Marlene’s lap from the other side. She was drunk too, certainly, but not too drunk to forget that she had to pretend that she and James were supposed to be just friends. But he looked so delectable in his fitted jumper over his button-up — with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows too! It was so unfair!

The worst part was when Flitwick started playing a slow jazzy tune on his saxophone and Amelia sauntered over to James and pulled him up off the couch to dance. 

Lily filled her martini glass all the way to the brim at that and chugged it down so her throat was burning, her head was pounding, and her limbs felt like feathers and lead at the same time. The perfect condition for dancing. 

She pulled a very surprised-looking Benjy up from his seat. They started swaying to the low, sweet music.

Hagrid knew the song. A wizarding crooner from the twenties:

_When my potion sticks to_

_The bottom of my cauldron_

_And I don’t know who to floo_

_Can’t apparate from my problems_

_My sweet magician flies in on his broom_

_So now, I sing…_

_My sweet magician, please get here soon_

_So now, I sing…_

James spun Amelia out at the same time Benjy spun Lily. Wordlessly, the pair switched partners. 

“I missed you.” Lily put her arms around James’ neck.

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up either,” he said, running his hands up and down the space between her hips and her waist as they moved slowly, languidly.

Lily leaned her head back so she could look at him properly — his hazel eyes tinted gold in the firelight, his honey-brown skin that contrasted so lovelily against her own, his forever wild jet-black hair that she was dying to card her fingers through while she kissed him and kissed him and kissed him until neither of them could breathe. 

James was thinking much the same thing about her. Her eyes matched her emerald earrings — which she’d even allowed him to gift her for their one-week anniversary! Her flaming-red hair was ironed straight so it appeared very long past her bare shoulders. He wanted to trace his fingers over their creamy surface while he kissed her and kissed her and kissed her until his glasses fell off his face.

The sound of agitated hooves clopping just outside the hut made everyone look, but there appeared to be nothing out there. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Hagrid shuffled outside, seeming to talk to the air. “Whassamatta? Huh? Wha’? Talk to me, beau’iful…”

The students who had read _Hogwarts: A History_ knew he was speaking to the thestrals. 

There was a snort and a huff and Hagrid looked towards the front gates with a deep-set frown.

“Pomona, Filius,” he said, “get the students inside. Call Albus and Minerva —”

“What is it, Rubeus?” squeaked Flitwick, pushing his way past people’s lower limbs so that he could speak to Hagrid with some privacy. 

Remus and Peter were already passing around Sober-Up potions. 

Discreetly, Sirius managed to disentangle himself from a sleepy Mary. He stepped into the shadow of the scarecrow in the middle of Hagrid’s garden and transformed into a dog so that he could hear what the professors were saying. 

“... smells like death…”

“... using our own children against us…”

“... won’t get past the wards, surely…”

“... have to move fast…”

Sirius transformed back and snuck back to the group. “Lads,” he whispered to the Marauders. “We’ve never had any trouble getting past the wards if we used the passages —”

Peter frowned. “They’d have to know where —”

“They found the shack,” Remus reasoned.

James shook his head. “But they’re not coming through the shack —”

“It’s a distraction!” they cried out simultaneously and took off in the direction of the Whomping Willow.

“ _Boys!_ ” Slughorn was the first to call after them, but they paid him no mind.

“I’ll go with them, Professor,” said Lily, running off as well.

“We’re with you, Lily!” Her dorm-mates followed.

Slughorn sputtered, “ _No,_ that’s not —”

“ _Expecto Patronum!_ ” Flitwick commanded and sent two spectral kneazles off to fetch McGonagall and Dumbledore.

Professor Sprout and Trelawney hurried the rest of the students back to the relative safety of the castle. 

Amelia was torn between helping the fight and securing the students. She was Head Girl, after all.

“Bones!” Sprout hissed. “Rouse the other students! Assemble in the Great Hall and take attendance!” 

That made the decision for her and she hurried away.

“D’yeh reckon they’re righ’?” Hagrid asked Flitwick. “Tha’ wha’ever’s comin’ from ‘ere could be a distraction?” 

Flitwick’s mustache twitched. “Horace, stay here with Hagrid to guard the gate. I’ll go help students —”

A flash of bold green hurtled towards them and they all dove out of the way.

“Nevermind!” Flitwick squeaked, simultaneously terrified that they were under attack, yet relieved that his students were safe.

Four boys and five girls stood around the gently swaying Whomping Willow.

“Should we get down there?” Mary asked. “Set up some wards?”

“No,” said James immediately. “It’s dark. We don’t know who or what we’ll come upon. We’d be at a disadvantage.”

Just then, the Whomping Willow stilled as though immobilized.

“Steady, all...” Lily whispered.

Then a large, feral man burst out from underneath the tree, only to be hit with nine stunners. He fell forward in a heap. 

“Fenrir Greyback.” Remus paled. 

“ _Crucio!_ ” a sadistic giggle echoed up the passageway and the Unforgivable just barely missed Sirius’ ankle.

“ _Reducto!_ ” Sirius fired into the hole. “ _Bombardia!_ ” He was trying to cave it in.

“ _Aguamenti Maxima!_ ” Mary joined in, trying to flood the passageway.

But their combined efforts only sent the Death Eaters scrambling out of there like ants.

“ _Avada —_ ”

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ” James cut the first one off and started dueling with two wands.

“ _Accio Lily,_ ” one of them hissed. 

“ _Diffindo!_ ” she slashed his mask off and a bit of his hood before he wrenched her wand out of her hand and held her in front of him like a human shield. 

“Let me go, Severus!” she elbowed him in the gut and he immobilized her. 

“Stop!” James cried so that none of them would accidentally hit Lily. 

Then a dark-haired man with red-rimmed eyes and a finely cut jaw stepped out of the shadows. His robes were black silk with a high collar, clasped with a silver snake pendant. 

“How nice of you all to welcome us,” he drawled before moving towards the castle.

James stepped in front of him, both wands raised. “Can’t let you do that, Riddle.”

The intruder’s eyes narrowed viciously. “It’s _Voldemort_.”

“My apologies,” James’ tone was light though his face was terse. “ _Voldemort_ , Hogwarts is not accepting visitors at the moment. If you would like to make an appointment with Dumbledore, I’m sure that can be arranged —”

“No, no, Potter, that won’t be necessary,” said Riddle. “It’s you I’ve come to see, you and your fellow witches and wizards who deserve a place in the future of this world.”

"Oh," James said brightly. "Well, if that's all, you can release our friend. I'll make us a cuppa and we can have a nice, civil chat."

"Sorry." Riddle shrugged. "But I keep my promises to my most loyal followers and Severus has asked for her."

Everything inside James told him to hex Riddle right then and there, but he remembered his visions from the tiara. Lily was still at great risk and James didn't even know if Riddle was capable of wandless magic. He told himself that he wasn't giving into fear, that he was just being careful, but he didn't quite believe it.

"Stand aside, Potter," Riddle commanded, raising his hand and wiggling his fingers, as though threatening to curse him.

Wordlessly, Remus summoned Riddle's wand out from under the man's rich robes. 

" _Ennerverate!_ " Bellatrix woke up Greyback.

" _Stupefy!_ " yelled Marlene and Dorcas, who had a clear shot from which they wouldn't risk hitting Lily.

Bellatrix deflected them with a swish of her wand and started dueling them both. 

Riddle whirled around and snarled at Remus, "Respect your betters, half-breed. _Avada --_ " 

Peter freed the Whomping Willow and it smacked into Riddle, sending him hurtling twenty feet in the air. 

" _Arresto Momentum!_ " One of his Death Eaters caught him and set him down right in front of Peter.

"S-sorry!" Peter stuttered.

" _Petrificus Totalus!_ " Sirius was at his side in an instant, whipping a silver mask off of a frozen-in-place Lucius Malfoy. "No need to be sorry, Wormy! Now we know this so-called Lord can't even do wandless magic! How embarrassing."

While the Whomping Willow took care of Goyle, Crabbe, Mulciber, and Parkinson, Bellatrix was quickly losing to Marlene, Dorcas, and Emmeline, and Greyback to James, Remus, and Mary.

But Riddle would not back down. " _You're_ the embarrassment, Black. Your little brother has more of that courage you so pride yourself in, the courage to _take_ what's rightfully his!"

He lunged at Sirius, a shining silver dagger appearing in his hand at the last second, cutting into Sirius' chest. Now he had a wand and pointed it at Peter while Sirius lay bleeding.

Lily then did something that was both very brave and very stupid.

She said, "Take me with you, Severus, please. Back the way you came. I don't want to be here anymore."

Snape could not have been more happy to oblige her. 

"Lily!" James turned when he saw a flash of red disappear into the passageway. Then he saw Sirius and Peter. "Padfoot! Wormtail! _Fuck!_ "

"We've got this one, Prongs!" Remus set his jaw determinedly. "Go! Help them!"

James ran off, muttering a final curse in Greyback's direction.

"You dare raise your wand against me, Lupin?" Greyback growled. "Do you not know who I am? I am more a father to you than your own!"

"What in Merlin's name are you on about?" Mary shook her head at him, a deep frown of concentration on her face.

"Oh, if they knew..." Greyback parried their hexes with ease. He even took some direct hits without batting an eyelid. "They would probably _demand_ that you come away with us!"

" _Silencio!_ " Remus barked. "Let's see you try to recite incantations now, you bastard!"

In the darkness of the passageway, Lily took a swing at Snape faster than he could say, 'Lumos.' He didn't see it coming and while he clutched his broken nose, Lily grabbed his wand.

" _Incarcerous!_ " She bound him with rope and climbed back out of the passage.

" _Impedimenta!_ " She hit Riddle from behind and heard his robes rip as he went down.

As soon as Riddle realized who had pinned him to the ground his face morphed into a look of disgust. " _Mudblood_ . You ought to be ashamed of your ungratefulness. You dare to _defy_ \--"

"My Lord!" Bellatrix cried out, seeing him face-down on the ground. " _Crucio!_ "

Lily crumpled to the ground in pain. 

" _Impedimenta!_ " James kept Riddle down in her place, but he didn't want to leave Sirius' side until he'd finished healing him.

"The level-one wards are down! But I can't keep them that way!" called a voice that made Sirius sit up despite the dagger sticking out of his chest.

"Reg…" he groaned weakly as James muttered one last healing spell.

Peter sniffed the dagger and cast some diagnostic spells. "No poison. You'll be fine, Pads."

Riddle, who still held on fiercely to Sirius' wand, engulfed himself in a black smoke-screen and flew away.

When the others saw their leader retreating, they followed suit.

"We'll meet again, Lupin," said Greyback, grinning toothily before he too was surrounded by a cloud of dark smoke. "I'm sure of it."

" _Accio brooms!_ " Sirius pointed his wand in the general direction of the Quidditch pitch. "Come on! Let's after them!"

"No!" a great voice boomed, coming towards them from the castle.

"Dumbledore, we almost had them!" James caught his Cleansweep neatly. "We have to --"

"You have all put yourselves at enough risk for one night," the Headmaster cut him off. "I've called members of the Order. They're here to follow the Death Eaters to their hideout, perhaps even their headquarters."

"But we could end this right now!" Lily struggled to her feet beside him.

Dumbledore shook his head. "Voldemort is far too entrenched. We cannot afford to make a martyr out of him --"

"Well, we don't want any martyrs on our side either!" said Mary.

"And this is the best way to ensure that." He looked at them each in turn, not a trace of a twinkle in his eyes. "Come, let us go back to the castle together. Is that a bit of his robe?"

James looked down at where Riddle had been thrashing against the _Impediment_ jinx. "Yeah."

Dumbledore summoned it.

"Sir?" asked James.

Dumbledore looked over James' shoulder where Slughorn was fussing over his favorite student, Lily. "Horace, would you happen to have some Polyjuice on hand?"

"Why, yes, of course, er, what for?" 

"There is another reason why I think it is prudent for us to follow them instead of apprehending them right away," answered Dumbledore.

In the dungeons, they all crowded around the foul-smelling cauldron and Dumbledore dropped the few bits of dried skin and strand of hair that had been found on the scrap of robe. Then he drank a cup full. In an instant, he shortened, aged backward, and became Rodolphus Lestrange.

"Polyjuice can only change one's appearance, not DNA," he said in Lestrange's voice, "My sources were right. Voldemort is still at large. The man you fought today was not him."

"So this was… some kind of dress rehearsal?" asked Lily.

Dumbledore-as-Lestrange nodded. "I trust you will all keep this to yourselves?"

They all agreed.

"Excellent. Now, I will probably be this way for about an hour, but I trust you can all make your way to the Great Hall safely and inform Professor McGonagall that students may return to their dorms?"

There was a chorus of, "Yes, sir's," and "Goodnight, Headmaster's."

"I know they just tried to kill us and all…" said Lily, "but what if they were given an impossible choice, like Sirius, only they don't have the friends to support them. They're going to be in trouble for failing Voldemort, aren't they?"

Sirius stiffened at this, thinking of his brother.

"No, Voldemort won't harm them. He needs them," James reasoned, "and Dumbledore won't kick them out of Hogwarts because as long as they're here, he can keep an eye on them. We'll get Reg away safely, Padfoot. We just need a plan."

Sirius nodded as Mary squeezed his hand comfortingly. 

"Hey, mate," Peter nudged Remus' shoulder as the latter fell behind the rest of the group. "Alright?"

"Is _anyone_ alright after what just happened?" Remus scuffed his shoes against the rough stone floor.

"Sorry," Peter mumbled, recoiling. "Stupid question."

Remus looked at him, feeling guilty. "No, it -- I appreciate -- Greyback practically outed me in front of Mary."

Peter's eyebrows shot up to his somehow already receding hairline. "'Practically?'"

"Talked about how I should recognize him. Talked about my father."

"That could mean anything."

"Right, you're right."

"I mean, we also found out that Voldemort wasn't really Voldemort tonight, so I doubt she's going to be thinking about Greyback being cryptic very much."

"Yeah."

"Hey, did you know that the human brain actually automatically disregards or explains away things it doesn't understand right away, especially when there's no real need to understand them?" 

"I didn't actually." Remus smiled. 

Peter smiled back. They were going to be alright.

They joined everyone else in the Great Hall and then all of Gryffindor climbed the Grand Staircase back to the Tower.

By the time they got there, about ten different versions of events were circulating. No one knew about Lestrange and the Polyjuice, but they all knew this: James Potter had sassed the one who calls himself Lord Voldemort and Lily Evans had bested him with a mere _Impediment_ jinx. 

This caused the Death Eaters and Voldemort a great deal of embarrassment, especially since _The Quibbler_ , an off-beat but respected publication by Pandora Lovegood printed an article the very next morning with all the (rumored) details entitled, "Defying Hate With Love." 

"Hey, Evans!" James called across the Gryffindor table. "It says here as soon as I saw you beat Moldy's arse, I realized what I fool I'd been and asked you out again!"

"Hey, Potter," she yelled back. "It says here I told you 'no' and dumped a goblet of pumpkin juice on your head!"

"Really?" James flipped through the magazine. "Where?"

Lily flicked her wand and James noticed the goblet of pumpkin juice above his head. 

"Oh, for Godric's sake," he muttered as it upended on his head.

The Great Hall erupted in laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for an amazing Jilytober! (It was my first in the fandom!) I had so much fun writing this fic and I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much :) I hope to be back next year with the sequel ;)
> 
> Thank you also to MagicGirlInAMuggleWorld for these insanely fun prompts!
> 
> Don't be a stranger! You can always talk to me and read more fic on Tumblr [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/) xx


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